small child: [absolutely incomprehensible gibberish]

me:

small child: [absolutely incomprehensible gibberish]

me:

It’s with great pain that I must announce you were devoured by clowns.

Turn to page 14 to climb into the clowns jaws.

Turn to page 6 to turn around and walk away.

It’s with great pain that I must announce you were devoured by clowns.

It’s with great pain that I must announce you were devoured by clowns.

goals

2 PLAYER GAME HNNNGH

Oh my god

reblog if ur a cryptid gen z-millennial like me (born between 1994-2003)

What are we? Who are we?

We are groot

Uh Oh Sisters!

dan and phil shirt colors: 9/10

gray

friends: you literally laugh at everything what the fuck

me: no I don’t

also me: guys this image is so funny

So. 10th grade English class. We all come in one morning to find a balloon and a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort of thing. A couple of people try to ask her and she says we’ll get to it. She takes role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she’ll be back in a couple of minutes

Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So, y’know. Brief respite. We all sit and chat; one of the boys teasingly steals a girl’s balloon, but gives it back to her easily enough; it’s quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back, stops in the doorway, and just stares at us

After a long moment, she says, confused, “You didn’t pop the balloons.”

To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, “We’re allowed to pop them?” and immediately turns around and stabs his friend’s balloon with the pencil

There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop seatmates’ balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking her head. “I can’t believe you didn’t pop your balloons.”

Apparently we were starting Lord of the Flies that day and she wanted to demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment ever

thank god I’m not the only one

hey, we officially Do Not Deserve jason sweettooth william

all my love, thought and prayers to those in sri lanka.

where are the billionaires now??? three churches were bombed during easter services. where is the outrage and mourning, and signs of support?? 207 people are dead. 207.

the death toll is now at 290, with 500 people injured. the gofundme has less than $20k. white people care about brown tragedies challenge.

sitting on and touching warm rocks…………. now thats the good stuff…….

Are you….. A reptile ?

what are you a cop? mind your business 

you know the squip is evil right off the bat bc who or what would look at jeremy heere in those cute glasses and oversized cardigan that he always has pulled over his hands, and think, “i need to change that”???