*INCREDIBLY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER*

obviously it's the wildlife wrestling federation.

Everyone at the farmers market wishes to know me carnally

everyone riding the train today got 250 xp after a level 32 dracula wandered onto the tracks

Bumblebee!

(gets 0 notes on a post i made five seconds ago) sigh.... i see how it's.... (walks into the dark scary forest)

no but for real no weapon formed against me shall prosper, LOL!

Well this a normal gun. We didn’t make it to specifically kill you or anything

despite it all im glad i get to live in a world with weird faggots. at least we have each other.

BORN TO FORGET

WORLD IS A BLUR

I Am Memory Issues Man

410,757,864,530 FORGOTTEN PRECIOUS MEMORIES

Toddler Learning to Talk Pros & Cons

pro: hearing new sentences in the smallest sweetest voice you could ever imagine is just such a serotonin hit.

con: every time I leave the immediate vicinity she screams “MOMMY YOU WEE WEEIN?” at the top of her lungs. I have no idea why she thinks I’m constantly pissing.

pro: she’s learning animals! It’s so amazing to see a tiny human learn new things and then tell you about those things with so much beautiful enthusiasm

con: she’s terrible at rs and gs so she is frog hopping around the house yelling “FUCK FUCK IM A FUCK” as loud as she can

pro: she is tall enough to reach some counters and is starting to want to HELP with things. She’s recognizing that doing things together is an act of love and she loves her family. Seeing a human you made realize what LOVE is is just awe inspiring.

con: she is tall enough to reach some counters and helping means all of my shoes go in the sink. Can’t find my shoes? Check the sink.

favorite pokemon conceptually are the ones counted as a single entity but are just clearly like, more than one guy just hanging out.

I think it’s pretty common knowledge by now. John Harvey Kellog, creator of the Kellogs brand of cereal, strongly believed eating cereal every day would surpress a person’s libido and make them not want to masturbate. However he could not predict one major factor that would undo all his work

It’s like that mafia crew that made a pizza joint as a front but their pizza was so good they just went legit

You shouldn’t date or become serious friends/partners with someone if you can’t stomach the thought of being stuck in a car or train with them for 16 hours.

Here’s my logic:

These tags are hilarious even though I don’t think you intended them to be.

*pulls European closer* The most populous countries in the world are China, India, the United States, Indonesia, Pakistan, Nigeria, and Brazil in that order, with these seven nations alone making up 48.16% of the world population. You may note with the aid of a map that many of these nations are quite large, and would take several days of travel to go across either in cars or on boats. Almost half of the world's population lives in places where you can travel in a cramped vehicle for days and still be within the country. Your worldview is limited and Europe is a tiny outlier in travel time and standards for international relations.

This is true, hilarious, and really makes me want to take a road trip with my friends.

"some of you are miserable because you're mean" post except its "some of you are miserable because you only look at and talk about stuff you dislike"

"why don't i have any friends" because you only know how to bitch about stuff and be a hater

This is akin all those hot takes about the 2k bug being an hoax:

"Remember when they told us every computer was going to crash on 1/1/01 and there would be chaos and then nothing happened?"

Yeah, I remember. And I'm sure every programmer and sysadmin that contributed the billion person/hour global effort to prevent it also remembers.

No one talks about acid rain anymore, either. And that's a very good thing.

see also START and START II, which significantly reduced nuclear stockpiles

International cooperation is actually so effective that most people don’t even notice it happening, and then erroneously believe it can’t solve anything.

Fixing issues before they develop into actual disasters is such an underappreciated thing it hurts at all levels.

We don't talk about acid rain because there isn't any more acid rain because when acid rain started happening and we learned that the cause was mainly sulphur oxide and carbon monooxide from car exhausts, countries all over the world made it a law that car companies had to produce cars that produced less exhaust with better effectivenes (burning the fuel all the way to CO2 instead of the halfassed CO) and oil rafineries to remove the sulphur from the gasoline in the first place.

We don't talk about computers crashing because of the turn of the century, because thousands of programmers worked very hard to write updates and patches for Every Single Program humanity as a whole used back in 1999 and then somehow managed to failtest, distribute, and update every single device and system, be it an online or offline one before the midnight of the 1st january of 2000.

On a much smaller scale, no one ever commenta or notices cleaners and housekeepers doing their job - be it at home or at whole buildings - because they always make sure that there's nothing to notice. But don't be fooled - at any point of your life you are one week of them not doing away from swimming in trash and filth with nothing to eat and nothing clean to wear. Only then you would notice.

Now it's time to do that thing again and make sure that we don't kill our whole planetary ecosystem within the next century.

Coelacanth but it’s the size of a galaxy and it’s spots are stars. Imagine that. You’re welcome

behold, he is real

It's very possible that the only way to ensure you don't become a conservative old person is to keep checking whether you're wrong. Every time. Genuinely mull over the opposing viewpoint even and especially when it's uncomfortable. You absolutely cannot a) consider yourself safely incapable of terrible principles because you're a good person, or b) treat a your disgust reaction to something as a moral truth. You can't get comfortable. Tiring! But you'd rather be tired and choose the right path, you know?

The easiest way to land on the wrong side of history is by assuming you're not already there.

We have to do something about the distances

mmm soob