the only video game tip one truly needs is “save your game immediately after doing anything that took effort or you will suffer”

I’ve had a bottle of wine and unfortunately this was the result

meanest person you've ever met: i'm so sick of being nice

#nicest person you've ever met*: i had a bad day now i'm an evil bloodsucking thundercunt [angrily presses button on microwave]

in the club getting psychosexual

Welcome to autism subway can i get you the same thing you've ordered here since you were 8

Just stop

why does needing and god forbid wanting feel so incredibly embarassing

#the answer is capitalism #no really #this idea that we should all be self sufficient #and the idea of toxic individualism #all perpetuated by the growth of capitalism #even if you dont live in a capitalistic country #it touches and rots everything #we are a species that THRIVED because we voiced needs and wants #and sought them out #and had the comfort of community #so it aches when we grow expecting to be somehow above All of that #Its wrong #some people can be and are comfortable being alone and only having rare needs and wants #but I feel like many simply pretend they dont #and are unhappy

OH so it's capitalism again. saying this i pick up a large rock

IYKYK

call my pussy a truffle the way your hog is hunting it down through the bush

Hey girl can i ask a sexual questian. How easily do you cry

The science behind THC + alcohol as a combination is literally soo interesting because it basically causes the crimson red duckling in your body to confront the serpent in the bronze vessel of your heart. Basically you feel good because the duckling is able to eat the harmonious seeds stored within the vessel and transfer these positive energies into your body. You can have bad highs when this happens if the duckling awakens the serpent and bites the duckling. The interesting part is when you ingest alcohol after THC because it floods the vessel and causes the serpent to fall into a deep sleep. The duckling never gets attacked by the serpent when this happens because it is unconscious and the duckling is actually able to get fat from the harmonious seed, which causes an enjoyable sensation.

canada lynx voted the animal of all time. Boy why are you so paws

put those thigns away

sending "?" to represent myself tilting my head like a dog

sending "!" to represent myself perking up w/ my ears/tail like a dog that just saw you grab the leash

Imagine being hungover in cowboy times

I would simply drink 'Dr Watkins' Miracle All Purpose Cureall SnakeOil' to be rid of the dreaded hangover in mere minutes