government: que es su madre single mom: esta aqui government: bueno, y que es su padre

single mom: **YO**

My friend's kid gave me pinkeye and I have been on a particularly fuckt up sleep schedule about it and dreamed an entire Italian Opera on the themes of heaven and hell and the power of love and recognition of the self in other and the tragedy of loving the idea of something rather than the thing itself and the dream ended with the phrase "-And then it was banned EVERYWHERE."

The plot starts off with a hybrid of Cinderella and the Taming Of The Shrew where a woman with her own daughter marries a Duke who has an older daughter, and then the Duke dies under "Mysterious circumstances".

But he leaves in his will that his fortune won't be disbursed until his daughter (the elder one) marries.

The elder daughter (like, 20ish?) is refusing to get married because her step-mother is trying to set her step-sister (age 12) with IDK A Medieval Italian supreme court judge?? (Age 65) , but the marriage can't go through until the Duke's fortune disburses and the mother can pay the dowry.

Other thing about the Eldest Daughter: She Always Speaks The Truth. Not only does she refuse to lie, but kind of like a retroactive Cassandra, everything she says is True. As you can imagine, this is not terribly popular In Fantasy Medieval Italian High Society.

The mother, big mad about being stuck with this stubborn, awkward girl, gets a Lawyer and a Bishop and a bunch of other authority figures to modify the will so that "Should the plague take my eldest, we will not be bereft *wink*" AKA if the eldest just dies or disappears without getting married, the mother will get the money anyway. (They all know she's going to kill the girl, but they're getting a cut.) The Step-Mother then, in true operatic fashion of Going Way Too Hard tortures the Elder daughter, and locks her in the basement to bleed out and die.

There, in the darkness, abandoned by God and the Law and Family etc. the daughter turns to the last thing she has left.

BLACK MAGIC

(Come on, it's Opera. Everybody knows Black Magic)

[image description in alt text.]

Reblog to escape containment, just curious here!!

[ID: a one-panel cartoon with a drawing and a caption. the drawing is of a mechanic looking under a car’s hood and another person looking on. under the car’s hood there is a menagerie: a hamster in a wheel, one of those static electric balls, a wiggly car dealership balloon guy, balloons, a keg, sports balls, a trumpet, a keyboard, a small telephone pole, and various other random items.

the caption reads:

“Here’s your problem: The cartoonist has no idea what the inside of a car looks like.”

/end ID]

Si hacen remake de los Vengadores ya tienen sustituto para Ojo de Halcón.

Alright your Discord avatar and tumblr avatar are locked in a closet for 7 minutes ala 7 Minutes In Heaven. What happens

wait im curious

this is excluding special circumstances (after going swimming, after doing a hairstyle with lots of product, before/after getting your hair done, etc)!

I wish lesbians were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr

11 FUCKING THOUSAND NOTES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHERE ARE YOU ALL COME DATE ME

ok

update: we are dating

update: we are married

update: we knocked up

This is the cutest story on the entirety of Tumblr, I swear to god!!!!!

Update: had a baby together

Update: he’s 1 year old today

Well this is adorable!

This is the top quality I want on my dash. No other post besides this and Mash Potato the dog matters on this site.

the fact that the original post was made back in 2012 and the 1-year-old baby update was as recent as 2021, the development and plot that happened within this post in an almost nine year timespan …this person truly Won tumblr

@x-ca1iber this is for you

Put your height in the tags

*didn't need to go into another medium to ship them

Please share for sample size

I read the comic somewhere around 2006-2008 at the latest. And I really wanted to ship Dreamling. I really did! They had a meaningful bond! And also I suffered from a severe case of the Fujoshis back in the day but yeah.

Do you know how hard I searched for fanfic? I found exactly two, and one was mostly gen unless you squinted. IN A GEOCITIES PAGE. Thus, I gave up.

This memory came back with hallucinatory force some months ago. Just. Geocities, y'all, not even the dubious grace of ff.net ^^;; I'm delighted this iteration is so amazing it sprung out such a fandom!

i'm curious

you can check which movie it was here!

pls reblog and put in the tags which movie it was :)

Hi new Tumblr users

Please know this sites hashtagging system is categorical and NOT clout based

Aka if I look up the “Wendell and Wild” tag, I should find clips, media, art and posts related to Wendell and wild ONLY. Same with any other random tag searched

If I spy a selfie, a random neighborhood, or any other kind of “insta” post trying to take likes for a popular hashtag, I’m reporting you for spam. Most other long term users will too and your acct will be fast tracked as a spam blogger and blocked.

You will not ruin the last non corporate site for us, especially by trying to treat this site like influencers matter. If you get popular, it’s bc you’re a clown w a skill not bc your hot or rich or skinny, got it?

#holy shit at people in the notes this isn't 'tyrannical' it's basic courtesy AND against the tos #the spam report button is easily accessible for this exact reason #cross tagging is absolutely reportable spam according to tos so just don't do it #it also doesn't get you any more notes it just pisses people off

Like for real guys: This is against TOS. It is not allowed. It is spam. IT is not less spam because you are not a botfarm. Don't do it.

Personality test, is 80f/26c too hot for you?

#frenemy goals