thinking gross thoughts about you (romantically)
I'm in my sisyphus era but I'm pretty sure I'm almost out of it
aw hell
Born to be a lover girl forced to master detachment and avoidance
once i learn to express any strong emotion without bursting into tears it’s over for y’all
shivelight i love you; words for such niche natural phenomena are so beautiful to me 😭
On the day when the rain fell and flooded the ground, the sign of the wolf appeared outside of town.
recent 1am-5am routine
No one has painted me in over 400 years.
if we were in a fantasy world would you even help me plant the magic beans? 🤨🫘
One of the weirdest thing about growing up suicidal is that you assume you have no future, you don’t even try to envision it because you see no point. So eventually, you start assuming everyone else sees nothing in your future either. Recently, my friend and I were talking and she said something about how at her wedding I could wear a suit or a dress as long as it matched her bridesmaid’s dresses because the butler of honor has to make a good impression. This hit me so hard because I had never realized before how other people thought about me. She said it so casually like it wasn’t even a hard decision, just a given fact. She loves me so much she saw me at her wedding, standing with her on one of the most important days of her life. And you know what? There are so many people who think about you that way. If that isn’t proof that you should keep going I don’t know what is.
This is called a sense of foreshortened future and it is also very common in traumatized people, particularly in cases involving long-term abuse or the death of a loved one.
what the heck is the point. giving up would be so easy ur honour.
hello insomnia i love facing you with no shield again! and even if i sleep and let the nightmares get me, nothing is keeping them away! where are my magic rocks. where are my cats. where is the wizard to watch me sleep and keep the knocking man away!!
crazy but. maybe i think it's important to talk about important things with your partner!! i do not know how to keep trying to find a communication style when it feels like there is no desire on your end to remember what you like (let alone love!) abt your partner! i am so ill abt this growing mould on our relationship!! i miss feeling safe!! i wish i felt better telling u in person than subtweeting on tumblr im sorry!!
made of love & made to love



