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“Don’t we deserve better than that?”

@peridots-dorito

21 | He/Him | Trans | Tagged spoilers | Anons welcome | Weiss’ number 1 fanboy! | Ao3; BlakeYousoro | Normal about bumbleby, NND + white rose :) | Trailblazer Trio <3
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No gay has all 5:

- A job

- Good relationship with father

- Neurotypical brain

- Ability to top

- Driver’s license

this is a fun post because people will say how many they have in the tags then you get to figure out which ones.

clara oswald + “high infidelity” by taylor swift

“he is the closest person to me in this whole world. he is the man i will always forgive, always trust. the one man i would never, ever lie to.”

Doctor Who Midnight goes SO hard it’s insane. We get to have an episode where Ten (who is shown to rely on gadgets, companions, sonic screwdriver, etc. quite a bit) has nothing that can help him. He has no gadgets, no companion, no TARDIS. His sonic screwdriver is useless, there are no miraculous escape routes, and he’s already used his psychic paper. Even his charisma fails him in the end. He is truly in a hopeless situation that he cannot get himself out of and he realizes that.

The episode is also elevated to an entirely different level by the micro expressions that David Tennant completely NAILS in the episode especially near the end. He barely moves but you can tell Ten is absolutely terrified, that Ten realizes this might be it. He might actually die this time. And after that, when he finally gets back to the resort, not only does Donna immediately realize something is wrong and they have that wonderful hug, but he also trusts and is close enough with her to immediately tell her what happened. That little scene is such a good look into how deep their relationship is. And the cherry on top? When Donna repeats what Ten just said and he repeatedly says don’t (very seriously too I might add) which just drives home how absolutely terrifying this experience was for Ten.

i love my therapist but i hate being in therapy. 10 minutes before my appointment, i’m in a meeting with my boss - we discuss my artistic choices; my boss recommends i artistically choose less. 10 minutes after therapy, i wash my hair and think about everything that was said, and then i have to switch it off, like a lamp, and go back to work again.

i was on a walk the other day and someone had the perfect combination of his cologne and whatever-else. it was almost exactly his scent. i fucking hate that. after all these years, i remember that? i tell my therapist - i feel like a fucking wolf. try telling a middle-aged blonde lady. oh i scented him on the air. i’m 30, and i’m having a panic attack over something that would be a plotline in the omegaverse.

what they don’t tell you about mental illness is that if you are lucky enough to survive it into adulthood; it becomes a weird slice of your life. because you do, eventually, have to build a life. i realized in a panic somewhere around 22 - oh. i don’t know what i’m fucking doing, because i always assumed i’d just go ahead and die. i didn’t die, and i’m grateful for that, and i’m very happy about that choice. but it does mean that i am an adult in an apartment, living with my conditions side-by-side like. oh, that’s my roommate, adhd. ignore the glass, bytheway, that’s ocd.

so you pick your stupid life up by the scruff of the neck and you’re, like glad for it (so much laughter and light and friends you would have never thought possible, when you were in the worst of it). but it feels so strange to be dancing around these odd little microcosms, these patchwork moments of your symptoms. if you have a panic attack at night, you still need to wake up and walk the dog in the morning. if your depression is making everything boring, well, you don’t have any sick days left, and a job’s not really supposed to be that exciting anyway. your ocd tears out each individual leg hair, and then, an hour later, you sigh, patch up the bloody bits, and go get dinner with friends. and the life is kitten-quiet, mewling and pathetic, but it’s also like - it’s yours, so you’re fond of it.

and it’s like - you’re real. so you still enjoy pushing the shopping cart really fast and then riding on the back of it down an empty aisle. and you’re not, like, so sick anymore that when you accidentally drop a mug you burst into tears (except for the days you do that. which are bad). and no, you’re not allowed around certain items anymore. oops! but you’ve learned to be good about brushing your teeth most days of the week. and yeah sometimes in the middle of the day you have a little freak-out about how fucking unfair it all is, how fucking hard, how other people can just do this without having to fucking hurt the whole time. and then you sigh and force yourself to sit down and fucking journal about it so you can tell the nice middle-aged blonde woman yeah i had a hard day but i practiced grounding. you still sometimes want to burst out of your own skin, but you force yourself to eat kind-of healthy and to take your vitamins. you let yourself chop off all your hair in the sink in a dramatic poetry of control and relief - and you also have developed good hobbies that help you move your body more frequently. you feel helplessly behind, lost in the shuffle - but you also practice gratitude, taking stock of what you have garnered. because you’re trying. even if you’re never gonna be normal, you have something… close enough.

and the little kitten of your life, this mangy, starlit tigercub, this thing you expected to rot so young: in your arms, it turns itself over, belly-up. exposing this new soft part, all the organs and guts. like it’s saying i trust you now. you won’t give me up.

even now i have always thought it was a shame that maria, clyde & alan weren't in the stolen earth / journey's end with sarah jane, luke & mr. smith. i just know that maria would have loved meeting the doctor & probably would have been low-key having the time of her life saving the world on such a scale. clyde would have give us the most legendary lines & absolutely would have ended the daleks & davros entire career with roasts that they never would have recovered from. also maria's dad would probably have been hit on by jack whilst also being the first human in history to upload a computer virus to a dalek all the while ✨panicking✨ & fearing for the safety of everyone like the ultimate tv dad he was.

when jack says "i gotta go. i gotta find the doctor. i'll come back. i'm coming back" and gwen and ianto just look at him with doubt and sadness and some other emotion on their faces and go "don't worry about us. just go." "we'll be fine". remembering when he left them for those two or so months. when he left them with no warning and no explanation and no evidence that he would come back. remembering when he left them for the exact same reason that he's leaving them now.

You guys think about how in his sadness and guilt it may have slipped The Doctor's mind to let others know Donna's memory of her time with him is gone?

You ever think that in Journey's End companions like Sarah and Jack met Donna and know her now?

Imagine if they bump into her on the street afterwards and are like excited to ask if she remembers them, how she is, what The Doctor is up to- and she just tells them to shove off, got no bloody clue what they're on about and as she runs off they think "Oh, this must be before she meets The Doctor in her time, oh whoops, we'l have a laugh about this next time we see her and The Doctor Haha"

What if Martha bumps into Donna again or rings her up cos they know each other better and greets her like a old mate; only for Donna to blow her off, thinking this is either a prank call or some rando she must have given her number to at a night out she's forgotten and Martha feels her heart drop cos she must know something is wrong.

What if she tries to befriend Donna all over again and gently try to gauge what's happened to her without blurting out talk about Daleks and Time Machines and they meet every now and then at a cafe for some gossip, Donna just going along with it thinking it would be a laugh to meet up with a stranger she forgot on a bender.

Maybe every now and then after a shared giggle, a far away look comes to her face, and she could have sworn that deep down she really did know Martha, somewhere, sometime else.

there will never ever ever be a scene more iconic than harriet jones confronting the daleks in stolen earth and introducing herself in her typical way only for the daleks to respond "yes, we know who you are"

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rewatching stolen earth and noticed the fact that gwen was just sitting there like pensive and shit. it was really jarring to me cos i was like “the world is literally ending like can she be more upset about it??” and then i realized she literally did not understand what the the daleks were. she’d never come into contact with one. jack had literally been killed by one so obviously he was shutting down and ianto was at the fall of torchwood 1 so he’d seen them too (to an extent) and it would also make sense that he’s totally freaking the fuck out. but gwen had no idea, the most unsettling thing to her must have been this imminent danger, being away from rhys and mostly watching her 2 close friends who had always been rlly composed even when things were going to shit totally fall to pieces. and i feel like thats more haunting than anything.

Character dynamic: just two fucking freaks that are somehow exactly on the same page because of their weirdness. the things they do to each other are insane but they’re both perfectly happy and it’s all consensual. Are they friends? Dating? In a weird mutual parasocial attachment to each other? Who’s to say?