The Sparkle Palace

every gym leader is like “I lost!?! UNBELIEVABLE!” buddy you live in a world where every ten year old child has always been offered a free fire breathing monster at least once and you brought nothing to this fight but anthropomorphic flowers

gym leaders’ whole job is to provide a specific challenge, a battle of a certain type and difficulty level. if you’ve brought the tools and skills to complete that challenge, you’re going to win by design. the pokémon in that battle are probably not actually the strongest pokemon they have.

when gym leaders go “argh, how could i lose??” they’re acting to give your victory legitimacy because you’re 10. they’re like a villain cosplayer letting a baby knock them over. they’re being nice!!

This is the future liberals (me) want

This is better than bathroom signs with like an image of mermaids n shit. As much as we like to joke trans people aren’t actually cryptids

Computer please show me robots gay kiss. Please.

Please.

hi im the computer. you're getting that :)

Somewhere in the cloud, Saint Turing is smiling down on you and your request.

robots gay kiss real :]

been stuck with a terrible feeling that one of the episodes in the new black mirror season is gonna end with a title card like "the program you just watched was written by artificial intelligence" and they're going to be so smug about it and we'll all have to talk about it for weeks

oh hey apollo

lol

this duck LOVES pink drink

Humans will use tools and technologies to bring such joy to creatures that could not experience such pleasure by themselves.

he thinks he's being so smooth with his little face on my leg. i SEE you, villain

The devil works hard but that zipper working harder 😂🤩

It is a scientific fact that dresses make everyone look fine as fuck

so i accidentally went down a wikipedia rabbit hole and came across the funniest thing that's apparently been plaguing scientists for centuries

it's called "maxwell's demon" and it's so easy to learn but difficult to disprove. basically a tiny demon controls a trapdoor, letting some particles through, and eventually it changes the temperature of two gases without applying any work. the fact that actual physicists are fighting over this 💀

but most of all imagine the tiny demon that's doing all this. all of this impossible effort and for what. why is he doing this. what does he gain

*does a gay little violation of classical thermodynamics that pisses you off*

anyone else who is in a happily committed relationship notice that people’s line for where the “honeymoon” phase ends just extends ever into the future like some ominous axe they keep insisting will fall? 

in the beginning it was “oh your relationship is just starting!! of course you feel like she’s special and amazing, just wait a few months until the pattern of the relationship settles in” 

then a few months later is “oh you haven’t even been together a full year yet, wait until you’ve been together that long” 

then after a year it’s “well wait until you live together, that’s when it really happens- you’ll get annoyed by her habits and start taking things for granted” 

then after living together for a year they’re like “well actually it happens after living together for five years” 

I can’t help picturing myself in my 60s telling someone how breathtaking and wonderful my partner is and someone’s like “it’s cute how you’re still in that honeymoon phase, but just wait until you’re in your 70s, that’s when you really settle into the relationship” 

made this post over 5 years ago so here’s the update: we’re married, we’ve been living together for over half a decade (through moving, multiple periods of unemployment for both of us, covid lockdowns, emergency room visits, surgery recovery, etc.), and I continue to be very much in love with her. she is so fucking smart and thoughtful and amazing, and she gets hotter and more stunning every single day. I still blush when she says sweet things to me.

Earth 30 seconds after we send Elon Musk as our ambassador:

I would honestly prefer if these people just hornyposted about the guy instead of whatever this is

I could be ur angel… or ur devil

glass soup