Its embarrassing to have my mask off now. Thats too intimate. My coworkers don’t know me like that

Today my wife texted me this, and then immediately called me to make sure I got it because it was “an urgent message”.

My mom got tired of me making fun of her “Live Laugh Love” sign and modified it.

10% Luck; 20% Skill; 15% concentrated doctor of phil

Can I interest you in some…car insurance?

(via)

lately there have been too many days like in a row

what’s your unpopular opinion

Cheese cake is disgusting

I’m crying 😂😂😂

Mated turtles share their shells!

Not always but often when a pair of turtles mates, the male will leave his own shell and move in with the female. After doing so the couple will coordinate their arm and leg movements to walk and even swim.

I call this “Trying to get notes with false facts.”

I assure you, Facts-I-Just-Made-Up would never post false facts just to get notes. I also do it to confuse, misinform, and hurt people.

what is it about capybaras that attracts groups of small animals to them? Its not just mammals either its like birds and turtles and frogs too

look at this shit

They radiate peace

capybaras are friend shaped

I love this post

This is actually a cool thing I know about!

In the wild capybaras live in large groups so naturally a female capybara will take care of not only her own offspring, but all of the other offspring in the group. So capybaras are super great mothers who will adopt pretty much anything and take care of it.

Lots of places that rescue different animals will give a group of baby animals to a capybara to raise if they have one.

Like puppies

Ducks

Deer

Emus

They are just super calm animals so they’re naturally great at mothering or just existing in a group!

mom shaped

clavid:

On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

one crack cocaine

hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

debit or credit

I actually have a gift card

Stranger Things s3 prediction:

The Monster™: *physically shows up*

Joyce Byers:

How to compliment me:

I️ personally really related to this post.

vine being deleted really is the burning of alexandrias library of our time

honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp

And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him

my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that

I once dreamed that a giant meteor was headed for earth, and the government had set up loudspeakers throughout the cities so Obama could give a final address - I’ll never forget how strangely comforting it was when he said “there are places we’ve never been before. Some of us have never been to the Alps, some of us have never been to Marrakesh. The next life is simply another place we’ve never been before, and we’re all going to go explore it together.” 

I had a dream my family housed the Obamas for a weekend and one morning Obama made us oatmeal for breakfast and, looking at my disappointed face because I don’t like oatmeal, he said “regardless of what we taste, if we eat together, we are happy.”

Once I dreamt that Michelle Obama was running a campaign to give homes to all the feral pigeons and her husband came to my house and gave me a pamphlet that just had a picture of a pigeon on it and he looked me in the eyes and said “who would you be without them?”

Stranger Things Stranger Things 2 Strangers and Things 2 Strange 4 Things 5 Things The Strange and the Things: Tokyo Drift Strangest 7

I just found some dudes blog who wants like a human pet? Like a literal human pet and just like??? Why are some of y'all Like This™??

There is no rebuttal here.

You haven’t actually presented an argument for why having a human pet would be wrong.

You think having a human pet is wrong???? PROVE IT!!!!!!!!!’