YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
How to tell a raven from a crow. Made with corvid researcher Dr. Kaeli Swift for her blog post on the subject!
These are all well and good (accurate and informative and also fun) but here’s the best way to tell the difference between the two:
Ravens are FUCKING huge.
The best advice I’ve heard about this is as follows:
If your thought is “wow, is that a Raven??” It’s a crow.
If your thought is “Holy shit is that a CAT?!” It’s a raven.
For those of us not using the superior form of measurements (fight me, I dare you), 1.5m = 4′10″, or 58 inches. A RAVEN’S WINGSPAN IS THE HEIGHT OF AN AVERAGE TEN-YEAR-OLD. I AM FIVE FEET TALL AND HAVE LONG ARMS, MY OWN WINGSPAN IS ONLY FOUR INCHES LONGER THAN THIS POETIC DEATH OMEN.
I need answers. Are mermaids kosher? What did your rabbi say???
As per my rabbi, mermaids are NOT kosher, due to the following:
1) If mermaids are like Ariel from The Little Mermaid, then they have human intelligence and free will. This makes them human (whatever King Triton might have to say on the subject), and thus eating one is committing murder, which is against halacha. (She could convert to Judaism, though!)
2) If mermaids are like the original little mermaid, then they have intelligence (possibly of human levels), but no souls and thus no free will. This means they are not human, but they appear human, and thus eating one is in violation of lifnei iver, which means “before the blind” and comes from the verse “do not place a stumbling block before the blind.” In other words: someone seeing you eat the mermaid may assume the mermaid is human, and thus that eating human is okay, and thus they may commit murder to eat human, which is against halacha.
3) Mermaids that do not fit the “human top, fish bottom” tradition of mermaids may not possess fins and/or scales, thus marking them as not kosher.
Thus: Mermaids are not kosher.
Big Jewish Mood
anarquista-shaita
Doesn’t point 2 imply that turkey bacon isn’t kosher
And here we see why Jewish arguments never end, folks. Because @anarquista-shaita just opened up a whooooole other can of worms and yep, there’s debate about this, too.
What if you just “figuratively ” want to eat the mermaid. Is it traif?
Do you mean in the French sense?
Wait, what if you eat turkey bacon, but you show everyone the package and leave it on the table so any onlookers may realise it isn’t pork? Is that kosher?
Found the rabbinic scholar, everybody 😂
OK BUT
what if i only eat the fish part of her?
people will see me and assume i’m just eating fish and i probably don’t have to kill her to eat the tail
How the good loving joyful fuck do you eat a mermaid tail without harming said mermaid
i never said it wouldn’t harm her, i said i wouldn’t have to kill her.
obviously cutting off her tail would harm her.
OH okay. So like…. starfish regeneration? How are we doing this? And if not, how do you harm her without causing her to bleed out and die?
That’s still treyf because for an animal to be kosher it has to be killed in a single stroke and can’t have any blemishes. You just introduced blemish and tore meat from a living animal, which is expressly prohibited.
Isn’t that one of the Noahide Laws? *checks* Yep. So within the context of this discussion “not tearing the flesh off a living animal and eating it” isn’t just forbidden to Jews, it’s the bare minimum expected from humanity in general.
So no eating live mermaids, unless metaphorically.
I have a Question and it’s based off of the Series (which has Mermaids in it) called Siren.
In Siren, their Mermaids, when they want to walk on land/adapt to land, can shed their tails and get legs and the tails look like they still have meat on it.
Would it be Kosher to eat the tail if you have permission from the Mermaid? Or even just the tail?
Please see the original point #1.
Wildly off topic but now I’m trying to figure out if it would be possible for a mermaid to observe Shabbat if they can’t light candles underwater.
For safety purposes, battery-powered lights are permitted on land, so I would think that bioluminescent algae could be used underwater in place of flame. And now I want someone to do art of a Jewish mermaid with a menorah; a lanternfish is the shamash...
tumblr meme culture is really just a form of neo dadaism
inrealityadream
I’d like to clarify:
dada was a largely european art movement that took place after wwi. this time and place is not a coincidence. let me explain.
dada art made no sense. the artists who made dada lived in a world in which nothing made sense - in which conventional logic led to the senselessness of a world war. so, making art that made no sense, making - well, you can’t really call it art, so making ANTI-art that rejected the conventions that brought about that atrocity in the first place - it made total sense. (if that makes any sense.)
so the artists did weird things. new things! putting things that were already made together and calling it sculpture, cutting up bits of pictures and putting them together and calling that something to frame - this site has some nice examples.
but from my perspective - there’s serious intellectual continuity between the absurdity of attaching a bunch of tacks to the bottom of an iron, rendering it useless, and say…. bath bomb posts. Put a fucking macbook in a bath. it’s useless now. Nobody fucking cares anymore. you want something funny? you want a punchline? gun. that’s your punchline. Take it. I am laughing
in a way it could be a method of venting some of the frustration and hopelessness and dissatisfaction that tumblr’s userbase (largely, disenfranchised millennials) feels in the modern day. I can’t really speak for anyone else, but… at least from a US perspective, there’s plenty to be disillusioned about. growing up in a constant state of questionably justified war, income inequality, an economic recession caused by the actions of a handful of wealthy fucks who didn’t even get properly punished, growing awareness of police brutality, being called lazy and self-absorbed by the generations that gave us these problems in the first place… I can’t help but think that these factors (and more) could produce a similar mindset to the one that precipitated the first dada movement.
so of COURSE we make nonsense jokes. it’s a coping mechanism for a world which doesn’t make any sense.
related: this isn’t by tumblr but I have to plug UCLA’s atrocity of a virtual gallery once more. it really needs to be experienced, but… it’s definitely also millennial neo dada. from the presentation (like an unplayable video game) to the content (THE DOGS HAVE ARRIVED), it is exactly what I am talking about. it is a fucking shitpost. and it’s high art, too! I love this
tl;dr: my generation is fed up with this bullshit, and the best way that we can express that is by shitposting. alternatively, dada was an early precursor to modern shitposting and we should all thank duchamp for signing a fucking urinal
inrealityadream
a dear friend has given a perfect update to some of my phrasing, courtesy of their word replace extension:
you see this? this is exactly what I’m fucking talking about. the thing that I’m talking about is:
leftclausewitz
I’d also say that while Dadaism was obsessed with the technological aspects of Modernity, of newspapers, of industrial mechanics and factory made clocks, neo-dadaism (of which shitposting but also the increasingly broad reach of the New Aesthetic and net aesthetics) is obsessed with the technological aspects of our time, or at the beginning of our time.
As just a comparison, the Clock in Absurdist and Dadaist art is both a symbol of the uplifting beginning of industrial relations (as one of the first complicated machines made by manufacturers, as the symbol of mankind’s ability to triumph and analyze nature and better ourselves) and as the deified symbol of horrific modernity (of demarcated time, labor hours, the oppression of the working class via managerial time), Neo-Dadaism/Absurdism has a similar relationship with early computers, which both symbolizes the utopian attitudes which we entered the digital age with, and the horrifying period we live in now, where the Digital is ever present and semi-deified.
stormingtheivory
My favorite dada satire is probably from Georges Grosz who takes the kind of robotic modernist tube people of folks like Leger:
and turns them into these mindlessly patriotic broken automatons chanting rote phrases:
And it’s so so funny to me that there’s all kinds of Gen X artists out there creating art about the millennials on their damn cellumar phones who think they’re the inheritors of this aesthetic but really it’s people who use the Madden gif generator to shitpost because they’re taking the technology meant for a coherent purpose for a particular narrative and they’re breaking it and turning it back on itself.
mizuki-takashima
I think you might be onto something…
Aside from color palettes and materials used, I see literally zero difference.
we-all-eat-death
This is one of the top 3 best posts I’ve ever seen on tumblr and I’ve been here for years.
Love
fringnubs
STATUS: DAY MADE.
Twitter reminded me of this today and I needed to reblog it so as not to lose track of it again. I was explaining this concept to my kid a few months back, and nearly pissed my pants when I described “bitch I might be.”
The Passover Story in Memes
My family has an annual tradition of telling the story in a creative way so here it is, told through memes:
When you start using Westlaw outside of law school and realize the site charges your client like $40/min to look up cases.
All research after that becomes
Government attorney here so we have a set contract - is it really that much?!
It depends on your plan (and your practice area), but it’s pretty ridiculous. Especially if the firm doesn’t/cannot use a set contract:
Law firms usually charge their clients $100/search to make up the costs.
(Still probably better than 30 hours wasted on Lexis though...)
When I was at the firm they absolutely hated when we like. Did research. Cuz it cost money.
So I did all my searches on Lexis cuz they're free and put the cites directly into westlaw cuz that was free
Being a govt lawyer is so much better, even if my agency only has Lexis which is the worst
Oregon has its own Westlaw/Lexis type system called FastCase and it is free to use for anyone who’s a member of the OR state bar & I cannot believe Westlaw is that expensive holy shit what a goddamned racket.
oh to be a role playing youth and not a lawyer in sweatpants with anxiety
If I were a roleplaying youth, I would come up with better shit than “a judge told me today that it wasn’t so much that I won the trial as it was that the prosecutor lost it”
If I were a roleplaying youth I would be winning landmark civil rights cases at the Supreme Court and not staring at UCC Article 9 for an entire day
If I were a role playing youth I’d be fighting a school district for more special education resources for a student instead of looking at a bunch of nonsensical bank records
I know you’re being sarcastic but like, my specialty is bank regulation and oh my god looking at bank records is like my jam, I just hate the UCC
That sounds interesting but here I’m moreso like tracing community property stuff and credit card payments lol
There’s a Lawyer community on tumblr??!?!?!?!
Baby welcome
Yo, I miss the bank records. Used to be in financial services and moved to more general lit practice. Banks are so organized and practical compared to other large companies.
You know who else combs through bank records, looking for irregularities? Domestic relations attorneys. Guess what I get to do next week when two different cases have discovery due! Yayyyyyy::weeping::
!!!!!!!!! @whatsahufflepuff the zingermans arrived and OMG carbssssssss!!! Lawblr secret Santa is best secret Santa!!
Sixth Annual Lawblr Secret Santa
Forget spooky time bitches, it’s time to think about presents!
I am very excited to announce that unlike last year where I had just delivered a whole ass human out of my body, I will actually have the brain power to personally participate in my own gift exchange
Because of the Pandemic, I am also creating a sub-category of exchange buddies who just want to do handmade gifts, because broke bitches still like presents
A refresher on the basics:
- Each year dozens of law students / lawyers sign up to exchange small fun gifts in order to brighten each other’s lives during what is usually an awful hellscape of exams / q4 billables etc.
- After the sign-up deadline passes, I send you two emails, paring you with two different buddies for the exchange: one to send you a gift, and one to receive a gift from you
- The “secret” part of it is really the level of anonymity you choose to retain from your tumblr pseudonym. I don’t take people’s addresses, because that’s creepy and I’m not a serial killer
- Traditional Rules of my Dictatorship Can Be Found Here - (x) (x) (x)
Sign Up Deadline Is October 30 (x)
THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE MOTHERFUCKING YEARRRRRR
*RARE* John Denver & Johnny Cash - Take Me Home Country Roads
Found this while going through my granddad’s VHS tapes and couldn’t find it anywhere online, so here it is.
nunyabizni
Every time I’m lucky enough to have this hit my dash I listen to it, and every time I get chills all the way through.
friendly-neighborhood-patriarch
superb
urbanfantasyinspiration
I’m so at peace rn
imagine harmonising with johnny cash on your own song, i’d die on the spot this is beautiful
That was John Denver’s gift though. He was an amazing song writer, but the man could harmonize with just about anyone.
My mother died in 2009. John Denver & Johnny Cash were two of her favorites, and this was one of her favorite songs. 11 years, and I can still find things that hit me in the gut, knowing that she likely never saw this thing that she would have loved. I really hope the people who believe that when you die, you know everything that ever was and ever will be, so that somewhere out there my mother’s essence/soul/ghost/whatever can hear this on repeat.
For now, I have to clean myself up because i have a Serious Talk™ to give in about an hour.
I have a client who communicates exclusively via Microsoft Word.
If she has something to tell me, I’ll receive an email with nothing in the body, but a Word doc attached. That’s where she writes her message.
Whenever she wants to email me a photo, she does so via an empty Word doc with said photo set as its background.
But my favorite thing was the first time I witnessed her visiting a website. She had me spell the URL (“W… W… W… dot…”) and with my own two eyes I watched her type it into Word, made it a hyperlink, and Ctrl click it to go there.
I was so fascinated I didn’t even say anything.
S C R E A M I N G
One of our own was arrested (and thank fuck released) in Portland. She was peacefully protesting as part of the #WallofMoms
Kristiansen said was taken into the federal building and was not told her charges or told that she was under arrest. She said they handcuffed her behind her back and took her into an elevator. Inside the elevator, she was pushed into a corner by a federal officer, she said. Kristiansen said there were four officers in the elevator with her. One told her to “stop resisting,” and she said back, “I’m 100 pounds, I’m not resisting.” She said he then yelled at her, “shut up.”
[…] Kristiansen said she is “not special,” but is speaking out about her arrest because she said it was wrongful and because federal poice “taking a very small, well dressed white lady without provocation unfortunately gets more news than the mother of a young man who was shot a few years ago who marches every Thursday in front of the justice center downtown,” referencing Letha Winston, the mother of Portland police shooting victim Patrick Kimmons.“I think more attention needs to be paid to the black moms who have been out there every single night, the mothers of the black men in Portland, who have been shot in Portland and do not have justice yet,” Kristiansen told Heavy. She said she and the other “Wall of Moms” joined the frontlines after they calls were made for white allies to put their bodies on the line.
Jenn has been my shoulder through some dark mom shit, so if her wish is that this story helps amplify the members of the black community fighting against literal fucking fascism then I am here to help
How to support the protests in Portland (from Harpers):
- The Portland General Defense Committee’s GoFundMe supports those arrested by using donations “to pay for bail, legal fees and fines, lawyers, discovery, investigations, personal material support and any other financial needs that arise during the legal process.” DONATE HERE
- The Portland-based Black Youth Movement aims to amplify Black voices in the city, with a current focus on defunding the police and redistributing resources. DONATE HERE
- Don’t Shoot PDX is a Black-led, community-driven nonprofit organization. DONATE HERE
- Defense Fund PDX is a jail support group whose work involves prioritizing the release of BIPOC and queer people from jail, as well as supporting those without homes. You can Venmo donations @defensefundpdx.
- Equitable Giving Circle is a nonprofit organization that works to build economic equity among Portland’s BIPOC communities. DONATE HERE
- Snack Bloc PDX supports community rallies, events, vigils, and more. DONATE HERE
- Portland Action Medics is a group of volunteer medics who provide first aid to those injured at direct actions or protests. You can Venmo donations @Rosehip-medics.
- Care Not Cops is an organization working to end policing in Portland and redistribute resources according to community needs. SUPPORT THEM HERE
- Riot Ribs provides free food for those attending direct actions in Portland. DONATE HERE
I love you all. So dang much.
Portrait of a young-ish woman who has quit her job
Today was my last day. I quit my job, with nothing waiting in the wings, no new job to start any time soon.
My gig had become unmanageably stressful. Working from home since mid-March, despite my boss’s desire to have me at the office, had led to insurmountable conflict. “You need to be doing more billables” but either not asking me to do tasks or not responding when I asked for tasks to do. Criticisms of my mannerisms that clients had told me - in writing - that they appreciated. The list goes on, but bottom line is on June 18, I gave my two weeks, and 7/3 was going to be my last day, but due to professional liability insurance running month-to-month & my boss unwilling to pay for 7/4-7/31, and no new gig to jump into, today, June 30, was my last day.
Four years and one month at the same firm, my first job after passing the bar in 2016. I have no idea what’s next. I’m in touch with a recruiters, I’m scanning the job boards, I’ll be contacting the staffing agencies next week when I’ve had some time to breathe. We have enough savings to cover my portion of bills for a while (and student loans are deferred at least until September, which helps). I wouldn’t have done this had my husband not heard me vent one night and said “just fucking quit. We haven’t been spending hardly any money since lockdown started, we have enough in savings, this isn’t worth it anymore. I love you. Quit. Your. Job.” So I did.
If anyone knows of a decent position in the Portland metro area, my DMs are open. My experience™ is domrel, but I’d like to make a transition to transactional or -- ideally -- appeals. More research & writing & analysis, less Navigating Other People’s Dramas. Must be ok with profanity, understand ADHD is a Thing, and not balk at a requirement to work from home while we continue to ride out a fucking Pandemic.
When I told my kids, they didn’t even blink. 14 said, “is it because of your boss?” and 12, when asked what he thought, said, “well, your boss is kind of rude, sooooooo...” They get it. We’ll be ok. For now, I’m focusing on taking care of them, and the house, and working in the much-neglected yard. I might pick up a short-term volunteer gig or three while I wait. Onto the next adventure.
Stuff that may happen on your period no one told you about.
So there was a lot of misinformation, and just a huge lack of the nitty gritty stuff, when I was in school and I see a lot of young kids on forums asking if something is normal or worrying about stuff and adults who have wondered their whole lives if other people feel the same on their periods.
Here’s some stuff about periods people might not talk about;
- It can smell. But using scented pads isn’t a great idea, the chemicals in the perfume cause irritation. But here’s the thing; vaginas smell. All of them. All the time. Right now. YOU notice the smell because it’s literally part of you, but other people don’t. If it’s a foul smell and very strong you should speak with a gynecologist, but the average day-to-day odor is normal and doesn’t mean you’re dirty.
- Diarrhea all day every day.
- Or, alternately, constipation all day every day.
- ALSO alternatively, a healthy mix of both sprinkled randomly across the days of your period like too much nutmeg where no one asked nutmeg to be.
- Your first period might not look like a period at first. It might look, well, brown, and lead you to other conclusions about what’s going on in your skivvies. Then it might not come again the next month and show up on a totally different week when it does. Mine came like A LOT. It was very heavy and I bled through a pair of jeans in the middle of school it was so heavy. I didn’t know what it was and thought I was bleeding from my butt because my liar teacher said a period would only be a ‘tablespoon’. Tablespoon of lies.
- At some point your probably going to stain the back of the toilet seat with blood. That doesn’t mean your bleeding too much, or that your dirty, but it’s a tid bit of information I wish I knew as a kid so I could have known to look for it when using public restrooms or at friend’s houses.
- Period farts.
- Having sex on your period isn’t gross or dirty or wrong. Put an old towel down on the bed and have at it.
- The feelings you have on your period are entirely valid and not imagined or unimportant because of your period. Whether or not your feelings are heightened by PMS they are still your feelings and should be respected.
- The ‘average’ period is anywhere from 3-10 days with any variation in flow. You shouldn’t be concerned because your period isn’t the same as your friends is, only if it changes from what’s average for you. There isn’t such a thing as a ‘normal period’ you need to fit into.
- If you wear a disposable pad there will be a point where it’s going to unstick at some corner and when you pull it off it’s going to pull some of your pubic hair with it. This is going to suck. I am very sorry.
- If you wear a tampon there is going to be a point you will squeeze it out of yourself when you use the bathroom. Just change your tampon each time you go. Please listen to me on this.
- Swamp butt.
- You will get blood stained thighs at some point. It’s going to cake onto your skin and make a mess just everywhere.
- The cashier doesn’t care about you buying pads/tampons/etc, they just had a guy buy 4 pounds of carrots, a box of Xtra Large ribbed condoms and cherry scented lube. Your pads are not on their radar of things to care about.
Washing Your Junk:
- When you shower (if you want a bath i’d shower before hand or dont wash in the bath itself and shower after to get clean) remember you are not actually washing inside of your vagina, you’re washing the skin around it (labia, clitoris, all those good bits). Using a soft wash cloth with either very mild unscented soap or just warm water. Seriously, stop putting washing products inside yourself; You do not need to wash the inside of your vagina and doing so can cause infections. Unless given products by your doctor there is no need to douche or use creams or wipes or other stuff like that. They’re lies sold to you to make you think you smell bad.
- You know how your parents said ‘wipe front to back’?Same with washing, you don’t want to drag butt germs all over your vagina. Don’t do it.
- Some people find that trimming, or shaving, their pubic hair helps them control odor, or makes wearing sanitary products more comfortable, but it isn’t required and is personal preference with different individuals. There is no health benefit to shaving or trimming your pubic hair and it will not make you cleaner than if you didn’t shave.
- Wearing light breathable cotton undies during your period will help eliminate odor and not give you swamp butt. Especially in the summer.
- Washing after sex is a great idea and not just because it’s romantic. If you’ve ever had period sex before you will k n o w but if you have not I am going to just ask you to take my word for it and plan a shower afterwards.
Feel free to tack on other stuff if you want. Tell me all your period secrets.
princessandthepug
Also: keep in mind that what’s coming out isn’t just blood. It’s also uterine lining. It’s not going to smell like blood and it’s common, especially when it’s heavy, that there will be clots and chunks. These are normal.
You should NOT be experiencing debilitating pain. Cramping, bloating, and general discomfort are expected but shouldn’t be severe. If your period is causing you nausea or vomiting, dizziness, fainting spells, blacking out, or any other severe symptoms that interfere with your day to day life PLEASE reach out to a doctor.
also stress, travelling, sickness, and a whole whack of other changes to your life can affect your cycle and that’s totally okay!! your cycle may come like clockwork, it may range between 4-6 weeks, it may skip one entirely, and all of this is normal. you can always see a doctor if your period is constantly irregular.
Also, if you’re (still) worried about anything, go to a doctor. They know all about this stuff. They can answer your questions and help you if necessary. And trust me, they won’t judge you or share your private info with anyone without your permission.
- I’m going to disagree with one point up there. Wet wipes (the unscented kind) are AMAZING. It’s not that you’re OMG DIRTY if you don’t use them, it’s that when things get messy one or two can make a significant difference in personal comfort when a shower isn’t an option. Angrily stomping around with bloodstained thighs is OK if that’s what you want to do, but that’s not a choice I tend to prefer, and there are options now! Flushable wet wipes were not widely available until the mid-late 2000s I think; my generation did not grow up with them. It was baby wipes, wet TP/paper towels, or nothing.
- Also people’s sensitivity level to scents & stuff differs; some people are totally OK with all sorts of stuff including some fairly vigorous soaps and some people get irritation from just looking at the wrong kind of menstrual pad.
- Yes, you can be allergic to spermicide. ASK ME HOW I KNOW.
- Pain and itching in the vulva area are not things you should feel as though you have to put up with. It might be a yeast infection! It might be some other sort of infection! It might be a poor choice of new laundry soap! A lot of irritations of the vulva area can be cured or treated.
- Numbing creams aren’t a substitute for Actual Health Care, but hot damn they can make things more bearable while the antifungals or antibiotics or whatever kick in.
- I have been a cashier. Menstrual products are *so* not on the radar. That person with the 14 poorly organized coupons holding up the long line, the person with the purchase order or the print-on-it-at-the-register check and the huge cart of baking supplies, the condescending asshole in a super hurry who can’t beliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieve that someone could fumble a simple key sequence while being sniped at for not checking out fast enough, the gross raw chicken juice someone dripped all over my nice clean belt literally 30 seconds after I sanitized it, and the agonizing pain in my feet and how badly I have to pee and/or change my own tampon – are all much more of a concern than someone buying menstrual products.
- Exception: the dude who is handling the single cheapest box of pads as if it were a dead whale about to explode – ostentatious performative disgust at something that challenges your masculine identity is notable, and risible. Also the cheap pads are often terrible and are bad value for the money.
- Exception to the exception: the nervous dude who is buying several varieties of menstrual supply because you clearly have no idea which is appropriate, and you’re obviously trying to get it right because it’s important and you care: good man. Have a cookie, and hang in there. It doesn’t make you a superhero, it makes you an ordinary decent person.
- It’s good to get in the habit of carrying your preferred menstrual supplies at all times even if not currently menstruating – even if you’re not caught short someone else might be.
- I don’t care if someone is the weirdest freak in the school, if they ask to borrow menstrual supplies and you have some to spare, do it. Unless they’re some sort of war criminal, in which case all bets are off. (P.S. crimes against fashion are not the same as war crimes.)
- If you know that you get cramps that need medication, carry your preferred painkiller with the other menstrual gear.
- Don’t be a hero and decide you’re going to tough out the cramps without painkillers this time because “you should be stronger than that” or “pain means you’re not in touch with your inner goddess” or whatever fantastic bullshit. It is literally a ball of muscle inside your abdomen doing gymnastics in order to shove blood and gunk out of you, and it gets charley horses. Take whatever you’re taking at the first sign of cramps, so they don’t get worse.
- Also be sensible about medication, if you find you’re using over the counter pain medication in a way that the label says could hurt you or you should talk to your doctor, talk to your doctor. Bleeding ulcers and/or liver failure are serious business and you want to avoid that.
- The “but menstruation is normal and natural and it shouldn’t be medicalized or called badly designed” crowd needs to stay in their lane when someone has menstrual symptoms that would be debilitating even in a society that honored and respected menstruation. Throwing up or passing out from pain is some bad design and deserves medical attention.
- Smegma. It affects mammals who have genitals!
- It’s sad but common that some doctors don’t take menstrual-related symptoms seriously. If yours is pulling any of that bullshit on you, consider your options for how to get heard, taken seriously, and treated effectively. This may mean asking uncomfortable questions like “How many times should I be throwing up because of the pain during each day of my cycle?” and “Is a golf ball sized blood clot normal? Would you like to see one right now?!”, looking for another doctor, and/or filing a complaint with whatever authorities are in charge of your doctor.
- “If you lost weight this wouldn’t be a problem” is some grade-A bullshit. First, OFTEN IT’S SOMETHING ELSE. Second, losing weight takes time and effort even if it’s something you want to/are physically capable of doing, and in the meantime you still have this thing going on, and it’s a problem NOW. This is the body you have, not the body your doctor wishes you had two years from now. Third, POLYCYSTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME, AND PLEASE ALLOW ME TO PRESENT THIS FINE KICK IN THE GENITALS TO A SERIES OF BULLSHIT DOCTORS.
- Blood stains don’t automatically mean the underwear should be never worn again and must be thrown out. It’s your underwear. Are you OK with some blood stains? Yes? Then keep them.
- Horribly bloodstained cotton underwear, a soft cotton washcloth folded in thirds, and a sewing needle with some nice sturdy thread are a great beginner project in DIY overnight-friendly cloth menstrual pads. Just stitch the washcloth to the underwear! (I don’t recommend wearing these out of the house unless you know exactly how much you’re likely to bleed b/c you can’t replace a sewn-on pad if it starts to get soaked.)
- Menstrual-related technology is advancing all the time. If the people who are in charge of teaching about what to do about it were last trained in the early 1980s, they’re probably missing out on a few key developments. See above about wet wipes.
- Period zits. :(
- It’s a lot easier to put the complicated pads with the wings on the underwear before you’re wearing the underwear than after putting the underwear on yourself.
- Packaging and familiarity matter in this time of need. A winged pad with two separate peel-offs is not the same as a winged pad with one peel-off on both wings. Cardboard applicator? Plastic applicator? No applicator? Whatever you like best. Experiment, sometime when it’s not urgent.
- Keep a little basket of menstrual supplies in the bathroom along with any other dispensers for commonly used toiletries. It’s helpful and welcoming for your guests.
- The Silicon Valley tech company which had well-stocked stacks of tampons and pads in all the women’s bathrooms is doing perks correctly. It’s one less thing to worry about, even if it’s not the brand I prefer.
- Period zits ON THE LABIA, WHAT THE HELL MAN, THAT’S JUST NOT FAIR. D: D: D:
- Menstruation is a normal and natural part of having a standard-issue uterus. If you have a partner who can’t handle things like “mentioning you have a period” and “seeing your menstrual supplies in the bathroom”, your uterus is generally not the problem. Your partner has a problem. And on occasion that problem is dysphoria and if that’s the case I’m so sorry and all my good vibes and support.
- Detachable shower heads. DETACHABLE SHOWER HEADS. Even if your area is in a drought and it would be inappropriate and irresponsible to use them for *ahem* recreational purposes *ahem* they’re super useful for directly hosing off your bits if they’re covered in blood and chunks of uterine lining.
- It’s okay if you’re not sure that the “womanhood” thing is really for you. The transgender, genderqueer, gender non-compliant, gender anarchist, and similar communities often have members who like answering questions and sometimes started out at “what the fuck why did I get a uterus :( :( :(” too.
The only thing I have to add to this very very very good list:
“FLUSHABLE” WIPES ARE NOT ACTUALLY FLUSHABLE. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF MUNICIPAL SANITATION SYSTEMS AND YOUR OWN (LITERAL, NOT FIGURATIVE) PLUMBING, DO NOT AT ANY TIME FOR ANY REASON FLUSH ANYTHING OTHER THAN (1) BODILY WASTE & (2) TOILET PAPER DOWN A TOILET. THIS INCLUDES TAMPONS, AND CONDOMS, AS WELL AS PERSONAL HYGIENE WIPES, NO MATTER HOW THEY ARE LABELED OR MARKETED.
criminaljustish replied to your post “12b6: “partners are in the office but feel free to do whatever you...”
You gotta get a different firm. We are all, as of today, encouraged to work exclusively from home, and are required to cancel any and all in person meetings and only do business over the phone until further notice. Would be handy if I knew when my trials were being rescheduled to, and I'm kinda hoping Clackamas doesn't follow suit since I have a disso that has been pending for a year and a half finally going to trial, but at least my boss is unequivocally supportive.
Chief Justice Walters put all Oregon courts on level 3 status last night. That means for any domestic relations matter other than:
(1) Motion for Expedited Parenting Time; (2) Immediate Danger motions and hearings; (3) Protective Order applications (Family Abuse Prevention Act, Elderly Persons and Persons with Disabilities Abuse Prevention Act, Sex Abuse Protective Orders, Emergency Risk Protection Orders, and Stalking Orders); (4) Contested Protective Order hearings; and (5) In-custody Violation of Restraining Order trials
everything between now & March 27 is postponed, for every court in the state. I’ve got a Clackamas Enforcement/Contempt on 3/27 that will be postponed & I’m fine with that because my client is Respondent/Defendant & it’s totally nonsense so this buys me more time.
But if I want to stay home during this, when my boss has developed a fever now, I have to use my sick time to do it. The biggest firms in town are letting folks work from home, but we can’t.
At least it’s a worker’s comp claim if I get sick?
“partners are in the office but feel free to do whatever you feel is the best, and stay home if you are sick” aka “we are trying to cover our asses in case of litigation later but you should come in unless you’re actively dying”
LAWYERS. DO NOT CAVE. DON’T GO IN.
LOL for fucking ever, we have remote login capability with a VPN but my boss literally told me today that if I stay home I have to use sick time to do it & cannot work from home under any circumstance. Nevermind that I “work from home” all the fucking time (e.g. while on vacation, on the weekends, in the evenings), and the VPN makes it 10000000000x easier to actually get shit done (because AGAIN LOLFOREVER we use WORDPERFECT which I cannot use on my home machine).
Domestic relations matters in the counties where we practice are being reset until MAY & I’m refusing to meet with clients for the next three weeks but sure, my presence in this particular chair is super fucking necessary.
I need the money & giving my resignation effective Friday would guarantee I never worked in this town again. I have to “cave.” Because my kids need to “eat.”
Sixth Annual Lawblr Book Exchange
[I know I usually release on Galentines Day, so I’m two whole days late. My bad]
Refresher Course - You will be matched round-robin style with another lawblr (mostly - I reserve the right to match two people exclusively where necessary for geography purposes). You will send someone one of your favourite books, and someone will send you one of their favourite books. Some of us send more than one book, and sometimes those of us who know each other well throw in a few extra surprises to.
You will have the option of sharing an e-book or sending a physical book. Thriftbooks.com / Abebooks/ Amazon are all great resources for used books with cheap shipping rates. The trick is to buy from your recipients local amazon (ie. if you’re sending to germany, buy from german amazon)
You have to fill out the form here (x) - for those who have participated in previous years there’s an easy option to just reuse your submission from last year, but I need you to at least submit something so I know you’re participating
As for the rest of it:
The rules of my dictatorship have not changed (x)
Reblog - tag your friends! - deadline to get your name in the hat is going to be March 1
Happy Lawblr Love
Tagging the usual suspects; if you don’t have time to fill out the form, just hit me up with an “I’m in”
Yessssssss!!!! Lawblrs get in on thisssssssss!111!!!!