Rating Star Trek TOS costumes because why not! (part 4)

This Side of Paradise (1x24). Even in post-scarcity utopian space communes, it seems we can't escape traditional gender roles (or date rape). Pretty boring but I am fond of the lavender/forest green color combo of Leila's outfit and the ubiquitous black boots that TOS loves so much. 5/10.

The Devil in the Dark (1x25). Maybe I'm playing it fast and loose with the term "costume" here but I couldn't leave her out! The Horta is the peak of TOS's arts-and-crafts practical effects - it's clearly just a repurposed old rug, like I'm not even sure they're trying to hide it. And she's an icon, the realest bitch there is, love her, 100/10

Errand of Mercy (1x26). They look like they're going to a renaissance fair but Kirk's doing the bare minimum because he's really just there to support his boyfriend. Love Spock's little cape and matching tights and tunic. 8/10 for him, 4/10 for Kirk (do better, Captain).

Remember when the Klingons were barely-disguised yellow peril caricatures? 😐 Not even the golden sash with the sloppy fringe can save this hot mess, 0/10.

The City on the Edge of Forever (1x28). Every time TOS puts Spock in a hat, I cheer and clap my hands. Kirk is also pulling his weight in that cute butch flannel, I am a fan of everything that is going on here, 9/10.

This outfit is not very accurate to the period but it is cute, fashionably monochromatic, and as far as I'm concerned Edith Keeler can do no wrong. 8/10.

Operation -- Annihilate! (1x29). I had a hard time getting a proper shot of this outfit because Aurelan spends most of her limited screentime freaking out about her dead family (seen on the left) but that patterned blouse/coveralls combo is pretty adorable and her hair looks so good! 7/10.

you know when you find a fic on ao3 with a really exciting summary and tags but not that many kudos, then you open it and the fic is in first person like oh

mystery solved!

Rating Star Trek TOS costumes because why not! (part 3)

The Squire of Gothos (1x17). I wish I had half as much fun doing anything as this dandy did fucking with the crew of the Enterprise. The costume is fun and very cheap-looking but that goes without saying when it comes to TOS. Sure wish they'd given him pants that matched though, 7/10.

Arena (1x18). If you don't like this costume then chances are you take TOS too seriously. Just look at it! This is camp, mama. His stiff plastic face, his lifeless eyes, his gratuitously buff body, that shiny little dress and fingerless leather gloves. Whoever they had wearing that thing in the blaring California sun was braver than any US marine. I love him, 100/10.

Court Martial (1x20) I'm into the 23rd century schoolgirl vibe of it all but this costume looks cheap even by TOS standards and something about the cut is very awkward. 4/10.

Also from Court Martial and man the costuming department was letting these ladies down. Areel is a classy broad but this dress is not it; it just kind of looks like a giant handkerchief. 5/10.

The Return of the Archons (1x21). Silly little outfit brigade reporting for duty! They look like they're in a school play 😭😭 Adorable with just a hint of dashing, 8/10.

A Taste of Armageddon (1x23). Someone needs to tell this man he's wearing a potato sack, though judging by his expression he already knows. 1/10.

These costumes are incredibly goofy but my favorite part is the background actors desperately clinging to their dignity, a battle that was lost the minute they put those hats on. 7/10.

i've never been more ready for anything in my life 😩

is this anything

Rating Star Trek TOS costumes because why not! (part 2)

Mudd's Women (1x06). Delightfully tacky and I love the audacity of wrapping the third one in a sparkly blanket while the other two get full pageant gowns. The green dress is my favorite, that cut-out is to die for. 8/10.

What Are Little Girls Made Of? (1x07). I'm sorry but that jumpsuit goes so hard. This is the peak of 60s retro futurism, both impractical as hell and also weirdly utilitarian in design. I don't care that it would 100% give you camel toe, I need two. 9/10.

The men this episode get similar outfits but 10x worse. Dr. Brown actually might be wearing the same jumpsuit as Andrea but the shirt underneath ruins it. Kirk's jumpsuit is boring af but I think we can all agree I needed to include that picture. 3/10.

The Conscience of the King (1x13). Lenore wears six different outfits this episode and they are all terrible. I know she kills like a dozen people but her crimes against fashion might be the worst of all.The fur mini-dress with the shiny tights takes the cake, absolutely unforgivable. 2/10.

Balance of Terror (1x14). Our first look at the Romulans and they're wearing what seem to be carpets. I do like the color-blocking moment (very Next Gen) and the silly helmets absolutely delight me, so all in all not as bad as it could be. 5/10.

Shore Leave (1x15). I remembered Ruth's dress as being very conservative but looking at it again it's really not. I can't even tell what I'm looking at, it's like a see-through caftan over a bodysuit maybe? The hair looks great, though. 6/10.

Also from Shore Leave, these are the most baffling costume choices in maybe all of TOS. They look like furry creamsicles. They look like they skinned and dyed a bunch of tribbles. They look like they're from the red light district of Sesame Street and also it's Easter. Note the matching bellybutton jewelry, perhaps the most inexplicable design detail of all. 10/10, I can't help but stan.

Rating Star Trek TOS uniforms because why not!

Pilot uniforms. Pajama ass looking outfits. They look cozy but a little too cozy to be exploring the galaxy in; the underboob sweat must be ungodly. Points also deducted for Spock's TERF bangs, 4/10.

Second pilot uniforms. They look just like the first but somehow even worse. The science division doesn't even get its own color! 3/10.

TOS classic uniform. Now we're talking! The women no longer get to wear pants but honestly I think it's the men who are missing out on the miniskirts. The fabric looks light and breathable and each division now gets its own color. Those fruity little heeled boots complete the look, 9/10.

Red gym tights. They are red, they are tight, and they do not come with a matching shirt. Simple yet delightful, 8/10.

Green wraparound Captain's shirt. She's an icon, she's a legend, and she is the moment. Perfect for when Kirk is feeling a little slutty or wants to set himself apart from his evil twin, 10/10.

Mirrorverse uniforms. Slutty and tacky, the perfect outfits for going out on Friday night or maybe figure skating in the Olympics. Not giving the guys crop tops was a coward move but I do appreciate Kirk's v-neck vest, 9/10.

Dress uniforms. They look so cute in their fancy little outfits! The golden accents and arts-and-crafts "badges" really tickle me but the uncomfortable looking high collars drag it down a bit, 7/10

as much as i hate ally sheedy's makeover in the breakfast club, i kind of like the scene where it's happening. i can't help it, i am predisposed to love any scene of one person doing the other's makeup.

it's about the quiet intimacy of it, the unspoken trust allison places in claire by letting her do this. it's "why are you being so nice to me?" and "because you're letting me"