Small reminder for my Texas/southwest peope. Going to be expecially nasty next week. Stay hydrated, stay cool, keep an eye on your neighbors.
Popping this back up, since it’s getting hot here, and won’t get any cooler ‘til October. Stay hydrated, friends!
they should rewrite the bible so that jesus would be a hot 5'2 girl with a creampie fetish from missouri
would you prefer if she had a different fetish tumblr user nutsacktorturer
Best part of Tumblr is 100% forcing your followers to be autistic about the same media as you
Sorry to everyone who’s enjoyed the last 130 years of science and culture journalism, but Disney needs the money to fund Toy Story 9
offc we give up 4 runs in the 9th and r going to lose like 6-2
NOOTBAAR LEAD OFF HOME RUN
when a hornyposter makes your post about horny, it's business as usual on the pervert website. but when a sportsball poster makes your post about sportsball, it feels a bit special, like a single swan appearing in a flock of turkeys
we totally destroyed them
nolan gorman AND goldy homers?? yes.
there were like 7 rain delays tho 💀💀💀
i was thrifting today tbh but u get my live reactions for game 2!!
with my art, mini yordan alvarez, mini nolan arenado, vintage postcards, my art, and my rookie randy johnson and ken griffey jr cards 🥳
it would be fun if an angel and a vampire were friends i think
vampire: ugh, you mortals simply can't comprehend the timescale i live on. i've watched your empires rise and fall, your cities crumble to dust. i find your short little lives amusing at best. i -
angel: HI, I HAVE BEEN ALIVE SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME AND I NOTICED YOU ARE ALSO SOMEWHAT OLD?
vampire: ...sure. hey what was the dawn of time like?
angel: PRETTY BORING ACTUALLY. NOTHING ELSE EXISTED YET.
vampire: oh, man, i feel you. i slept through, like, the entire 14th century it was so boring. everyone was dying of plague and shit anyway so i didn't miss much.
vampire: hey i am outside your apartment
angel: YOU'VE JUST BEEN STANDING THERE? FOR HOW LONG?
vampire: uhhhhhhh a mere speck in comparison to our immortal lives so don't worry about it honestly. i need you to invite me in though.
angel: OF COURSE, I'M SO SORRY. PLEASE COME IN.
vampire: *steps over the threshold and immediately starts hissing and coughing like a cat with a bad hairball*
angel: OH, I'M SO SORRY. MY APARTMENT IS CONSIDERED HOLY GROUND BECAUSE I LIVE IN IT. I SHOULD HAVE WARNED YOU.
vampire: *coughing* it's fine. do you - *cough* *wheeze* what are your thoughts on chinese? i know a great place just a couple of blocks from here
everyone replying to this with "and they were lovers"? target audience
do i even need to post the tungsten arm o’doyle screenshot with this or do we all already know it by heart
harrison bader went to visit cardinal glennon even tho he's a yankee he loves st louis so much i'm going to cry
"the cardinals game was postponed" you mean my DAY was RUINED
HOW TO UNREGISTER FROM NBA DRAFT
I DONT WANT TO PLAY
