A stressful thing about English is when you make a mistake and you’re like “ah sorry I spelled / phrased that wrong, English is hard” and native speakers are like “no actually that’s correct too! both are accepted, don’t worry there’s no solid rule :)” as if that’s not ten times worse from a non-native speaker’s perspective. We are begging for solid rules—well at least French people are, we’re lost without them. Please just let us know which of these two spellings is a felony. Where’s your national academy of little guys with little swords telling you off for forgetting an esoteric grammar rule they made up in the 1650s?
"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.
"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"
"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."
"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."
"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.
"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."
"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."
"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.
"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.
"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."
"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."
"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."
It drives me insane how many people dont realise how often they break the law and that if the full force of it was ever applied life would basically be unliveable. Like between traffic violations, petty workplace theft, account sharing and piracy alongside how common it is to have been in posession of some illegal drug at some point in your life. People still manage to get away with thinking "criminals" are people who commit crimes not just populations that are surveilled enough to be routinely prosecuted
ADHD
2016
Zhou Wendou
[video description: a short clip showing a large metal sphere in the center of a shallow pool of dark liquid. the same dark liquid is pouring over the sphere, coating it, while windshield wipers installed onto the sphere attempt to wipe it away, only for more liquid to immediately fall and cover the clean spots. end video description.]
I get it but don’t at the same time
I completely forgor that this thing existed but yeah, this is exactly what my adhd is like for me when
Why is she so co concerned with wether or not teenagers are turned on..?
NooOOO
HE’S FINE YOU GUYS
(ask @spatialheather she told me so)
Good news, everyone!
I’m pretty sure those are ptarmigan tracks, not those of a rabbit who got scooped up by something! They’re birds that hop through the snow and then leave those snow-angel imprints when they take off.
I’d also honestly be kind of surprised if a predatory bird swooping down on a prey animal just left nice clean imprints like that and not a bigger disturbance in the snow.
This took an interesting twist and i gotta say i am very fond of how it ended.
I still like the bunny growing wings theory
guys will try to school you on colors as if THEY were the gatherers
What color is this?
pussy
hope is a skill
hope is a weapon you are trained to wield
favourite additions
You cannot hide this in the tags, bestie. This is too lovely to keep a secret.
just saw a post written by a very kind and tolerant person politely explaining in detail why it is rude to listen to music/watch stuff on your phone in public without earbuds. I'm glad people patient enough to do that exist, since the only explanation I could possibly offer is "because you aren't the protagonist of this grocery store"
sports wizards casually showing off their powers
It’s almost as if focusing on eradicating the factors that drive people to addiction, rather than criminalizing the addiction itself, has a better outcome. who would’ve guessed 🤔🤔🤔
OKAY WAIT I HAVE TO ADD SOMETHING.
One of the other consequences is that Lisbon now does have a drug problem… with fake drugs. Seriously. People are hawking flour as ‘cocaine’ and ground bay leaves as ‘hashish’ to tourists on the street. The police have run anti-bay-leaf campaigns, but they can’t arrest these dealers because the items they’re selling are perfectly legal, and technically if a tourist is stupid enough to buy flour and think it’s cocaine, that’s their own fault.
What a great ‘drug problem’ to have.
the fellowship at fancy restaurants:
aragorn: literally would not care if he ate gas station sushi at a truckstop, does not see the appeal of fancy but appreciates the atmosphere. likes taking arwen out for fancy food, great at scouting out the genuinely good places, not just the expensive ones.
boromir: will fight you over paying the check. his current move is pretend to go to the bathroom, stop by the concierge’s desk and drop off his credit card there. always gets some sort of steak.
merry: deceptively well mannered. is polite and well spoken. offers to foot the bill (rich parents) but it’s an empty gesture cuz my man doesn’t carry a wallet on him 90% of the time.
pippin: gets like 80 appetizers and dessert. eats a little off of everyone’s plate. likes to order of the “secret menu” and enjoys french fries at every fine dining establishment regardless if they are offered to begin with.
frodo: very polite, has a hard time deciding what he wants. ends up getting several things and either sharing it with sam or giving the rest of it to pippin. all hobbits are incapable of bringing home leftovers.
sam: makes frodo order for him cuz he’s worried he will mess up the fancy names. fuckin loves him some fancy potatoes. takes a pic of the menu and tries to re-create it at home, 9/10 times it’s better than what the restaurant has.
legolas: eats the garnish. orders fancy cocktails and then will lick the salt rim off, eat the lemon, or the entire whole cherry, stem and all. likes to get pretty salads and sometimes will requests dressing on the side but not even use the dressing.
gimli: fantastic tipper. will fight with boromir about who pays the bill. has great table manners. will ask staff for recommendations and just order what they tell him to. not a picky eater, even if he hates it he will finish it all.
gandalf: shows up an hour, hour and a half, late. asks for servers to “surprise him” pays in cash, leaves whatever number feels right of hundreds on the table and heads out before the bill comes. he has been known to both dine and dash as well as tip 80%.
That's not how demographics work.
It could be if we’re all brave enough
Reblog to turn everybody gay by 2047
as always, xkcd has a comic for this











