Stephanie Pepper, Harley Quinn, 40’s, (2 of 2)
I know a guy, but the guy is Google
Shit is this how easy it is to make it look like I have mafia ties?
Oh a wise guy, eh?
shipping fictional characters together as an adult is actually very fun and i encourage it. it is also one of the worst things you can do to yourself and should not be attempted. it's very simple really.
pros of shipping fictional characters as an adult: having a more mature and experienced outlook on people and relationships actually opens up a lot of new funny, interesting, and even thoughtful ways of engaging with the concept of fictional people kissing. also, it's fun.
cons of shipping as an adult: you will inevitably form an extremely niche and personal interpretation of the relationship between your favorite fictional people who you want to smash together like barbie dolls or possibly on-fire waste disposal trucks, and become extremely annoyed by the popular fan interpretations that are bland and formulaic by comparison. but since you are also involved in the deeply cringe activity of getting emotionally invested in a fictional relationship you have no chance of being taken seriously if you complain about it, and therefore no choice but to try to ignore it and make your own content that is liked by 3 of your friends who are the only like-minded people you respect and that one account that likes everything you post anyway
yeah we might be brothers in christ but so were cain and abel so shut the fuck up before i decide to find a rock about it
Okay but hear me out
This doctor
Is much better unintentional autistic representation than this doctor
Who is intentionally made to be autistic
House isn't bad autistic rep in my opinion, he's just a shitty person who does really shitty things but otherwise if they slapped the label autistic on him instead of aspergers he'd make perfect sense as an autistic person with several trauma disorders
The episode where House treats the autistic kid (the one with the great Circle Queen scene), Wilson makes an appeal to Cuddy to let House have his old carpet back by reading get the DSM criteria for autism. He then goes to House and says "you're not Autistic, you're an asshole." My rebuttal to this is "he's Autistic AND an asshole"
His entire carpet tantrum was some of the most autistic asshole shit I've ever seen and I understood it deep in my soul
He refused to work in his office because they removed his carpet that bloodstained when he was shot. They changed his space suddenly and without asking, disrupting his routine and comfort. He protests by taking over other people's offices, the chapel, the clinic lobby, etc. He eventually gets his old bloodstained carpet back. It has to be HIS carpet.
And I FELT THAT.
This should not be hidden in the notes
I will always be a normal guy defender, I don't want vigilantes who always look like super models unless it makes sense for their characters (Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Kori Anders). I want super-heros that look like the guy you could stumble on the supermarket. Your classmate. Your coworker. A random face in a ocean of people. Absolutely and completely forgetful unless you love them.
I want super-heros to take of their mask and the person be like "THAT'S JUST SOME GUY." their face leak and people be like "WHO 🗣️🗣️ THE FUCK IS THAT⁉️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥" enough with conventionally attractive heros who look like bodybuilders more some heros who would be your Uber driver and you wouldn't pay attention to them twice.
you called???
shit not you
ok and???
HOW MANY OF YOU ARE THERE
don't do this to me
im here too!
joke is over
im being hit over the head multiple times with comically large mallets by a bunch of clowns rn
AHHHHHH YOU'RE KILLING ME
no i am
i am simply a ghost now
no dats me
this post is rapidly spirally out of control
Spirally
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK
yes :3
No one in the Batfam has the heart to tell Tim that he's lost his intimidation factor ever since the day they walked in on him yelling at Bruce and Jason whispered that it looked like a chihuahua challenging a great dane
This joke came to me in a fit of laughter (ALT description provided :3!)
Family Tells All: Scandals, Heartbreak, and the Divorce That Shook Gotham
Article by Clark Kent
Published 4/20/2023
TMZ called them the perfect couple. Entertainment Weekly penned them as the dream family. Thus, the news of Bruce Wayne and Batman's split rocked the very core of the Gotham psyche. But what really happened between the CEO and the mysterious vigilante?
The commonly and grossly simplified perception is that Bruce Wayne had an affair with local jewel expert Selina Kyle, leading to the divorce. But a recent inside interview with Nightwing debunks that.
"Looking back, the problems were there from the start," he stated in a comment to the Gotham Gazette. "Mr. Wayne, while charming, was also a workaholic up to his neck with both his family and his company. Batman was similar, always writing up another case or away on a mission. But they were so alike that they should, in theory, be compatible."
Mr. Wing then elaborated on how Batman and Bruce Wayne's schedules caused early conflicts.
"Date nights were always difficult. It felt like they were planning around themselves rather than making time for each other."
Dick Grayson-Wayne, Bruce Wayne's eldest son, stated that despite those issues, the couple still decided to take the next step in their relationship.
"Wayne Manor was big enough that moving in was easy. I liked having the extra company—Nightwing and I got along especially well," he said. "I think the logic was that living together might make it easier to spend more time without the formalities of dating."
Despite their day-and-night lifestyles, both Wayne and Batman appeared content with the arrangement. Two years later, they quietly announced their marriage during their summer getaway to Star City. The world was taken by the couple. However, their lives came to a head with the sudden and unexpected death of 15-year-old Jason Todd-Wayne.
"It was… really hard. Jason had so much going for him," Grayson said. "That's when the blame started. My dad blamed Batman and honestly, I did too. But ultimately what happened was out of everyone's control."
Some outlets speculate that this may also be when Wayne began seeing Kyle. When rumors initially arose, Wayne denied them and said Kyle was simply a colleague. In an attempt to make amends, Wayne and Batman took on two same-aged boys. One was Tim Drake, the son of famed archeologists Jack and Janet Drake, shortly following their own family history being revealed to the public. The other was the tactical genius Red Robin.
"It's a tale as old as time," Drake said in a podcast with Oracle. "They thought more kids was the solution."
However, while Drake went on to become Wayne Enterprises' youngest executive, Red Robin would take a much different path. He would be accused of using Wayne's generous batarang budget to embezzle a second unauthorized Batmobile, though no substantial proof of this would surface. After the arrival of new siblings and deaths of his teammates, Superboy and Impulse, Red Robin began branching away from the family.
Spoiler, a close Batman ally, confided in a web interview: "[Red Robin] is better than Batman at asking for help, but that doesn't say all that much. He was really going through it, y'know. Secret solo missions, all that. He made a lot of people worry and I think it just added to the tension at home." This sentiment was later echoed by Batman's daughter, Orphan, in a Twitter thread. And the stress only increased with Tim Drake's injuries at the hands of an unnamed perpetrator.
The second major turn of events occurred when Batman adopted a much more morally dubious vigilante, Red Hood, into the fold. According to sources, Wayne was not happy about Hood's methods and it led to frequent arguments, both between parent and child as well as the fracturing couple.
"The problem was Hood was enough like Jason to press the right buttons, but also different enough to press the wrong ones," Wayne's cousin, Kate Kane, told People magazine. Whether Wayne and Hood ever settled on good terms is still unclear.
"It was at this time Master Bruce began seeking more frequent solace from Miss Kyle," said the family butler, who requested to remain anonymous. "The stress of losing one child and having others go wayward had taken a toll. He recently embarked on an extended vacation in an attempt to clear his mind, but I don't see how that does anything when he's returning to the same chaotic environment."
However, it appears the disloyalty was occurring on both sides. In a TikTok posted by user @Parkrowrow, Batman was spotted in the background getting intimately close with the recently reformed thief Catwoman.
"They were definitely going all the way," Harley Quinn, a friend of Catwoman, alleged. "Kitty wouldn't go for someone happily married—even crooks have standards. So something tells me she knew there was more going on."
Quinn's intuition would soon prove correct. Weeks later, divorce papers were served.
"No one was really surprised," Duke Thomas, Bruce Wayne's newest son, said. "I haven't been around as long as Dick or even Damian, but Bruce and Batman had this tension that you could sense when you walked into the room."
Bruce Wayne's youngest, Damian Wayne, agreed. "As unfortunate as it may be, it was inevitable."
The divorce proceedings turned out to be a tumultuous journey as both parties were determined to come out on top. Wayne threatened to remove all vigilante funds if he didn't gain full custody of the minor children. The televised courtroom battle included witness testimonies from Batwing and Huntress to the precautions Batman takes.
"Batman is flawed like the rest of us, but I want the court to know that he does not use force or coercion on any of his wards," Mr. Batwing stated.
Ms. Huntress added, "His kids are like him—stubborn and determined. With or without the Bat, they'll just go ahead and do it, so why not choose the safer option with an experienced mentor?"
To this, Wayne tearfully responded that he "[didn't want] any more dead kids."
Dr. Leslie Thompkins, the family's physician, sided with Wayne, citing the various injuries incurred on duty as well as Tim Drake's hospital records and Jason Todd's autopsy report.
"The dangers outweigh the vision of justice," she said.
After court-ordered home inspections and psychiatric evaluations of both parties, the judge declared that custody of the minors—Damian Wayne, Duke Thomas, Robin, and the Signal—would be split 50-50. [Editor's note: Tim Drake and Red Robin were both legally emancipated minors at the time of the trial.]
"It's not my ideal," Wayne admitted, "but I have faith that my family will get through this. The only thing I can do now is wish Batman and his birds the best of luck."
As of this article's publication, Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle are celebrating their one-year anniversary while Batman and Catwoman recently made their relationship official.
Whether there's a lesson to this story can be debated to the moon and back. What can be said is the resilience displayed by the the family will live on in the collective memory of Gotham City.
© Daily Planet Entertainment 2023
Why Tumblr? Why do you, an actual celebrity, a famous writer, use Tumblr of all websites?
(The actual celebrity and famous writer sits back in his rocking chair, surveys the world of Tumblr, from his porch. He chews meditatively on a straw, and then he says:)
TACAFW: Y'see, I've been here for nigh on twelve years now, which in new-fangled internet years is about four hundred years... yup, I remember when all this wuz just folks trading photos of cats, and I remember when over there, where it's now just waste land, that whole part of town was whut we used to call 'Not safe for work" -- hooey, I don't know where those folks went, when they got driv out of town -- but me, through those twelve years, I've just been in this old rockin' chair on this old porch, and I've seen 'em come and I've seen 'em go... I guess I mus' just' like it here...
[ID: A picture of Neil Gaiman wearing an old-fashioned jacket with popped collar and a Stetson pulled low over his eyes, leaning back in his rocking chair with his boots propped up on an upside-down washing pan, saying “They came for gold an’ glory, but all they could find were sexbots an’ kittens. So they left. But I stayed. I stayed.”]
green day: i walk these empty streets on the boulevard of broken dreams when the city sleeps and i’m the only one and i walk alone
eight year old me:
disappearingxgirl
21 year old me:
emilnekolakofola
10 year old Czech me with zero knowledge of English:
36 year old me:
26 year old me
I love the headcanon that none of the Bats are supers, but over time? Gotham is slowly messing them up, one by one.
Bruce smiles at Clark one day in the Cave, and his eyes reflect the light back like a wolf's
Jason suddenly has tiny fangs, but nobody has the nerve to mention it
Alfred literally doesn't die
Dick can jump higher and faster than ever before, but barely notices it
Tim is awake for three days straight and doesn't blink
They're all subtly, but noticeably different. Gotham-blessed, or cursed, or something in between.
Could be interesting if Gotham had the opposite effect on supers from other cities - a sort of supernatural extension of B’s no outside metas rule.
In the early days of Clark starting to work with Batman he notices he feels a little drained when he spends too much time in Gotham, like his powers aren’t coming as easily. Maybe he chalks it up to how much smog there is; how little sunlight gets through the clouds. Maybe this slowly goes away after he’s been working with Bruce for a while and they start to trust each other. At first Clark figures he’s building some sort of tolerance, but maybe somewhere down the line he realizes there’s more to it.
You can’t be a meta in Gotham without the city’s approval.
Tim: I have never read a book in its entirety. I refuse. If I never read the ending then I can create my own ending however I see fit. It's the closest I'll come to godhood
Jason: that's the dumbest-
Dick: wait I think he's onto something. Imagine giving a every book you read a happy ending
Tim: happy? Interesting I've never considered that option
Damian: so you don't know how anything ends? That explains all your poor planning
Duke: What about textbooks?
Tim: if it was important they'd tell me in the earlier chapters
Jason: so what you're saying is-
Tim: I do not know how to change the batmobile tire that was in the very back of the manual
Jason: do tell how you decided that one ended
Tim: I called the people I trusted most in the world to come help me and like a true loving family they did
Dick: awww, of course we'll help-
Damian: absolutely not. Consider this a lesson in finishing what you started
Tim: I'm not above bribery. Pick an animal. Any animal. I'll have it in the manor by sunset tomorrow
Duke: I'm actually with Damian on this one- you should learn from this
Jason: also the dog dies at the end of Marley and Me
Tim, with a monotone voice: in my version they all died
Dick, Damian, Duke, Jason: ...
Damian: *tt* I expect a giraffe in the lobby by daylight
Jason: fine I'll help too but I'm stealing the hub caps
Duke: I'll come up with a believable cover story
Dick: some things never change❤️
So, I’ve been pulled over a few times in my life. Not many, but a few. And I’ve also been in a couple of cars that got pulled over. And let me tell you, if you were actually doing something wrong, the officer doesn’t make any small talk, just straight into “I clocked you doing 70 in a 55.” The only time I’ve ever gotten the “do you know why I pulled you over?” was the time when I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and I got let go even though he insisted to the end that I was doing 87 in a 70 (white privilege at work).
“Do you know why I pulled you over?” is a trap. It means there’s a good chance the officer doesn’t actually have a good reason to ticket you, and is trying to get you to waive your 5th Amendment rights and incriminate yourself. If you make a guess, that’s a confession of guilt.
But there’s another trap, that I’ve heard of but haven’t yet experienced. It’s “do you know how fast you were going?” With that one, they’re hoping you’ll say no, because then they can name whatever speed they want – you just said you didn’t know how fast you were going, if you deny the speed they name then you’re lying to them.
Oh, I’ve had that one. Go with “yes.” Don’t give them a number, just say “Yes.” Then they still have to offer a number and you can deny it without contradicting yourself. They could just ask you, at that point, but that’s suspiciously similar to saying they don’t know, and they tend to avoid doing that.
fattyatomicmutant
Reblog to save a life
suspiciouslysharklike
if you scroll past this just because it doesn’t affect you personally, i see you.
Also, you can always go to court and contest a ticket, and a lot of times you’ll win. Or if the cop thinks you’ll win they won’t even show up and you’ll win by default.
They like to target out of state plates because anyone who would be majorly inconvenienced by a court date two months away is a lot more likely to just pay it.
th3d0n
The $100-200 it usually costs to hire a ticket attorney is well worth it.
I love the headcanon that none of the Bats are supers, but over time? Gotham is slowly messing them up, one by one.
Bruce smiles at Clark one day in the Cave, and his eyes reflect the light back like a wolf's
Jason suddenly has tiny fangs, but nobody has the nerve to mention it
Alfred literally doesn't die
Dick can jump higher and faster than ever before, but barely notices it
Tim is awake for three days straight and doesn't blink
They're all subtly, but noticeably different. Gotham-blessed, or cursed, or something in between.