The last time I played Puck, the director was a huge freak about not letting us wear shoes on stage because it would “ruin the look”, but we all kept eating shit, and instead of just letting us wear skintone dance shoes or something with grip, motherfucker poured Pepsi on the floor so it’d be sticky and we had to schlorp around. I fucking hate you, David.

Why couldn’t this have been a one time I dreamt

Coking the stage (mopping it with diluted soda so it’s a little sticky) is a legitimate low-budget tactic for slick floors, but he just poured so much Pepsi on the floors that for about a whole week, it was audible.

Maybe the course of true love would run a little fucking smoother if we didn’t have to ford your Pepsi river, DAVID.

I would just quit. Fuck people like that. It’s easy to walk away

No it’s not. Didn’t you read the post? There was dried Pepsi everywhere.

Tbh some of the tags on this are great but nothing will come close to this masterpiece

On the first off-book day when actors don’t know what to do with their hands

Henry V update

The director won't let me grab my crotch when I say "I did present him with the Paris-Balls" so what is even the point.

I don't remember why exactly I wrote this in my score last week but I saw it tonight in rehearsal and it made me laugh.

we are all rowdy theatre kids in god’s denny’s when you really think about it

it’s something experienced not explained 

Some of you have never piled in by the dozens to a diner at 11 pm after closing night with stage makeup still half on to annoy the staff by pouring all the condiments on the table into a glass of water and paying your friend $20 bucks to drink it and it shows

#yeah like this isnt one of those posts where someone just says some utter nonsense #this post has a very specific meaning and if youve experienced it you understand implicitly #its the sense that god technically is in charge but has no control over us

Here’s a fun game to play backstage! Simon Says, but instead of Simon it’s Stage Manager Says and everyone just LISTENS TO THE STAGE MANAGER AND THE PROPS WOULDN’T GO MISSING GODDAMMI-

[mouth full of prop donuts]

YOU DIDN'T SAY STAGE MANAGER SAYS

It's FRESH because Nora and Torvald have SMARTPHONES and the background music is SLIGHTLY OUT OF DATE HIPHOP