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Fish.

@perkythehalf-asleeptarsier

|| perky || @ricekirpsees || tote bag ||

“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?

You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!

You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!

You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.

And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie

this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.

This is the speech. Write it on every goddamn wall out there.

We need to go back to using sailing ships full time like immediately. Yes it would take longer to get places but the Aesthetic is unmatched

Like there is nothing sexier hthan this

Can’t wait for OP to get scurvy

Are you under the impression that the ships themselves are what caused scurvy

Once again. Do you think this is the fault of the ships themselves

Kinda fucked up and nasty how vampires drink blood, imo. Like. Pepsi costs a dollar seventy five

Hospital

Not me I’m paying a dollar seventy five. At the hospital

I feel like we’re getting off topic

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So is pepsi if you steal it?

Because it’s only a dollar seventy five

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Why in God's name would a vampire drink pepsi

Why would anyone drink Pepsi?

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Huh?

That’s why I’m not a fan of the sexy vampire trope.

1. It’s overused and supports the current status quote of typical vampire supremacy:worshiping rich folk.

2. Vampires prey upon humans and therefore symbolize capitalists preying on the working class.

3. Werewolves are much sexier imo.

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am I having a stroke????

you might want to go to the hospital then

I hear the Pepsi is cheaper there

Using tumblr is like living in a low class apartment building. You just get used to the landlord not fixing things, and then someone new moves in and you’re helpfully like “oh yeah don’t drink the tap water, it’s got stuff in it that makes you sick” and then your neighbor you’ve had forever goes “oh they took the stuff out actually” and you’re like “what? when was this?”

“like two years ago”

“you mean i could’ve been drinking the tap water all this time?”

“yeah. they gave us individual mailboxes too finally, you don’t have to dig through the communal bin anymore”

“are you for real right now?? i just redirected my mail, i didnt know”

and the new tennant is like “why did you guys even live here if it was so bad”

“we like it.”

“I kinda miss the communal mail bin tho”

“the perpetually naked guy got evicted though”

“i know, so sad. he was really gross”

“i mean, his cousin streaks through the commons sometimes and knocks on all the doors”

“oh yeah, hate that guy”

New Person: I just saw this weird guy in the lobby in a really creepy anthropomorphic Pikachu costume??????

Old Resident: yeah we have no idea where that guy came from. We’ve left messages with maintenance ‘bout ‘im but-

Other Old Resident: just don’t make eye contact and you should be fine.

“what are these strange markings in the paint?”

“Oh! Thats from the crab infestation!”

“The crab infestation?! Wow, glad they got that under control before I moved in.”

“Oh, no no, it was an intentional infestation.”

“Uh….”

“Yeah, we’re hoping they bring the crabs back next year. A lot of us made friends with those crabs.”

No, I’m not joking, he doesnt just look like him, I swear to God neil gaiman lives across the hall.

The apartment building throws holiday parties but not typical parties like for Christmas or Valentine’s day

Knives are decorating the walls for the Ides Of March.

There’s a community movie night held on October 3rd where tenants choose to watch either Mean Girls or binge watch all of Fullmetal Alchemist.

Every single apartment opens their windows and blasts Earth, Wind, and Fire on the 21st of September

November 5th rolls around and the entire building just erupts into inexplicable chaos

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“What’s with the floor?”

“Color theory. Don’t worry about it.”

“Why is the cemetery across the street partially dug up?”

“Ah, yeah, there was a problem with grave robbing witches a while back.”

“Why do you do [totally normal thing] this way?” “Oh, [totally confusing and illogical system] is how we’ve always done it. “You think we call it a Hellsite for fun?”

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US Helplines:

  • Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
  • Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
  • LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
  • Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
  • Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
  • Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
  • Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
  • Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
  • Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
  • Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
  • Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

  • Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org
  • Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
  • Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk
  • Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk
  • b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk
  • b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
  • Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk
  • Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
  • Drinkline: 0800 9178282
  • Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk
  • Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
  • India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614
  • India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669
  • Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868

FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:

  • Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430
  • Australia: 13-11-14
  • Austria: 01-713-3374
  • Barbados: 429-9999
  • Belgium: 106
  • Botswana: 391-1270
  • Brazil: 21-233-9191
  • China: 852-2382-0000
  • (Hong Kong: 2389-2222)
  • Costa Rica: 606-253-5439
  • Croatia: 01-4833-888
  • Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67
  • Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908
  • Denmark: 70-201-201
  • Egypt: 762-1602
  • Estonia: 6-558-088
  • Finland: 040-5032199
  • France: 01-45-39-4000
  • Germany: 0800-181-0721
  • Greece: 1018
  • Guatemala: 502-234-1239
  • Holland: 0900-0767
  • Honduras: 504-237-3623
  • Hungary: 06-80-820-111
  • Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90
  • Israel: 09-8892333
  • Italy: 06-705-4444
  • Japan: 3-5286-9090
  • Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292
  • Malaysia: 03-756-8144
  • (Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)
  • Mexico: 525-510-2550
  • Netherlands: 0900-0767
  • New Zealand: 4-473-9739
  • New Guinea: 675-326-0011
  • Nicaragua: 505-268-6171
  • Norway: 47-815-33-300
  • Philippines: 02-896-9191
  • Poland: 52-70-000
  • Portugal: 239-72-10-10
  • Russia: 8-20-222-82-10
  • Spain: 91-459-00-50
  • South Africa: 0861-322-322
  • South Korea: 2-715-8600
  • Sweden: 031-711-2400
  • Switzerland: 143
  • Taiwan: 0800-788-995
  • Thailand: 02-249-9977
  • Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800
  • Ukraine: 0487-327715

ALWAYS REBLOG WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS PLEASE; ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO SOMEBODY AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT SEE THIS IN THE SAME LIGHT, SOMEONE MIGHT. INFACT YOU REBLOGGING THIS COULD STOP SOMEONE TAKING THEIR LIFE TONIGHT.

I noticed there isn’t one here for Ireland, so

Irish free suicide helpline: 01-116 123

last time i reblogged this, i got this ask:

so please, please reblog. this could actually save a life.

keep yourselves safe!