today's agenda

screaming into the abyss (2 snack breaks)

Restroom air dryers are a great way to warm your hands before wiping them on your jeans

have i ever told y’all the story about how a snake knew I was trans years before I did

okay so

my 7th grade social studies/8th grade science teacher (he did both classes. Somehow…) had a snake lovingly named Hisser. Hisser would occasionally be taken out to crawl and he was held by kids and when there were fire alarms Hisser was taken along, usually to his chagrin. 

This was one of those days where we had in class work time and most of us were just chilling and so Mr. A got Hisser out and started passing him around.

Every girl student that he came to, he would immediately snuggle up to, wrap around their arms, and get cozy. With boy students, he would just sort of sit in the coiled lump that he’d been handed in. This was true with just about every single student, and Mr. A said that Hisser likes girls a lot better than guys and this has been thoroughly proven by Hisser’s attitude.

Then Hisser was handed to me. He was a loveable cold scaley rope as you would expect, but he didn’t coil around my arms. He didn’t get cozy. He just sat there. And Mr. Anderson said, “Huh. That’s weird. He usually likes girls.” 

I passed the snake to my friend and surely enough, Hisser wrapped around her arms and got cozy. 

I came out as a trans guy about 7-8 years later, and just recently realized that Hisser was right about me not being a girl all along. 

I’ve also decided that whenever anyone asks me “Why I think I’m a boy,” which is my LEAST favorite question ever, I’ll just tell them that a snake told me a long time ago. 

That snake is like a Sorting Hat for trans people

The only true ally

i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, “go ahead and take one, bitch.”

he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes “what did you just say? how do you know my name?” so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, “…. bitch?” and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.

i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says “go ahead and take one, mitch.” im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show

she weaponized her gag gift im crying

one time a stranger on neopets years ago told me “school makes you think you have to be good at everything but sometimes it’s ok to just be good at one thing. even if it’s not something you get a grade for. they don’t grade you for being a good person” and tbh i still think about it little did i know all i needed this whole time was in glowing purple text and that icon of the goth fairy

Little teddy bear

Chocolate Banana Muffins

Excuse me while I spend my day being miserable because my Hogwarts letter still hasn’t arrived

Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure…

When you throw out the packaging of a microwave dinner and immediately forget how long to microwave it for

I just tried to look up H.P. Lovecraft because I wanted to learn about his racism and

WHAT HERO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS

KFKSJFKDKKCKSS

“it’s what’s inside that makes you beautiful”

*the demon possessing my body blushes*

I made dis

this is perfect