Avatar

share your story :]

@our-queer-experience / our-queer-experience.tumblr.com

a blog dedicated to sharing lgbtq+ stories, information, and advice of all kinds. header by @huesofpurple
Anonymous asked:

My best advice I can offer to anyone questioning their gender (or sexuality or romantic orientation); choose whatever label fits best or don’t choose one at all. You don’t have to define it if it’s too confusing or complex.

I saw a post somewhere and forgive me because I can’t quote it word for word because I forgot so I’ll paraphrase, but it basically said that labels won’t always be 100% accurate and it’s okay to choose ones that explain your experience only 25%/100, or 75%/100, it all just depends on you. And I think that’s the best advice I could’ve heard because I was questioning my sexuality and romantic orientation once again during the time I read it. The weight was lifted when I found a label that works but doesn’t describe my experience completely, it’s as close as I’ll get, and I reminded myself that that’s okay.

Sometimes labels make us feel better and it’s valid to want to have one, but remember that they don’t always have to explain what you’re feeling completely. But labels are also only tools, so if you don’t need them or can’t find one that works then don’t use them. Or just create your own if you want to be creative.

yeah!!! im gonna pin this because it sums up the exact bit of advice i always struggle to get across and it needs to be said more often.

theres no shame in not being out yet or ‘dressing straight’ to stay safe. not only does your saftey and comfort come first, but it does not make you any less queer if no one else knows. you only have to do what you feel comfortable with.

Anonymous asked:

I personally dislike that the majority of the queer populace acts like you can't simultaneously tackle issues within the community and issues outside of the community.

It takes nothing away from either aspect to focus on more than one issue at a time, as faced as a queer person.

People within the queer community trying to weaponise my identity and people outside of the queer community trying to criminalise my existence are, personally, of dual importance, and I feel like I have the capability to express concern over both.

you can't simultaneously tackle issues within the community and issues outside of the community

there is a difference between calling out harmful behaviors and demonizing identities. discourse isn’t “hey is this behavior harmful” it’s almost always “is this IDENTITY harmful.” discoursers also tend to dedicate all their effort towards other queer people’s mere existence, and if that is your main issue and not fucking ron desantis and the like, then fuck you. that’s not productive at all. it’s actually just homophobic.

no one is objecting to calling out problematic behaviors, but once you try to deem someone’s identity problematic, then honestly? idk what you’re doing, but that’s not helpful. at all.

People within the queer community trying to weaponise my identity and people outside of the queer community trying to criminalise my existence

so that’s. my entire point. the demonizing of queer identities within the queer community is a problem. that is why i’m against infighting.

calling out discoursers(those demonizing queer identities) is calling out behavior. that’s different.

Avatar
shesnake

I'm a lesbian and i see myself in media about bi women, also in media about gay/bi men. even if it's not Entirely made for me, it's still for me. and I know and hope that other gay/bi people are able to see parts of themselves in lesbian media. sorry to be cheesy but we are more similar than we are different and it's those experiences we share that draw us to these stories in the first place, and the reason we're even telling them <3

Avatar
shesnake

this was about empathy relatability and solidarity, not objectification. bye

Anonymous asked:

I think at the end of the day

The people stripping us of our rights don't care if we are hi/him lesbians or xenogenders

We cant keep infighting when there's a bigger issue that'll harm all of us if we just sit here and try to say who or what someone can be

honestly, yeah, some of yall would rather hate other queer people than litteral politicians.

For people who are multigender and have at least "man" and "woman" as genders: how did you figure out your specific label? By this, I mean, how did you figure out if you were bigender, trigender, pangender, otherwise multigender, etc.?

I've boiled things down to knowing I'm at least a man and a woman, but I don't know if I'm otherwise nonbinary as well (like neutrois or maverique or xenogender), or just nonbinary by virtue of being both a man and woman.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Avatar
doberbutts

"Well are you a [controversial identity] supporter???"

My friend I do not know what to tell you here. My rule is and remains "I don't care what you call yourself because your actions and who you are as a person is more valuable to me" and "as long as everyone in the situation is an adult and is giving enthusiastic consent I genuinely do not give a fuck what you do" and "words are stupid and people are complicated so it doesn't matter if The Words Are Wrong as long as it makes you happy"

I'm a longer tables not higher walls kind of guy. Have a seat. Break bread with me. Tell me a story over dinner. I think that'll be better for the both of us.

Avatar
doberbutts

This post has gained about 2.5k notes in 24 hours for some reason and is doing numbers in the Identities Fandom but I feel like I need to be clear about something:

I wrote this before I'd ever even heard of crimew but also like.

Also yes I mean even that identity. That one too. Especially that one. And we can't forget that one either.

Come and sit at my table. Try my soup, it's an old recipe. Tell me how your day went. I think that's a better course of action.

Avatar
doberbutts

Back on my bullshit to say if you want me to actively think sush-and-such identity is bad you will still need to play by my rules. If you cannot articulate why whatever identity you feel is harmful is actually harmful, and by that I mean "its existence is inherently harmful" doesn't count, then sorry but I simply don't believe you and I am not willing to play ball. Existing in a space might make you uncomfortable, but discomfort isn't harm, so you're going to need to get over it.

Come here. I'm pulling meat and vegetables off the grill. There's a plate made up just for you. Times are rough but we'll get through it somehow. Together.

Avatar
doberbutts

Girl help there are people arguing about bi lesbians in my replies when I originally made this post about pansexual and asexual people and neopronouns and xenogenders and therians and he/him lesbians and she/her gays and people reclaiming slurs and puppies and kittens. But also yes bi lesbians are included in this I just wasn't talking about or thinking about them because literally all of my irl lesbian friends do not give two shits about bi lesbian discourse (and many of them are married to bisexual women who choose to call themselves lesbians and they have lovely lesbian marriages and lesbian families and sometimes even lesbian sex with each other wow)

But also like. It's not that hard. They're bi but they dramatically prefer women. Or they're bi but they've never actually pursued relationships with men. Or they're bi but they make the choice to only be with women. Or they're bi but they're currently with the woman of their dreams who they never want to be seperated from and thus now consider themselves lesbians. Or they're bi but they thought they were a lesbian for a long time and are just now coming to terms with maybe being attracted to guys in theory. Or they're bi but they're happy calling themselves a lesbian in the context of their current relationship.

Or they're calling themselves bi because "technically that one time" but in actuality it was mostly comphet. Or they're calling themselves bi because so many people told them they can't be a lesbian if they're not gold star. Or they're calling themselves bi because so many people told them they can't be a lesbian if they're also attracted to fem nonbinary folks instead of exclusively binary women.

Or they're calling themselves bi lesbians because that used to be common before waves of biphobia eradicated the usage of similar terms and they're old enough to remember that.

Or they're calling themselves lesbians while being bisexual because they're currently with a woman and it's easier than getting into a whole attraction explination with a stranger.

Anyway these are all reasons my lesbian friends' bisexual wives have told me for why they use both bisexual and lesbian and funny enough their lesbian wives still love them so I'm gunna follow their lead on this one and continue not giving a shit and welcoming them all to the table.

Avatar
taohun

who’s up thinking about after the threesome they both take you home by sue hyon bae i’m thinking about after the threesome they both take you home by sue hyon bae

Avatar
taohun

normal time. im having it

Illustration for Cosmopolitan, June 1974 Detail

Avatar
pharahsgf

it always makes me sad to see the cropped image on my dash cuz like

the original specifically centers bi women’s sexuality & that context just gets cropped out 😔

I was just on a ship with a bunch of other queers for a weekend and !!!!! It’s the first time I’ve felt fully seen in regards to my queerness and it was so fantastic to stay in this community and also I got called “he” for the first time ever by one of the crew members and it’s burned into my brain in a good way!!!!! (I use any pronouns but people usually only call me “she”)

But anyway living in that space where queerness and transness wasn’t just respected but was the norm was so refreshing and fantastic and I don’t have queer adults in my life so it was so amazing to be able to be like “oh, this is what I get to grow up into” especially since all the crew members were such amazing people and !!!!!!!!

(For anyone wondering, the ship is the Clearwater and it sails along the Hudson River)

Avatar

that sounds so fun!

Anonymous asked:

Idk if this is the right place to put this here, but I just wanted to say to all nonbinary people out there who want to medically transition, hrt is not the only option. Obviously, if that’s the best thing for you, do it! But I know that there’s a lot of nonbinary people who want to transition past top surgery/laser, without hrt, but they don’t know what to do

Body contouring surgeries exist. Facial surgeries exist (and you absolutely do not need to be on hrt to get them!). For me personally, I’m planning on getting both body and facial masculinisation surgery, as well as top surgery (also loads of voice training— because transmasc voice training exists!— and I’m looking into ways to get more body hair). Less people practice body contouring surgeries and fms under a gender affirming label, but they are there and do exist

^^^

‼️Homeless trans‼️ 🏳️‍🌈

Life update!! Still in this situation. Tumblr terminated my accounts @sheeyanc :'((

Would gladly appreciate help right now. I really mean it I'm totally in so much pain. Both my legs are swollen and injured after getting hit by a van. I need a place to stay, I need a rescue. :'(

Dm for details.

No updates so far !! :'(

Can somebody give me a chance please. I've been Eating leftover foods from people that I don't know just to survive :'((

Badly need atleast 2200

Hello mates. This is so embarrassing tbh but i just want to update you all about my situation rn. Can somebody spot me $1700? I'm willing to pay it forward as soon as I'm able to.

Hi. Idk if anyone can help but I'm still homeless and have nothing at all. I'm also in desperate need of first aid supplies as my feet are badly blistered to the point I can barely walk. I also desperately need something to eat. I haven't eaten in days and I'm at a point in just throwing up acid.

Please help me. I can't do this anymore. I really can't get help, I need some support right now. I'm begging you all. I'm really sick and hungry 😩

Please help me. I Need some help right now. Idk how am I gonna do this alone

FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN DONATE!!