There is NO reason this should be so fucking funny

I’ve seen this before but I still like it so much that I held my phone in front of my dog so she could see it.

The black swallower is a fish that has an expandable stomach, allowing it to eat prey larger than itself. A similar phenomenon happens to me when I encounter garlic bread.

Same vibes

Nurse: "Your sturgeon will be in shortly"

Patient: "You mean my surgeon?"

Nurse: "No."

*an 800 pound fish flops into the room, thrashing violently on the linoleum and knocking medical equipment to the floor*

WHY

these people are so far divorced from the best interests of humanity it’s insane

An intruder breaks into my home and tries to use my smart toilet but they fail the anal print scan which switches the smart toilet into attack mode

its labor day post mpreg karl marx

What political statement is this even meant to convey

I tell dad jokes but I have no kids.

I’m a faux pa.

This post gave me a stroke

BIG FUCKING

WHAP

My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.

Oh bother.

im deleting this fucking website

It took me a minute

Gotdamn I haven’t seen this post in almost a decade

This linguistic problem is only going to continue getting worse unless we fuck it in the ass now.

I’m

Absolute. Peak. Millennial. Humor.

its time for the tantrum hole

it’s easter

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a g**damn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous 

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

happy good friday everybody