ouch i think i broke my vagina bones
OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
j0ules
we can just post whatever we want on this site and no one will question it huh
yes
Holding the laptop’s power button down because it’s crashed and there’s no other way to turn it off feels so unsettling. It makes me feel like I’m holding a cushion over its face while the life slowly ebbs out of it.
somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.
and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.
I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me
Me when not happy
I've been on a White People Expedition Diary kick recently. I see why Lovecraft was fucking obsessed with this as a framing device, they are insanely compelling.
July 17th, 1884: "Food supplies are low. The Dutchman has eaten so many dog livers that he is now hallucinating from vitamin A poisoning, which is a thing that can happen apparently."
July 18: "We kicked that faggy Austrian botanist into a ravine. Lmao. Had a lovely bath."
July 19th 1884: "The Dutchman has been confined to the sled. We have sacrificed our belts to restrain his movements, lest we lose another Austrian to his Poop Madness."
July 20th 1884: "The men are demanding I leave behind my bathtub. I will not."
My fave part of the doomed Franklin expedition:
The Salt Lake Tribune reports that the parent, who remains unidentified for privacy reasons, submitted their challenge on Dec. 11 along with an eight-page list of passages from the Bible that they found to be offensive and worth reviewing.
“Incest, onanism, bestiality, prostitution, genital mutilation, fellatio, dildos, rape, and even infanticide,” the parent wrote in their request. “You’ll no doubt find that the Bible, under Utah Code Ann. § 76-10-1227, has ‘no serious values for minors’ because it’s pornographic by our new definition.”
In their request, the parent goes on to say: “I thank the Utah Legislature and Utah Parents United for making this bad faith process so much easier and way more efficient. Now we can all ban books and you don’t even need to read them or be accurate about it. Heck, you don’t even need to see the book!”
id like to nominate Unidentified Utah Parent for president of their local school board and also Congress
kids today don’t understand what it was like to be 14 and tune into glee every week to watch whatever crimes against humanity ryan murphy had cooked up that week.
and we were happy about it.
this is the fucking funniest thing ive ever seen im in tears of laughter. (right axis) . this is a work of fucking art
As you all can see when I started to purchase $10 pocket knives at gas stations in late 2017 and continued to do so once a year every year the gap between my annual military expenditure and that of the U.S. quickly began to close.
here it is on one axis lmao
Thank you for this simplified lesson in what propaganda looks like.
Someone smarter than me has probably gone into the semiotics of it but this kind of non-graph -- whose primary purpose is to mystify readily available and perfectly readable information which suggests a conclusion disagreeable to the graphmaker -- it has to serve some function beyond simple lying. It has to reflect some kind of magical thinking, a belief in taking an inconvenient truth and physically overstriking it on printed paper as a form of curse. The reliability with which graphs like this appear on major news networks and prestige periodicals, where the audience includes the nation's most powerful businessmen and politicians, has to reflect some kind of ritual behavior. My money's on its use as propaganda itself being ritual behavior, a blunt assertion that the truth is whatever the powerful make of it. The availability to the public is not an accident and the clarification of how asinine it is by regime opponents seems to be part of the ritual
The information is being deliberately obscured to A) partially encrypt the information from the average persons understanding, and B) reify the information to a more abstract yet politically specific sense of Importance.
Imo this fits the definition of Occult. This graph has been Occluded.
my friend asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend because her parents are homophobic af but they ended up hating me so much that they were glad when she said she was gay task failed successfully
okay so
- be a goth. conservative christian parents don't approve of goth men. show up to their house wearing all kinds of satanic symbols if you can
- know more about religion than the parents. they'll try to introduce you to christianity because you don't exactly look like a christian but your dad's an ex priest and has a phd in theology so *cracks knuckles* you'll correct them on every little mistake they make
- call your fake girlfriend every annoying petname under the sun. i'm talking about babu, shmoopie, snuffleupagus. when you run out of annoying english terms of endearment call her shit like "my liver" or "my little cabbage" (actual greek terms of endearments but the parents won't know this they'll just think you're annoying :3)
- to continue this, talk to your fake girlfriend in the most high pitched annoying voice possible but talk in your regular voice to everyone else
stare at her older brother's ass for just a little too long- have an annoying laugh. think of sybil fawlty but a stereotypical villain playing a church organ in his castle
- let them quote bible verses to you. then ask "so when were those two destroyed for sodomy?". it's very funny to do this when judas kisses jesus, and it's even funnier when you've just corrected them over a minor mistake in church history
- ask WHY abraham was begging for sodom. it doesn't make sense to you why a good christian man would go and beg for tha-
- be over possessive of your fake gf (dont really do this, it's just an act)
go and fuck her brother in an alleyway.the parents won't know about this so it's an optional step- use words no one knows the meaning of. do this without realising because you always talk like that
- just be yourself! that's enough on its own to make them despise you tbh
yes
i kissed him on the lips infront of his parents and claimed it was the usual greek greeting between men is that enough for you
Are you…. Are you secretly dating her brother OP?
yes
I wonder why
Show up again to admit to dating the brother, but dress like a typical suburbanite and act like you've never met the parents before. Absolute power move.
asdgfgsjfh im totally doing this
want an update?
ofc you do
but i'm too tired to write all of what happened down right now so instead try to imagine the most awkward situation you've ever been in.
now multiply the awkwardness by 100
first of all i'm just gonna show the difference in what i was wearing
an example of what i would wear as my friend's fake bf:
and as my boyfriend's actual bf:
when my bf and i showed up his dad did such a double take
sooo yeah my bf told his parents he's gay, they looked surprised but told him it was fine... then they shared a look of pure horror (seriously, it was like they had just found out they're in the matrix) and said
"and uh. why is...he here?"
i went and introduced myself like we had never met before and said i was their son's boyfriend
:3
i've never seen two people look more angry before but they weren't gonna say anything because they had other family members over
the family members who had never met me before and therefore knew nothing about the fake relationship thing started asking me what faith i am. i said i was raised protestant, though i'm not very religious now, but that's something i want to change. i had never mentioned anything about being a protestant before and i had said several times that my family was greek orthodox but gaslight gatekeep girlboss
aaaand then the awkwardness began. those were probably the most awkward minutes of my life (we didn't stay for long because i thought the dad was gonna hit me [he probably was. i saw him clenching his fists several times]) and i don't think anyone has ever looked at me with such murderous intent as my bf's parents
update two electric boogaloo ig
i have a girlfriend now🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
Be the fucking chaos you want to see in the world.
The United Auto Workers are also negotiating new contracts with the big three US car manufacturers and have announced that they're prepared to strike if they can't get a fair deal.
Every article here is about a different strike!!!
Also, Cornell University apparently runs a very comprehensive live labor action tracker!
Welcome to ~~~hot labor summer~~~ yall
THIS IS IT
MY MAGNUM OPUS
POOL NOODLE AXOLOTLS
(and yes, they are lovers)
Encounter: Axoloodles, native fauna to naturally-occurring chlorinated pools and lazy rivers
In most media, Chloe would be a confident flirt as a punk rock character. That's why I love that Life Is Strange chose to make her a gay nerd instead.
All of her flirting is subtle. She tries to get a read on Max's sexuality by asking her which locker room she wants to enter the pool through. Which isn't a real indicator of anything.
She also makes jokes about Max making a move on her and then rewinding. Which is a little more straightforward, but could also be backpedaled as a joke if it didn't get the response she wanted. Just like when she asks Max to kiss her on a "dare" so she can make a move without backing herself into a corner if it goes wrong.
Then you compare that to Max who's two most defining character traits are that she's a bit awkward and also likes to watch the world more than participate in it. So with that in mind you'd assume her to be the easily flustered one who's just too overwhelmed by Chloe's presence.
But nope! Max initiates both kisses with no hesitation. She jumps for Chloe's lips in her room like a man in a desert seeing water. She has no fear of this blooming romance and embraces it in a very self confident way.
The point of this post is that Max is the one with the rizz while Chloe is a massive cringe fail. Which is an inverse of what it seems like it would be on the surface.