ultrakill superboss concept

does anybody else remember that reality show where they gaslit a bunch of americans into thinking they were competing to marry prince harry but it was really just some guy

I feel like we have a spiritual successor to None Pizza with Left Beef: NONE CHEESEBURGER.

No Cheeseburger Whatsoever Under Any Circumstances

Science happened here today.

if they rebooted austin powers it would either be the most tone deaf unfunny incredibly offensive movie in years OR they'd do it right and really keep with the times in being very self aware and it would be one of the best films in decades. austin powers would be a massive support of trans rights because trans women means more women for him to shag

oh your pronouns are she/they? well baby lemme she/them titties shagadelic

austin powers discovers bisexuality and it blows his fucking mind

sub plots of the movie include him learning who he thought was a woman he previously had relations with is a trans man now and powers teaching him the ways of picking up women & powers learning he has a daughter from one of his many escapades who's accidentally followed in his footsteps to also become a spy. the two have to team up and powers struggles being a father after being absent for so long, but eventually it's revealed his daughter is a lesbian and they bond over their mutual love of shagging women

the only joke made in regards to the trans man's gender is powers going "you're a man now? now that's groovy, honey! sorry, is it still okay to call you honey?"

the trans man is revealed from powers learning about bisexuality and lamenting that he could've also been shagging men this entire time, only for the trans man to be like "well...."

instead of the usual awful transphobic joke of being disgusted powers is instead ecstatic that he's already had relations with another man and that the pressure is already off for future encounters

there's a mid credits scene of him celebrating his first planned encounter with a man and him making a comment about how he's finally been with "both" genders, where he's then informed of non-binary people existing and how there's a whole world of genders for him to explore and it freeze frames on his shocked but absolutely delighted face

I'm proud of you all for showing some restraint and not running Kung Pow Penis into the ground.

K

I think I accidentally discovered an arguably divine minecraft seed

Seed: “1417712404511” Version: 1.19.4 (Latest Release at the time of this post.) That stripe through the mountains is pure calcite, not snow. Never seen anything like it before. I came up with this seed by writing the Hebrew term for “New World” using just numbers in English, which I intially thought was “Olam Kadash” - 01417712404511 (first zero gets eliminated by Minecraft though) - however, upon reflection, the correct term in hebrew is “Hadash”.

This is Thelockpickinglaywer and what I have for you today is something very interesting. As you can tell by the agonizing screams of the damned, I have recently left the mortal coil and, upon arriving at my destination, was informed that I did not qualify for residence. I was taken by an angel of the Lord to the mouth of Hell, and when the angel left, he closed this rather large red door and sealed it with a divine key. Although I’ve never seen this particular model of lock before, I’ve spent some time investigating the cylinder with this small shard of bone. By sticking it in the back of the keyway and slowly pulling it out, I can tell that this is a five-pin tumbler lock, that can easily be single-pin picked using this shed demon scale as a tensioner tool. Let’s try that right now. Alright, nothing on one. Nothing on two. Three is binding firmly, click out of that. Nothing on four. Five is binding, little click there, back to one. Once again, nothing. Two is binding, and we’ve dropped into a false set. Little click out of three. Nothing on four. Little click on one, counter-rotation on two, and we got this open. Okay folks, I think the main takeaway here is that no matter how much faith you place in a mechanism designed to ensure your safety, be it spiritual or physical, there is always a state in which it can fail. In any case, thank you for watching. Memento mori, and I’ll see you next time.

sjws DID ruin video games. the only thing that could possibly make bloodborne better is if u could get a weird gore bikini. but everybody had to complain abt boob cup armor. and now when i play resident evil the characters asses are only 30% of juicy as they used to be. no more boob armor in video games but every game has a fishing mechanic and a 3 second obligatory dog petting animation. what a fucking loss. its crazy u can explode a guys head off by sticking grenades in his mouth but god of war 2 is the only video game with a sex scene in it. they should make a version of minecraft for adults. they should make a version of diablo for adults. every video game should have a hot coffee mod. every video game should have a postal pissing mechanic. every video game should have leon kennedy in it

imagine in pathologic u just start pissing on dudes. imagine in resident evil 2 u just start pissing on dudes. imagine in yakuza u just start pissing on dudes. imagine in nier u just start pissing on dudes. video games could be good one day

This is what Kingdom Hearts looks like to me

but no yeah lets have the conversation:

"the CEO doesnt want to run that kind of website" Excuse, shouldnt have bought the 'go nuts show nuts whatever' website if thats the case. APPEAL DENIED

"we have to follow the TOS of the appstores we're hosted on" Excuse item one, no you dont, item two, you have since those days implimented infrastructure that would allow pornography and sex work on this platform Without violating TOS of any applicable app store. APPEAL DENIED

"we own the site we get to make the rules" Incorrect, this site has only ever made profit when the users willed it. we collectively own the site as a hive mind and no legal change in ownership will change that. APPEAL DENIED

"we have to keep this website safe for the children who use it" Argument based on fallacy banning pornography and sex workers does not prevent pornography and sex work from occuring on the site, it only forces aforementioned users to hide and avoid labling their content appropriately, which REDUCES the safety for children and sex workers alike instead of increasing it, this has been shown to the point that making this argument at all is tantamount to admiting fascist intent APPEAL DENIED

Reblog it. I want this to be on Tumblr radar by end of the week, i want my notes to be useless from the discourse, i want every single person on Tumblr to have seen this post at some point

“polyamory isn’t the solution to a love triangle when two of the people hate each other”

I mean yeah not if you don’t understand QUADRANT VACILLATION

Incredible shirt you could give to Fidel Castro or maybe crimew.

Does she have a tumblr?

I don't think Fidel Castro has a Tumblr, no.

they really gotta get fidel castro on here

You ever meet a kid so shitty you're immediately like "I want to adopt you as my own so I can instill into you the values of dignity and compassion and respect for self and others that your guardians have so obviously neglected, so that you may escape the unhappy future that lies ahead of you with all the smoldering ashes of wasted potential" but also, like. I punt you like a football

Drop the vape u little turd I'm gonna take an active interest in your passions and buy u pants that fit. When was your last dentist appointment. U wanna go to summer camp

and then you didn't

Did u want me to kidnap a child

just remembered music is real

This post is for fans of MUSIC only

No one in this video is a human.

the sims 9