so for nanowrimo this year i decided to not write a novel but instead write a screenplay for my dream project, A MUPPET ODYSSEY, which is homer’s odyssey but it’s muppets, a la muppet christmas carol. i didn’t finish it :( but here’s some of it.

that’s from the teaser. this is the first scene:

odysseus makes it to the castle in phaeacia:

thanks for reading a muppet odyssey. if you enjoyed please hit that subscribe button and petition disney to let me write a muppet odyssey

thank you everyone for your kind response to a muppet odyssey. if i can muster the energy i’d love to finish it and pop a full script online for your viewing pleasure. alternatively, if anyone on tumblr works for the muppets studio please reach out to my agent (it’s just me in a hat).

some choice tags:

@yourfaveisamuppet​ you are a fucking genius.

@pyrite​ i did ultimately end up casting miss piggy as circe! i and some folks on twitter toyed with the idea of all the men on circe’s island being muppet pigs originally who she then turned into human people as punishment.

 some more choice tags

@jmbeaubier​ seeing my muppetry analysed in this way has filled me with a joy beyond human comprehension. thank you.

@whydocowsfall​ (late response im sorry) so fun fact the 1997 odyssey miniseries actually featured special effects by the jim henson creature shop, and they created polyphemus! so i’m thinking major monsters like polyphemus will be special muppets, like the ghosts in muppet christmas carol, new designs just for the film. as funny as it would be to have polyphemus be like fozzie or something i think it would be genuinely epic to utilise the full hypothetical power of the jim henson company in this hypothetical universe where disney doesn’t snipe me into a little grease spot immediately for even considering touching their property.

to everybody who said they would love to read this / watch it / would pay money to read or watch it: i love you and stay tuned because i would love to finish this script and make it available to read. to everyone who said they wanted to show this to their classics professors please tell me what they think i would love to know.

more casting thoughts

more other thoughts

Water biscuits

Painting a mirror at Pingjiang Road in Suzhou, Jiangsu province, China

This is the best way to start my new year.

You should turn the sound on because this dude is delivering a piping hot version of "What's going on?" and it is wonderful.

🎶 John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

His name is my deadname

He swapped names with Pippilotta Viktualia Rullgardina Krusmynta Efraimsdotter Långstrump when she transitioned, it was very sweet.

unrequited love for siblings is the saddest thing you could ever portray on its own but over the garden wall said what if the kid is like the sweetest most kindhearted five year old you could imagine and he loves his brooding wistful bitch of an older brother sooo so much and enough to offer up his life in exchange for his brothers when his older brother saw him this whole time as just an annoying step sibling at best and a nuisance at worst and you cant be too mad cause hes also a kid and then when he finally figures it all out it saves them both, the decision to leave lethargy and the rot of melancholy behind and take the love he already has as proof the world is worth it after all and aaa a a. aaaaaa. aaaaaaa. aaa. what a sweet story. what a lovely thing.

ctrl alt del... the three sisters

So…roughly three months ago my mother was trying to order a painting for her office space of a New Orleans street view

She picked out a print of pointillism style painting, nice bright colors, appealing to the eye sort of thing.

It arrives only for her to find that it’s not a painting, but rather a mosaic-by-number kit with ~75,000 pieces. Her eyes are bad enough that she can’t really put it together herself and my fathers hands aren’t steady enough to get the tiles facing the right way. So, for the past two weeks I’ve been putting them down one by one so that she can have a nice mosaic for her office wall instead.

I’m roughly 25-30% done:

5/19 update

5/23

5/27

Almost 50% done!!

Stepped away for a bit, but back at it! 9/25 update

10/15

Took a break for a while but here’s the 3/5 update!

ITS COMPLETED!

5/6/2023

i'm genuinely curious after seeing a post about it so

I'm really glad I included the different degrees of certainty because there's something really interesting going on with the results which has remained pretty steady since I posted this, though there's obviously not enough votes to draw any sweeping conclusions yet

cooking my husband a delicious and nutricious breakfast consisting of lead pipes and

e

idont remmeber what the rest of the post was going to say. use your impregnation i dont care

you get what i mean.

$0

My 90yr old Irish Catholic grandpa doesn’t miss with my gender. He’s never gotten my name wrong, or my pronouns, never even faltered over it.

It’s all so natural too: son, big man, young man…

We’ve never talked about it. He’s the only one who hasn’t pushed for details. He just accepted it and carried on because it’s not a huge deal.

It’s so comforting.

My dear that’s called Alzheimer’s

I wasn’t going to respond to this, I looked at your blog. Your irrational hatred and bile directed towards trans people is palpable and pathetic. This was intended to upset me. 

But I now have a chance to talk about who my grandfather is. 

You see, I find it interesting that you claim the only way my 90yr old grandfather could possibly be so accepting is if he was dying of one of the most horrible diseases known to man, a condition which eats your brain from the inside out and turns you in an angry, scared shell of the child you once were while your family has to grieve you long before you’re dead. 

You find it easier - and evidently prefer - to believe that to accept me, my grandfather must have Alzheimer’s rather than any other reason. 

Why is that easier to believe than a man who lived through (not was born during, not was around for, lived through) the Second World War and the aftermath, seeing footage of the concentration camps and meeting refugees would be accepting? 

A poor builder and a farmer who worked alongside queer men and deaf men and the few people of colour in Northern Ireland in the 1950s and was himself barred from many places of employment and education due to his religion?

This man, whose oldest son was born the year the British army began occupying his country, who lived through the Troubles and was automatically considered suspicious and dangerous through an incident of birth? A man who helped raise six children - most of them boys and therefore in great danger of the army turning their guns on them for playing kid-games - in a time of civil war where it didn’t seem to matter which side you were on, the bombs and shootings could get you either way? A man who once was taken hostage by the IRA? 

My grandfather’s oldest son - my dad - was the first in his family to go to university and there he met and fell in love with a Protestant woman. This was before the Good Friday Agreement, when the civil war was still happening, and if my grandparents had a problem with it - they never let said to my mum. 

(My grandpa and my mum don’t really get along, but that’s more to do with me being a premature baby and tensions over my survival and disagreements on how to look after me. My mum and my Nana? Thick as thieves.) 

They certainly never let it slip to us when we came along because it wasn’t important anymore that we were something many people in Northern Ireland would have preferred to not exist. It didn’t matter. 

He voted in the Good Friday Agreement in hopes of stopping the conflict. He spent a lot of time listening to me about the bullying I was facing for being - unbeknownst to me at the time - queer and disabled. He just told me that being happy was far more important. 

Being trans? It does not matter. Of course it doesn’t matter to him because he’s seen worse things in the world. 

He’s ninety years old. He’s still out on the farm, he’s still studying history, he’s still sharp as fuck. I’ve seen someone die of Alzheimer's. I know every bit of it and it’s not him. Besides, I’ve not medically transitioned in anyway yet. He’s only seen me presenting fully masc for six days in person. Two years in total. If he had Alzheimer’s he’d be calling me by my deadname and using she/her. 

And he’s not unusual. Outside of your echo chamber, most people are fine with trans people. Most people don’t care. Most people are accepting. They may not understand, they may not use the right words, but they’re accepting. 

I do find it interesting that once again the TERF tactic is try and wrestle autonomy and self-control away from people who don’t follow your bigoted stances. Autistics must be being manipulated. Trans men are clearly confused little girls. Children obviously can’t understand their own minds and bodies. 

My grandfather must have Alzheimer's. 

Of course my view of a world I’ve seen in a Tumblr textpost must be more correct than the reality everyone else lives in. 

Have the day you deserve. 

honestly the human brain is so small that you *will* forget how much beauty there is out there to experience unless you leave your house every three days. ik its fucked up but i promise its true

my brain, trying to deceive me: there's literally nothing outside!!!!! it's the same neighborhood it's always been !!!!!

me, tying my shoes: shut up shut up!!!! by god we're gonna try to find magic in mundane today !!!!

Scientist bakes sourdough bread with yeast derived from 4500 year old Egyptian pottery

i'm losing my mind @ this thread......historie......

also please note that this scientist is in fact the retired man who invented the xbox.

oh fuck i listened to a podcast that was interviewing him and the process he went through to make this bread, ologies with allie ward like he went through full on clean room levels of prep to ensure that this was 100% yeast from old egypt and had to bend over backwards to ensure everything involved was uncontaminated he then revealed that the original xbox logo...

is a sourdough boule

favorites

i completed my drawing :>

pen & markers

all (most) of your flying friends from hollow knight!

Sorry I can't come in to work today. Its a holiday

hmmm

Place: the Forest of Salami

immediate first thought:

second thought:

oh shit right my stepdad