on this episode of "is it a cyst inside my spine or is it just a fucked huge pimple" - we find out wether my life will be cut short by natural means, or unnatural means
i cannot stop fucking thinking about the phrase "fumbled a BBW"
has not left my lexicon since i saw it a week ago
they killed him for this
trying to outsmoke a gnome by the creek but he keeps managing to distract me with his rosy cheeks and playful demeanor
i know it’s pretty stiff competition but I’d REALLY like to nominate Stygiomedusa gigantea as a hot contender for “most fucked up thing to blindly brush up against while swimming in the abyss”
I lost a great friend today, Solomon Seelhoff-Lindsey aka Apistat Commander (formerly Cuddly One). If you’re not familiar with his work, it’s on Bandcamp and Apple Music, I think Spotify as well. He was an incredible musician and a great man, possessing a quiet kindness the world would do well to see more of. It has always been an honor to share a stage with him, and I still haven’t fully processed the idea that I won’t get to again. This morning has been tears that come without warning and linger past their welcome, but Sol has always inspired me to be a better artist, and once the cruelest parts of loss abate, I hope to make him proud of my work and how he’s influenced it.
And if your ass can't double jump then what the fuck are you doing at the gay boy Olympics
from what i know of Big Birds, this is a common occurrence
I think this prof that Americans could’ve won the Emu war
*deep breath*
*let it out*
*start my daily affirmation*
I am refusing to engage. I will not engage. People are allowed to be wrong on the internet, even about their predicted efficacy in the emu war.
IF you can spare the spoons, please tell me about the emu war. I have not been paying attention and saw it as a joke but apparently it’s a real thing and I am now very curious.
The cliff notes:
- Awhile ago, Australia wanted to cull the emu population. This sort of thing happens a lot. Colonising Australia involved trying to recreate England in one of the most unique large-scale ecologies and climates in the world, which was largely unsuccessful, and ever since, Australian land management has been a plate spinning act. The responsibility and necessity of these culls is... variable. Some of them are a good idea, some of them are a terrible idea.
- We didn’t know much about emus yet. For some reason, it was decided to make this a military operation, rather than the usual methods of a farming/fishing operation or biowarfare (we get desperate sometimes). Australia deployed a few soldiers with machine guns and “declared war”, kind of like America’s War on Terror and War on Drugs.
- Due to some quirks in their biology and behaviour, emus turned out to be strangely immune to machine gun fire. These dudes would roll up with these infantry-destroying weapons, let loose, and kill like, three emus while a hundred got away.
- Compared to the efficiency of a usual cull, this is embarrassing.
- Australia spent an absurd amount of money on the ‘emu war’ and just wasn’t getting decent returns on the investment. The project was declared unsuccessful and terminated. We ‘surrendered’ to the emus.
- Now foreigners make fun of us for losing a war to birds.
- We deserve it. There are sensible ways to manage a cull and none of them involve the unrestrained use of machine guns.
TIL emus are resilient to machine gun fire. That explains basically everything you need to know about the emu war.
Major Meredith was quoted as saying: "If we had a military division with the bullet-carrying capacity of these birds it would face any army in the world. They could face machine guns with the invulnerability of tanks. They are like Zulus...."
Less than a week after the "Emu War" had begun the Defence Minister of the day, George Pearce, ordered a withdrawal. The action prompted debate in the House of Representatives, which included the following comments:
Mr Thorby (NSW): "Who is responsible for the farce of hunting emus with machine guns mounted on lorries? Is the Defence Department meeting the cost? Prime Minister Lyons: "I have been told the Defence Department will not be paying the bill." Mr James (NSW): "Is a medal to be struck for this war?"
"A movie retelling of the events, written by John Cleese, Monty Franklin, and Rob Schneider, is slated for release in 2022."
Unit Name: Deli Clerk
Unit Cost: 350 Coins and 100 Coupons
Required Research: Food Safety Level 2, Minor Maintenance, Simple tools, The Art of the Scale, Aspect of the Monkey
Speed: Medium
Strength: Medium
Crowd Control: Very High
Voice Lines
Clicked on:
-What can I do for ya?
-*bell ding* I’ll be right with ya!
-We know our meat!
-*animation of him handing you a slice of cheese*
Affirmation:
-Yes, sir!
-I’ll get a cuttin!
-Hope it’ll be thick enough for you!
-Guess my breaks over! *loud handwashing noises*
Error Messages:
-There’s not enough meat!
-There’s not enough cheese!
-I gotta wash my hands first!
-We need more cheese.
-I need gloves!
-I’m going to need some more cheese before I do that.
-We must fix the scale before weighing some meat!
-You’re going to need to order some more cheese
-That’s illegal.
-I would love to, but I’m going to need some more cheese before I do that.
Attacking:
-Is this thick enough, honey?
-Anything else?
-*animation of him handing you some cheese*
-Are you a fan of Miracle Whip, because you’ll love this Granny Smith salad!
Death:
- (noise)
The two tracks werent synced right and it sounds like everything’s gone to shit at MTT Resort
Found this digging through my tags, though you might like it.
women be shopping. nonbinaries be eating oysters. what do men do
see a mouse and eat it
i clench my fist and beat it
i punch my balls and weeping
i am the beast i worship
this is an artistic rendition of my irrational fear of a head that attacks only under the cover of the very loud toilet flush in the scary top floor bathroom at the hospital and how i exited the bathroom when i decided to flush and run as opposed to my normal method of flushing and putting my back to a wall
took pics today at work to show common attack patterns and defense strategies that i employ
Streaming Service Rant
chemychems
You could make this shorter by just going “I’m a thief and refuse to pay for content”. Would save you a lot of time.
I’m a thief and refuse to pay for content and i encourage everyone else to do the same! Don’t be a little bitch like chemychems and jump aboard the ship, matey!
I Am Once Again Posting Web Lonks
https://soap2day.to/ tv + movies
https://twist.moe/ anime
http://mangakatana.com/ manga
https://libgen.is/ books (includes textbooks!)
current mood: that tf2 video of the demoman that misses all 8 stickies, all 4 grenades and all melee swings, his entire team dies, and he waltzes onto the point to win the round
stamda
