Under communism the wait staff will not ask if Pepsi is okay. You will not even find out that's its Pepsi instead of coke until you take your first sip. Unless you train like me, to know the difference from the sound of the Fizz alone, that is the only way we can beat communism and I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP
I'm not a prayin' man, but the night I found out my at-the-time-fiancé had been sending sex horny nasty horny sex asks to my friend on THIS VERY WEBSITE, I sat in the car in the parking lot of an abandoned church and watched a family of deer play in the snow, and it didn't quite feel like a sign because that part of Pennsylvania was mostly deer and abandoned buildings and snow, but it felt nice, and once the tears stopped, I looked down at my phone and my other friend had sent me a text that said, "HE'S TRYING TO CHEAT ON YOU ON THE ONE DIRECTION IMAGINES WEBSITE?" and I realized that life is all about your curated experience. A real choose-your-own-adventure deal. I have never seen someone post about One Direction on here in my life.
masks and helmets that hides someone's face in such a way that they become the face themselves my beloved
these are all creatures to me
MERLIN FAN HOW ARE WE FEELING
sillies supreme
*sips tea* it's dumb crossovers time
I guess here King Arthur was a real dude who became legend after his death (in which demons and angels might have been involved). Our heroes now have a mystery to solve, with the help of a certain sorcerer.......
i love merlin fans
me: my ear tingles
the internet: YOU HAVE 35 HORSES, 58 MINUTES, AND 27 MINUTES LEFT TO LIVE
you can do this by breaking unto a dead sprint the instant the bus obscures you. run in the direction the bus is going and if you're quick you can get like 50 feet before the bus outpaces you.
follow the bus, get around a corner if you can, get behind something, get on top of something tall, take off a large coat and hat, any basic misdirection really and you've as good as vanished.
whatever you do, don't be still running when the bus outpaces you.
whatever you do,
don’t be still running when the
bus outpaces you.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
that's an ominous haiku
My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency
Moreover, everyone gathers around to be tremulously compassionate and discreetly admiring: all this time, you lacked the Vitamin? And yet you persevered?
#The best shoemaker and midwife
There’s a damn good story here.
It's the flip flop that's turned into an anklet that really makes it for me
My Reddit feed glitched and gave me this masterpiece.
Wow.... so you’re telling me you took an action that resulted in the death of one person...... to save the lives of many people.... who would have died if you did nothing??? that sounds so familiar
Go a little fart
—Please, let him be happy ( j.p. )
"A ship can never truly love an anchor." dude shut up. a ship without an anchor gets dashed against the rocks. it's useless, completely at the whim of the currents. a ship loves an anchor so much it carries it everywhere it goes. the anchor gives the ship the world to love. dude.
DUDE DON'T YOU DO THIS TO ME
