You will all be overjoyed to know that this was apparently a commercial pattern… in like 1993. If you can find the out of print booklet, this glorious specimen of fashion can be yours.
after all these years……..terror fish lives
“omg ur so quirky for not wearing makeup” people want so bad for not wearing makeup to be just as much of an active, effortful gesture as wearing makeup so they don’t have to acknowledge how much added labor they go through each day because to do so would be implicitly conceding that the act of wearing makeup has a cost. too bad though because, baby, we are genuinely just waking up in the morning and walking out the door without thinking twice about it
Making a mamianqun (馬面裙; lit. horse face skirt). Mamianqun can be traced back to the Song Dynasty and was in vogue from the Ming and Qing Dynasties until the Republican era. The skirt consists of two overlapping sections of fabric sewn together, each with a pleated section and skirt panels on either side. The skirt panels are overlapped to create the front and back of the skirt. This design allowed greater freedom of movement.
A note: Mamianqun are women's wear, but with the hanfu revival movement, men nowadays wear it too.
[eng by me]
my favorite bit of "rich people are Like That" ephemera that I picked up from my Russian literature binge was from a noble character who was complaining about his serfs neglecting their duties, specifically the duty of staying up all night long slapping the pond water in order to prevent the frogs from croaking so that the nobleman could enjoy his sleep at his country estate with its adorable pond. whenever I hear wealthy people's complaints in this day and age the majority of it automatically filters to "the fucking serfs won't slap the pond anymore and it's honestly so destructive and cruel of them to deny me my beauty sleep like this" type statements
FOOLS
A DOOR DOES NOT GRANT PASSAGE THROUGH A BARRIER. A HOLE IS WHAT GRANTS PASSAGE THROUGH A BARRIER. A DOOR EXISTS TO DISABLE THE PERMEABILITY OF A HOLE IN THE WALL. THEREFORE, IT IS PERFORMING ITS INTENDED FUNCTION WHEN IT IS CLOSED, AND DISABLED WHEN SOMEONE WISHES TO PASS THROUGH A WALL
"WORKING AS INTENDED" - TUMBLR USERS WHEN THEY LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN AND SUBJECT THEIR HOUSE TO DRAFTS AND STORMS AND ANTS AND UNSCRUPULOUS ROGUES AND NOSY GRANDMOTHERS AND VAMPIRES AND THE TEN PLAGUES OF EGYPT
I do not approve of tomfoolery on my dash, everyone open a book and start reading
Sounds great! Let me just see what I’ve got on my bookshelf
Wow… Looks interesting! I wonder if I could learn anything from it.
You would have this at your disposal wouldn't you you impish clown
Pressing questions
Did medieval witches baby-talk to their familiars?
“Who be the finest rat in all of this hamlet? Be it thou? Be it thou?? Yes it be!”
Corollary question: did they come up with the same kind of brain-drivel I spit at my dog?
“I hath thine foot. It be mine now. Thou need'st the wheel of a very small ox-cart to replace thine foot.
Okay. I will lease thee thy foot, so thou no longer need'st the wheel, for I be very generous. Thou be welcome, small friend.”
Dolce Far Niente by John William Godward (1897)
Was making food to bring over to my grandfather so i made him a little chicken pot pie (I know it looks like shit you need to be nice to me) and i cut out some letters in the pastry to spell out “Papa” for him, because that is what he is called, and i thought it would be Nice, but it backfired somehow and now i have to hand him a fucking fap pie. fuck my baka life
I don't know who needs to hear this, but
YOU DO NOT NEED TO START A NEW HOBBY!
STEP AWAY FROM THE TEXTILES!
YOU DON'T NEED MORE YARN!
THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!
boy it's me the textiles speaking to you inside your head. you need the yarn. you need thread. your soul hungers to participate in the act of creation. you must feed it. you must buy so many beads.
this is the funniest fucking billboard possible. who the fuck paid for this