Jonathan, visibly stressed, writing in his diary:
15 May:
Bitch you will not BELIEVE- he did the lizard thing again... not that I wait by the window every night just in case. That would be weird. I'll have to let him know we don't do that in England.
Tobacco propaganda worked so well on me, I think smoking is so hot. This is easily one of the top 7 most cringe things I find sexy, just totally manufactured by some dipshit Marlboro ad exec in a dipshit lab somewhere. My only saving grace is that abs do nothing for me
funnytwittertweets
“How many times have people used a pen or paintbrush because they couldn’t pull the trigger?”
— Virginia Woolf
tomgirlhysteria-deactivated2023
im literally living little treat to little treat
i’d like to think i’m funny
happy holidays! this is your yearly reminder that wrapping paper is NOT recyclable! it can even contaminate an entire neighborhoods recycling, and none of it can be recycled! please make sure to keep your wrapping paper separate from your recycling!
Reminder that brown paper and newspaper are cheap and easy to recycle, and you can make them look classy, vintage and/or fun and funky by adding a ribbon or coloured ink stamps!
HOWEVER DO NOT ADD PAINT OR OTHER ART SUPPLIES. This will make them non-recyclable again. BUT, ink is fine - it’s removed in the recycling process.
I did not know this!!
the fact that time passes and things change and people leave and you can only go back to a place physically and you will never be 14 15 16 again………….. i don’t understand how we are meant to endure that
are we not all camgirls in a mass surveillance state
“In the words of Mark Twain’s wife, Shania Twain, ‘that don’t impress me much’”