Tumblr's stupid dash placeholder really elevated this post.

If a flaming old queen in a cape wants to kill off racists in power I say have at it

That wasn’t even his plan!! His plan was to make the senator a mutant, so he’d have to advocate for mutants or be destroyed by his own policy, and tbh. It’s the best villain plan I’ve ever seen. The goo was the plan unexpectedly failing. 9/10 only bc he was going to kill Rogue. Next time use someone willing to sacrifice herself for the cause, pls. No further notes

I like how his plan in like real world terms, was to turn desantis gay but instead he exploded

thank you scherz et al. for bringing us the frogs Mini ature, Mini mum and of course, the Mini scule

Glad to see we made one scientist very happy

Was looking up nightwing bumper stickers a found a real good one

Student Driver

Waiting for the day this happens to me.

This is still my favorite comic to date.

Every time I see this it makes me happy

Reblog if you are not a clever man

is this orange or yellow.

its yellow you are all wrong i have decided just now

hey op, what does this say?

nice try but i’m not colorblind it says 71

Am I tripping?

Is that not 71?

You’re slightly colorblind, that is 74 and the color of the car is orange.

world heritage post

It’s orange

it’s literally 71

Bestie it’s 74

Y’all it clearly fucking says 21

where are you getting that from?

Babes it’s 81 what r yall seeing

its 74 bestie you might be colorblind

That 81 person can see shrimp colors

I took exactly the same image, increased the saturation, and shifted it to a part of the spectrum most people can see better.

For all your no-YOU-have-the-weird-color-vision argument-solving needs.

Also, the car is orange.

Erogenous Bosch or whatever his name is

That's the one who got really turned on by nearly everything. I think the artist was Heterogenous Bosch.

That's the one who was composed of many different organs, none of them alike. You're thinking of Endogenous Bosch

That's the one whose artistic process took place wholly within his body. I think you meant Androgynous Bosch.

That’s the one of indeterminate sex. I think you meant Cacophonous Bosch.

No, that's the noisy one. You were probably thinking of Euphonious Bosch.

That's the brass instrumentalist. You're thinking of Hierophanius Bosch.

No, that's the one that's a physical manifestation of the diveine, you're thinking of Eponymous Bosch.

That's the one who named all his paintings after himself. I think you mean Anonymous Bosch.

No one knows who that one is.

is he okay

Damn he must've contributed so much to Morbius' gross

That's the funniest part. For his Morbius vid, he actually bought tickets to Everywhere All At Once and snuck into Morbius each time as to not play any part in making Sony think that they should make more Morbius.

Not all heroes wear capes, but according to that thumbnail this one does

ok I think it's safe to go to sleep

wait i lied

oh it's OVER over

Crabs in a bucket is OUT Crabs in Nature is IN

Goddamn. Okay

Did you have a kid in your neighborhood who always hid so good, nobody could find him? We did. After a while we would give up on him and go off, leaving him to rot wherever he was. Sooner or later he would show up, all mad because we didn't keep looking for him. And we would get mad back because he wasn't playing the game the way it was supposed to be played.

There's hiding and there's finding, we'd say. And he'd say it was hide-and-seek, not hide-and-give-UP, and we'd all yell about who made the rules and who cared about who, anyway, and how we wouldn't play with him anymore if he didn't get it straight and who needed him anyhow, and things like that. Hide-and-seek-and-yell. No matter what, though, the next time he would hide too good again. He's probably still hidden somewhere, for all I know.

As I write this, the neighborhood game goes on, and there is a kid under a pile of leaves in the yard just under my window. He has been there a long time now, and everybody else is found and they are about to give up on him over at the base. I considered going out to the base and telling them where he is hiding. And I thought about setting the leaves on fire to drive him out. Finally, I just yelled, "GET FOUND, KID!" out the window. And scared him so bad he probably wet his pants and started crying and ran home to tell his mother. It's real hard to know how to be helpful sometimes.

A man I know found out last year he had terminal cancer. He was a doctor. And knew about dying, and he didn't want to make his family and friends suffer through that with him. So he kept his secret. And died. Everybody said how brave he was to bear his suffering in silence and not tell everybody, and so on and so forth. But privately his family and friends said how angry they were that he didn't need them, didn't trust their strength. And it hurt that he didn't say good-bye.

He hid too well. Getting found would have kept him in the game. Hide-and-seek, grown-up style. Wanting to hide. Needing to be sought. Confused about being found. "I don't want anyone to know." "What will people think?" "I don't want to bother anyone."

Better than hide-and-seek, I like the game called Sardines. In Sardines the person who is It goes and hides, and everybody goes looking for him. When you find him, you get in with him and hide there with him. Pretty soon everybody is hiding together, all stacked in a small space like puppies in a pile. And pretty soon somebody giggles and somebody laughs and everybody gets found.

Medieval theologians even described God in hide-and-seek terms, calling him Deus Absconditus. But me, I think old God is a Sardine player. And will be found the same way everybody gets found in Sardines - by the sound of laughter of those heaped together at the end.

"Olly-olly-oxen-free." The kids out in the street are hollering the cry that says "Come on in, wherever you are. It's a new game." And so say I. To all those who have hid too good. Get found, kid! Olly-olly-oxen-free.

— Robert Fulghum, "All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten"

What a wild ride

every moment of every day i am thinking about this tiktok

Lumpfish come in a variety of shapes and colors.

[He scoops up the fish, it spits water and he turns it toward the camera]

This one is stumpy and green. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is what a normal lumpfish looks like. It is more elongated, but still a vibrant blue color. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is one of the stumpiest ones we have. Its hump is very high. It is very stumpy, but yet very beautiful, and very powerful.

[He pans over a lot of fish, all looking up at the camera]

My fish army is ever growing, and soon I will over throw the world. Very beautiful, very powerful.

because of this tiktok, i frequently murmur "very beautiful, very powerful" at myself, and i cannot recommend it enough.

I joke around a lot about how I would pay So Much Money for a Pokemon: Eevee Version where the entire selling point is finally giving us an eeveelution for all 18 types and also some dual-types.

And then I saw this:

And I am no longer joking.

With 171 potential combinations, it is entirely feasible to make a Pokemon game centered around Eevee.

Why? Because Eevee deserves it. And because we have had an egregious dearth of new Eeevee content since Sylveon dropped.

Here’s my pitch:

The region you live in is an island where Eevee basically became the endemic dominant organism. (If Gamefreak really wants to fuck around and find out, they could play around with real-life evolutionary theory concepts. They’ve used recent games to teach kids about stuff like environmentalism and conservation and energy/power production, so why not?)

The Pokemon Professor in the game will be a distant relative of, idk, Professor Rowan or Professor Sycamore, who decided that studying Pokemon evolution is too broad and decided to focus on what really matters: Eevee and Eevee-Associated Phenomena.

The player is tasked with filling out the Eeveedex.

The gym leaders still specialize in particular types, but they still only use Eeveelutions, of course. A fire-type leader can have Flareon as their signature ‘mon, sure, but for the rest of their team it’ll be dual fire types. Which might actually add to the difficulty level, especially if you get some weird type combos like fire/grass, because then you can’t just walk in and annihilate their entire team with a single not-overleveled water type unless it’s got some appropriate moves.

The Elite Four follows the same trend but with trickier type combos. The Champion has a six-Pokemon team full of the most seemingly contradictory type combos, like fire/water and normal/ghost. And lots of unexpected movesets, like the absolute badass that is Cynthia.

In the post-game Professor Oak will show up to give you the National Dex and you can have access to other ‘mons, as a treat, but until then? You get Eevee and its various -eons. It’s Eevee’s time to shine, which means Eevee and -eons only.

(I might make one (1) exception. There can be That One Fisherman with an entire team of Magikarp, if Gamefreak insists on carrying on that trope. Or he could just have a team of six Vaporeon that only know Splash. I’m willing to compromise.)

@inprogresspokemon​

My time has come! (mobile link)

An “Eevee Island” spin off would be fun. I’m a far way from all 171, but maybe someday! 

I remember in my Arabic class we were going over the alphabet and the teacher was like there’s no ‘P’ etc and this white girl was like wait what but my names Paige and my teacher was like lol then we’d pronounce it as beige and she was so offended I’m crying thinking about it

One of my mom’s friends, Hugh, went to France and they had a lot of trouble pronouncing his name because the entire thing was silent.

salut je m'appelle [REDACTED]

lol when I lived in France my host family had a friend names Hugh. We saw him and his family a lot.

They pronounced it “oog” and I didn’t know until the day before I left France that his name was Hugh. I just thought he had some weird caveman nickname 😭

that is hands down the funniest addition to this post

concept art 4 a horror comic about the dinosaurs that survived the initial meteor impact and are now living in a sort of last of us/annihilation-esque world

I never want to hear conservatives go on about repressive censorship in China, North Korea, and Iran ever again

To be clear to those unfamiliar: these are the companies that libraries use to lend ebooks.

They are literally cutting off library access to minors.

Just as a reminder: The Brooklyn Public Library is giving free digital library cards to kids aged 13 - 21. You can find more information here: https://www.timeout.com/newyork/news/nyc-libraries-are-offering-free-digital-library-cards-to-people-across-the-u-s-041322

Signal Boost where needed.

today we are going to learn about horses

horse fact 1: horses are partially exoskeletal

horse fact 2: horses are partially trees

horse fact 3: got frogs in em

these are all the facts we have about horses.

horse fact 4: some horses are partially canines and elephants

tumblr user hormse yours is the only addition that understands the joke structure of this post. thank you for adding a fourth piece of information to our global store of knowledge about horses. on my deathbed i will bequeath to you a single shining pearl.

Tkhorm, a huge black beast and my old good friend, walks in the sunset field ~

Made in Blender.

Okay op first of all this is strikingly breathtaking and I can't believe I'm not looking at a real animal oh my gods!!!!!! 😭😭😭

Secondly I need you to know it looks like my cat

Someone did this in BLENDER and threw it on Tumblr for FREE and Disney with all their custom-made cutting-edge state-of-the-art programs can’t pull off realistic water bubbles and wants you to pay twenty bucks a ticket for it.

Support unions for CG artists. This is what being allowed to have passion looks like.

I love that I could tell it had hooves even though you covered the feet in grass. Phenomenal movement work!

THIS WAS MADE IN BLENDER?????

We all love urban fantasy but we have to contend with the fact that if monsters were real, some of them would be normies. Your werewolf boyfriend posts on LinkedIn. The tentacled horror you've been thirsting after is a Disney adult.

You did it, you made unimaginable horror within man-made comprehension.

my mom finally bought a toaster

why did this get notes

we’re happy for you

its just a toaster

it’s been three years since i made this post. stop congratulating me on the toaster! stop asking me how the new toaster is doing!! i don’t know!! i haven’t lived with my mom in almost a year! i haven’t seen that toaster in months!! she might even have a new new toaster now!!! who knows!? not me!

@egberts how’s the toaster?

well the 10 year update to this saga is that I don’t talk to my mom and I have my own toaster 👍 don’t let your dreams be dreams