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Pastry's Notebook

@pastry-child

free writes
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pastry-child
Mulberry
I hate them
Their taste, their texture
How they always are on the driveway
And that they makes me have to wear shoes
Now they're outside my window
I remember when I thought it was just a bush
Then a year later I recognized what it was
The familiar bark pattern
And those stupid berries I always step on
The ones the stain my shoes
Some ripe, some not
From pitch black, to budding green
The only one who eats them is my father
I find them sour, and my brothers and mother never cared.
But sometimes, I feel like one
Like a sour bitter berry
One that is but a stain on peoples shoes
That with my suffering follows
As crushed seeds and dripping juice
Maybe that's why I really hate them
Because I know, more than anything I hate myself
That I am just an annoyance
And whilst some like them, I don't
I know in the end
That I am a Mulberry
#original poem#poem#poemsbyme#poetry#original writing#writing#depressing poem#long poem#mulberry
pastry-child
Thunderstorm
I'm sitting in bed
Then I glance out the open window
I see the leaves blow and the sky darken
As it grows grayer I know
I know that it will rain
That it will do much more than that
I see that the storm is upon us
The signs can be seen by everyone of my senses
I smell it in the air, I feel it in my bones
I head it in the leaves, and the distant thunder
Yet I don't feel annoyance, dread, or anything like that
All I feel is joy, this odd form of elation
I barely even notice my growing grin
As I wait for the rain to start
I have always enjoyed braving a Thunderstorm
#original poem#poem#poemsbyme#poetry#original writing#writing#long poem#thunderstorm#weather
pastry-child
Imagination
I view life as a sink trying not to sink
And it's perfectly fine if that ship looks plain
It's practical
But it doesn't have to be just that
It can have color and meaning
To create is to think in my eyes
And imagination is all about one's perspective
And I want my ship to me noticeably mine
To enter it and feel it's uniqueness
To be able to feel that it is different from other ships
And that it can still float
It still blows in the wind and sails
Imagination can define one's self
And it defines me
It makes my ship its own
But it's still a ship in the end
And it's mine
One that I am the captain of
And I imagine mine as a lot more colorful than what we start with
#original poem#poem#poemsbyme#poetry#original writing#writing#long poem
pastry-child
Phone Number
Tonight
I was given a phone number
it was one I already had
The reason of it being bestowed upon me
Was not out of Lust or Desire
but of Concern
Unsure of how I dealt with my parents
How if I ever needed to get away
To just call
I told her
"I already have your number"
Because she had forgotten
But then she said
"Keep the post-it, incase you don't have your phone"
This was not the first time I had been given a number for this reason
But it was the first of two things
To be given it on paper and told to keep it
And to be given in front of my dad
The night when I went back to my room
I cried
Openly let my eyes to more than just water
I let them pour
To think
That a simple number
A single Post-It note
With only 10 digit made me weep
#original poem#poem#poemsbyme#poetry#depressing poem#original writing#writing#long poem
pastry-child
To Inspire
To think
to have an idea
it's interesting to me
I struggle so much with it
but then
It hits me
That just looking at a single moment in my life
I can have so much to say
of how thoughts and feelings consume me
of how I struggle with who I am
or of who I become
Inspiration is everywhere
in the complaints of others
in the way we breath
how we see and touch
every single sense can inspire
just being able to think can inspire as well
but what means most is other people who are inspired by you
how you can change just one life with a single set of words
with just being honest
or lying to ones face
it can change perspective
It can Inspire
#original poem#poem#poemsbyme#poetry#original writing#long poem#writing
pastry-child
Drown it Out
music loudly pours into my ears
it's the only overwhelming feeling that i will ever welcome
to cover everything else
so that it's just me alone in my head
to speak to myself and to ponder
it is but one of my desires
yet it is one of the most prevalent
the outside world is gone
drowned out by song
by memories and stories that burst forth
by each note and melody writing themselves in my mind
though drowning it out causes the loss of time
hours gone in instant
my life is flashing before my eyes
all because i drown everything in an attempt to see my stories
i have began to not only drown the world out
i have begun to drown myself out
shoving rationality under the water
submerging it with music, reading, and the ideas that form from them
i will forever in the back of my mind drown at least one thing
but today i will only drown one thing
the things that stand in my way
all i can think about it is
Drown it Out
#original poem#poem#poemsbyme#poetry#original writing#writing#long poem#maladaptive daydreaming
pastry-child
Endless
The dark water swirled
I couldn't help but stare
it entranced me
as it circled repeatedly
only one thought entered me
one thought not of my own
As it called upon me
the void reached
seemingly tangible as the ocean
But I knew otherwise
that this was not just water
It was but the endless void
Calling out to me
I knew to ignore it
but I have never been known for self restraint
The call of the void was something I usually ignored
but maybe for once
i should listen
as it keeps ringing in my ear it suddenly stops
and i turn to what ended it
A hand on my shoulder
a smile on their face
it ends
though I know it will be for a moment alone
The relief they provide is more important than anything they could ever give me
Whilst it is endless
it can be paused
#original poem#poem#poemsbyme#poetry#original writing#writing#depressing poem#long poem
pastry-child
Edge
I start sitting down
That's how it always starts
Confident where I am
But knowing that I'm always in danger
That confidence is misleading
It leads to my arrogance
To me beginning to stand
As I try to
I understand that I am putting myself in harm's way
Grabbing the railing I stabilize
Knowing that confidence in myself will be my doom
I still choose to test it
I push down and lift myself upon it
The railing that protects me
The railing is keeping me from falling
As I stand on the railing
All I notice is
The Edge
How it calls me
How the void sings out for me
Grasping at my ears
at my Mind
Trying to drag me into it
To be a part of it
I stand upon this railing
Feeling like I'm losing my balance
I wonder
If I topple over
What will become of me
#original poem#poem#poemsbyme#poetry#depressing poem#original writing#writing#long poem
pastry-child
Breaking & Withering
My are Scars more common than freckles
I have been there as era's change
and people grew apart
I have stared death down
and been pulled from the afterlife
Feel my pains and joys
Take my laughs and tears
For I know things
Feelings, failings, and cursed knowledge
It will make you crumble
So come on
Take it
Take my memories you monster
Take it all
#original poem#poem#poemsbyme#poetry#short poem#original writing#writing
pastry-child
sketchesandmatches
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ruhlare

saying "i adore your mind and way of thinking" is like touching the texture of another one's naked being. it's way more deeper and intimitate than physical touchs. you travel into the mind of another soul, and cannot get out, you are stuck adoring all the rooms full of art. the skin is nothing but a wall you penetrate to surf on a soul level into the being of another soul until you are intertwined.