@overwatchagainstbullshit / overwatchagainstbullshit.tumblr.com
CHECK OUT WHAT I JUST SAW AT THE ZOO.
Y’ALL.
I DON’T EVEN PLAY OVERWATCH BUT I SCREAMED.
Y’all can be screaming every time you see a gorilla
OK, maybe you haven’t played Overwatch – he looks just like this guy
So I think one of the zookeepers must have been an Overwatch fan… Awesome
It was the coldest night in Overwatch 2. The wind howled and the snow was blowing hard down the chimney of Overwatch 2's world.
"Let's put another log on the fire" said Reaper.
"I'll make some tea that should keep us warm" said Moira.
"I don't want anything, I'll wear my coat" said Tracer.
The wind was howling hard. It was the darkest night in Overwatch 2.
The tumblr app got bugged and I legit thought this was all straight faced nonverbal shitposting
This is how I read all posts about overwatch
sometimes i just think about Overwatch and just get sad
Like, you drop the most inescapably popular and influential shooter of an entire generation, with a cast overflowing with some of the most instantly iconic characters we've ever seen, that captures a fanbase which is so eager to learn about any aspect of these characters that they start willfully lapping up character trailers and ARGs as though those are good forms of storytelling for games in order to get just the vaguest taste of what this world offers,
And then proceed to single-handedly fumble the bag so bad that the primary legacy the game can claim to have is using that promise of a story to bait-and-switch it's fans into buying an incomplete sequel that was rushed into production because you punished a Hearthstone player for being pro-democracy, being the final needle to pop the e-sports speculator bubble there by financially draining nearly every competitive gaming scene to the brink of bankruptcy (at best), and having indirectly lead to advancements in 3D animation because your game effectively has it's own category on pornhub. Oh, also, you alienated the director of the game so hard that he leaves the company and seemingly retires from the entire gaming industry.
Only a room full of the most cynical and dollar horny suits imaginable could fuck this up so bad. I'm not even mad at this point. Just saddened on behalf of everyone on the dev team who actually gave a shit and embarrassed on behalf of the lootbox blinded execs who didn't.
tracer:
Wintson:
truly obsessed with blizzard confirming the shimadas to be 16 and 19 years respectively older than. their childhood friend. children playing with a still unfertilized egg inside a womans womb. small girl having the shit beaten out of her in training with two 20somethings.
imagine if you like bought a house and the realtor that sold you the house came by and did maintenance every couple months and it was a pretty good arrangement until one day they stopped doing maintenance and things started breaking them and you called them up and they were like 'surprise! we've decided what this house is really missing is a pool so we're going to build a whole new house for you that has a pool we are so excited about this pool' and you were like 'is this a deflection from your sexual harassment lawsuit you're involved in' and they were like 'the pool is going to be so cool!' and hung up and you didn't hear from them for years and then they called you up again and were like 'good news! we've built the new house, why don't you move in' and you were like 'oh, the one with the pool?' and they were like 'wellll yeah but we haven't actually installed the pool yet but when we do it's going to totally transform how you live in your house so you can see the value' and you were like 'i don't know i think i'll stay in this one' and they were like 'hmm yeah sorry actually you can't we're blowing the old house up with dynamite' and you were like 'what? why?' and they were like 'so that you're not split between your old house and the new one' and you were like 'um, fine' and you drove over to the new house and there was no pool or space for a pool and the realtor showed up to gave you the keys and you were like 'this house looks identical to the old one, i don't really understand why you did this' and they were like 'aha! you see, the old house had six rooms, this one has five!' and you were like 'that sounds worse, though' and they were like 'no you see with only five rooms it will be much easier to do maintenance on the house' and you were like 'but you haven't done that for months' and they were like 'yeah that was the old house which we've just blown up with explosives this is the new house' and you were like 'so how's that sexual harassment lawsuit going' and they leaped acrobnatically into their car like a trapeze artist and zoomed away and you went into the house and saw a coin slot on the bathroom door and called them and you could hear the background noise of a courtroom and they said 'yeah so you have to pay five dollars every time you use the bathroom now, it's our new monetization plan' and you were like 'well this is bullshit i feel like this house is just straight up worse' and they were like 'noo listen the pool is going to be so cool it's going to be so good we promise there'll be a diving board and a tiki bar and those water jets that give young people sexual awakenings' and you were like 'well okay' and they were like 'we've been building this pool for four years trust us it's going to be good' and then you didn't hear from them for a long long time except occasionally when they showed up to do maintenance and if you asked about the pool they just winked meaningfully and asked if you wanted to pay a $15/month fee for a bathroom pass giving you unlimited flushes and toilet paper. and this went on for a year until one day you got a voicemail 'dear resident. we're not going to build the pool lol' and you called them back like 'well what the fuck did you demolish my old house for' and they were like 'we actually gave up on the whole pool like two years ago but we did a whole announcement and it would have felt sooo awkward to walk it back' and you were like 'what the fuck have i been paying five dollars to use the toilet for over these last two years!' and they were like 'listen buddy if you don't like it you can buy the bathroom pass' and then they hung up on you . anyway that's what happened with overwatch 2
As of August 2023 they've called you up again to be like "surprise, we built the pool! But it's about the size of a hot tub and you have to pay $15 to unlock access to it. Also, whenever you get in the pool, a Jumbotron-size screen next to the pool starts playing Fox News and you can't turn it off or change the display to anything else. would you mind leaving us a positive review"
How is she supposed to bench press d.va with noodle arms, blizzard better fix this, it's a crime
those motherfuckers really untumblrized her
One day I'll do my big fat rant here about Overwatch's story and how it's a massive disappointment in narrative writing.
Like, Overwatch has, when you really take a look at it, one of the worst fantasy/sci-fi racism allegories in popular media. It's so badly executed. They did everything wrong: equating robots that can literally have their free will turned off to human minorities, distasteful references to BLM protests, using Black Panther rhetoric to vilify evil political radicals. Everything.
Normally I would 100% separate the artists from the writers because they're two entirely separate departments, and the artists on OW are great, but I gotta bring this up. Of all the awful OW2 redesigns, Pharah's pisses me off so much. Not only are you gonna get rid of the kick-ass engravings along her armor, referencing hieroglyphs and scarab exoskeletons:
But how do you walk backwards on basic armor design and forget to segment Pharah's torso? Her torso! Isn't! Segmented! It's just one flat plate! She can't physically bend over! She can't twist her body! She's gonna pull her spine apart!!! This is literally Armor Design 101! SEGMENT YOUR TORSOS!
In terms of writing, Overwatch is just... so ill-equipped to tackle geopolitics and racial discourse. It's so funny seeing how hard they came out the gate swinging on 'omnics are just like racial minorities' at first with the shorts showing pro-omnic-love protests and omnic assassinations and omnics getting beaten in the streets and all the dialogue of Zarya being omnic racist. And then they just sorta pulled wayyy back in recent years.
So the reason why humans hate omnics is because of this massive, global war of extermination carried out by omnics, who attempted to commit mass genocide on all of humanity. And this is in recent memory. Anyone over the age of 35 would remember their town/city getting raided and bombed by omnic forces. Why did they attack? Who knows!
(Quick note, but I believe this entry in the wiki misinterpreted its sources. The Omnic Crisis was probably not made up on the spot, but the point still stands that after 8 years the writers have not disclosed anything about the single most important moment in their lore. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't know either).
Overwatch is formed, they defeat the evil omnics (different from the good ones), geopolitics happen, Overwatch is disbanded, evil omnics are still attacking. All the while, omnics become oppressed second-class citizens in most major cities, forced into slums and poverty and met with constant violence. Radicals such as Ramattra come to power, believing that violence must be met with violence (common trope of radical minority rights leaders going "too far" as to vilify them).
One important thing to note: omnics, unlike humans, can be hacked and made violent through the removal of their free will. This is seen in Pharah's comic, where a highly advanced security droid is hacked and forced to almost fire upon its own squad/commit suicide. At any point, a civilian omnic could be made a weapon of war without any nuance (this literally happens).
So there's already a problem with the allegory. Omnics =/= Humans. But mannn, that's still no reason to hate and discriminate omnics. That genocide was decades ago. It's not like, I dunno just spitballing here, a SECOND Omnic Crisis will happen.
Overwatch 2 is about the Second Omnic Crisis.
I feel like the choice to bring back the Omnic Crisis says a lot about the writers' decision-making too (not assuming anything on their character or philosophies). Why not make the bad guys Talon, a terrorist group that was established as the story's villains in the first two shorts?
And I haven't even gotten to the worst of OW's writing. In 2021, Overwatch published a short comic series called "London Calling," following Tracer as she aids a group of underground equal omnic rights activists, after/during 2021's George Floyd and BLM protests.
So overwatch has come to steam
aardvark pays off. - torbjörn lindholm.
Mod Torb is this you?
