Not Patrick

me entering a group chat

no offence but generation Z kids are a thousand times funnier than us depressed millennials 

花布爱上鸟_ on weibo

How you make a 30 second masterpiece about grilled cheese.

Bitch I’m wet

Why is this cinematically better than like actual movies?

Or am I just fat?

(The new working title of my memoirs)

Why steal porn when you can just watch this?

yelling hard enough triggers my gag reflex

I cannot believe I get to see this video again 

8 Hands, 1 Piano! Watch more!

Ok but I wanna play 😭☹️

Me too 😭

This needs to be on ESPN

Why this shit look fun as fuck?

This looks awesome oh shit!!!!

I was on the EDGE of my seat

wow, worth the wait

is this Art

yes

Reblog and you’ll find money soon!

Yes.

Also weird I reblobbed the other money one last night and a freelance check I invoiced for a month ago came in.

reblobbed

seriously have nothing to lose

Did it once might as well let it stack. At least I’m not buying loto tickets

You guys, I reblogged this 2 days ago out of desperation. Today I was looking through my old wallet for coins to go to the vending machine because that’s all I can fucking afford. I haven’t touched this thing since July/ August. When I found a disappointing 15 cents in the coin pocket I went to the billfold to see if any coins were in there. That’s when I saw them. 5 crisp bills amounting to $22. I literally screamed and danced around my room out of joy before remembering that I’d reblogged this post.

Tl;dr - This post is fucking magical and actually worked for me.

I’m broke as fuck. Money gods pls send me like 100k.

I never reblog these, let’s give it a shot. BIG MONEY, BIG MONEY

I reblogged this last week and withing an hour I got a client after a month of silence! Literally gave me money to eat for the rest of the month.

Crazy enough but my mom randomly gave me 200 dollars after I reblogged one of these the other day…

Amen

Reblobbed.

I have a theory that these posts actually gather energy from the wishes of people who reblog them and that’s why they work. Plus, yanno, they get passed around by witches…a lot. :)

Financials are getting a little rocky here (new job was a pay cut and was supposed to be an hours increase but ended up being more of a cut/lateral move) and I’m still trying to figure out how to downgrade my spending (seriously how can I cancel some of my cable services and end up paying MORE than before fucking packages fucking Verizon…) so in the meantime I could really go for a cash infusion until I get myself sorted.

Ok this is such a ridiculous coincidence but I JUST reblogged this this morning and between then and now my tax refund hit my account 3 days early. Draw your own conclusions.

I’ve been laughing at this stupid fucking video for 30 minutes

Yall sont understand this is the funniest thing ive experienced in weeks

holy fucking shit

even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk

*straightens calculator*

It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:

n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.

Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries

*straightens calculator again*

Kick the fucking door in

well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it. 

some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here

No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.

Sherlock out.

woah.

it got better

and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….

Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.

Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.

The light is green.

The door is already open.

And that’s why we have a John Watson.

This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.

Omg, it’s actually on my dash! This post is like a fossil!

my last brain cell after 4 vodka sodas at the goth gay bar

THE TINIEST FEET

@nueps

Watch her consider the finger

This is an Anna’s Hummingbird; named after Anna Masséna, Duchess of Rivoli.

Also, evidently hand feeding Hummingbirds is a kinda popular thing. All you have to do is put sugar-water that’s been dyed red or any other bright, flower like color in your hand and stand around some hummingbirds.

It highkey looks like that hummingbird just attacked that person’s hand and is now drinking the blood though. Lol

the fucking slapping noise is incredible

This is unsettling.

1-800-R-U-SLAPPIN

I don’t think that this is how seasonal migration is supposed to work.

Sophina DeJesus ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Hits the Quan, Dab and Whip in Likely Greatest Floor Routine of All Time

Sophina is a Temecula, California native and she scored a 9.925 out of 10.000.

I swear black people will make anything lit

can she get an oscar just because of this one scene please and thank you

and she wasn’t even nominated! 😤

seeing this really brings tears to my eyes

Instagram MUAs will use anything as a brush 😤😤😤😂😂😂

This is the funniest video ever invented

Timmy was always a bit different from the other ostriches

I love him