there is. lizard in the house. what is the polite way to deal with this situation?

i am lacking in social niceties. what are the rules of hospitality in this particular circumstance? truly I've no wish to be rude

I guess maybe trap them under a cup and put them outside?

attempted to diplomatically put forth this suggestion, at which point negotiations broke down. the lizard has scampered, and is currently hiding either within or behind the closet. tumblr please instruct on proper protocol

according to tumblr, the lizard is now my roommate and best friend. thank you for your research assistance!

in conclusion, I will google "how to convince your roommate/best friend to come out of the closet," and follow the expert instructions I will no doubt encounter. I feel qualified now to deal with the situation. many thanks tumblr acquaintances!

there's construction happening outside and i woke up this morning, hazily thought "goddammit the wizards are fighting again," and rolled over and went back to sleep

oh good tags: #one time I woke up in the middle of the night and saw a shadowy figure standing in front of my window. I didn't pay it any mind and instead decided to roll over and fall back asleep. later on in the morning did I find out that the figure was in actuality my step-dad coming to close my cracked open window. pretty crazy to think about how it could have been some creep who had come to murder me in my sleep and I straight up didn't care. #come to bring my life to a grizzly end in the dead of night? #alright! #just give me five more minutes thx

more good and deeply concerning stories from the notes!

#once there was a house fire at the house next to us and it was QUICKLY spreading, and I tried to wake my sister up so we could evacuate our house. and she said "wake me up when it becomes an issue" and went back to sleep. #i…

#our house was fine. the house next door burned totally to the ground

#fun fact once i woke up in the middle of the night#and i could have sworn i heard some guy climbing up the brick walls of our house#thought i was dreamin#went back to sleep#next morning the house was robbed and nobody had any idea how he got in-- windows all closed#doors still locked#but i know in my heart of hearts he came down the chimney

Im sorry what

what's not clicking here

ME ON YOUR FOLLOW BUTTON

and i have earned that

I demand vampires with parent issues. the parents in question have been dead for 7 centuries but their immortal offspring still bring them up every week in therapy

and no i don't mean their vampiric sire aka the rando who bit them in the woods one night and fucked off. i mean like the 14th cent stonemason who refused to let his kid apprentice with a traveling bard, because that's just not solid steady work, not like this here cathedral we've been building for generations, this is a respectable family business my lad, a blessing fallen right into your lap! and you going on and on about the hurdy-gurdy. traveling minstrel indeed!

not usually a fan of bible verses, but idk Job 30:29 has something special

Oh this verse goes hard

But for context (sort of): It's about how Job's emotional state at the moment (not good, crying a lot bc greif) makes him very similar to creatures that move like they're wailing.

So basically, it's this (half joking) (in the way that it's a sad creacher)

it is so important to me the people reading this post are aware the verse in question translates to "I am a brother of jackals and a companion of ostriches"

*raises my hand to ask a question* what if we collectively refused to refer to AI as 'AI'? it's not artificial intelligence, artificial intelligence doesn't currently exist, it's just algorithms that use stolen input to reinforce prejudice. what if we protested by using a more accurate name? just spitballing here but what about Automated Biased Output (ABO for short)

I've been informed that in australia, "Abo" is a slur against Aboriginal people. therefore a respectful and clear differentiation must be made:

in summary: a more descriptive, respectful, and practical term for Artificial Intelligence is, quite logically, A/B/O

#since AI is a rapidly emerging business...it would be accurate to say that tech is currently an A/B/O Dynamic industry

there is. lizard in the house. what is the polite way to deal with this situation?

i am lacking in social niceties. what are the rules of hospitality in this particular circumstance? truly I've no wish to be rude

I guess maybe trap them under a cup and put them outside?

attempted to diplomatically put forth this suggestion, at which point negotiations broke down. the lizard has scampered, and is currently hiding either within or behind the closet. tumblr please instruct on proper protocol

NASA took a pic of the dark side of the moon fyi

This looks like someone badly photoshopped the moon in front of the earth, and lazily added a drop shadow effect behind it.

it's the public funding cuts 😞

I cannot believe my dash did this.

[writes about Jesus but it’s actually about being trans] [writes about being trans but it’s actually about Jesus]

fellas is it GAY to go to church?!?!?!?

Night Vale First Ward

We are all enlisted 'till the conflict is over. What conflict, you ask? Why, our on going blood feud with the Quakers on the moon, of course. We will not stop until the moon shines red with their blood.

On a related note: The pinewood Derby has been cancelled. Instead, the youth are invited to help build a powerful catapult capable of launching Sister Bjornson to the moon to finally deal with those Moon freaks.

Tumblr: No NSFW! You know how it is we banned it because of the bots in 2018!

Also tumblr:

lmao

You know how it is then, folks!

MANUAL BLAZE MODE GO

….am I allowed to say “whovians, grab your TARDISes?” You know how it is.

Tumblr loves doing this.  I tried to make a post about the ads that showed actual human penises in them, with screenshots, and it was taken down for violating community guidelines.... unlike the ad, I guess?

grabbing new writers by the shoulders. it is important to write what you love and to love what you write. if you spend all your time trying to make something other people will approve of you will hate yourself and everything around you. learn at your own pace. you have time. i’m proud of you

it's so wild when people complain about religious inclusion like "oh so you think THEY should get special privileges/accommodations to do x, y, or z??"

and the things they're talking about are like. exceptions to rules or norms that in themselves shouldn't exist. yes Richard, we actually should have diverse meal options at work events to accommodate people with different diets. yes, people should be allowed to take time off to be with their family during whatever holidays or life events they so choose. yes, people should be able to wear clothing that makes them comfortable. nobody should be happy about these restrictions existing. stop bitching about the singular jewish or muslim person in your workplace and realize that everyone deserves better.

Additionally,

he's a national treasure actually

real