Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.

And people say stuff like ‘lol don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling’ like bitch (!!) i could have Nicholas II last czar of Russia hangin from my ceiling fan and i would be none the wiser

My roomba is scared of thunderstorms

I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago, drawing, and a really loud crack of thunder went off–no power surges or anything, just thunder–and my roomba fled from its dock and started spinning in circles

I currently now have an active roomba sitting quietly on my lap

Humans will pack bond with anything. 

I had a teenage girl come into my tea shop with her mother the other night. She purposely grabbed a teamaker in the most crunched-up looking box on the shelf (got banged around in shipment) and carried it protectively over to the counter. “If something’s in a damaged box I have to get it because I’m afraid no one else will love it,” she laughed nervously.

Not only will humans pack bond with anything, the empathy level of adolescent girls in particular likely has puppy-saving, world hunger-solving, war-ending powers.

I once saw a really bumpy lime at the grocery store, just a real ugly fruit. Later that night my boyfriend & I were driving home from rehearsal at like 11:30pm & passed the grocery store & I stared crying & he said “is it that lime? Do you want to go back and get it?” And I nodded and pulled the car around and bought the lime.

I saw this post once but IT GOT EVEN BETTER

😻amazing, pt.1

Always need good news stories

Just some positivity, because we could all use some more of this in our lives.

insanity

If i lived here I would have to stay inside most of the time because going outside would cause my heart to explode and i think i speak on behlaf of most people too

PSA

theres a new product by verzion called “hum” that allows your parents to track your car and places you go, if your parents are controlling like mine please check under your steering wheel to make sure that they havent installed this

here is what it looks like installed:

you can read more about it here, and here- this excerpt sums up what information Hum will send: 

“a car’s owner will be able to get notified on their phone when the vehicle leaves a pre-determined area or drives faster than a set speed… [Hum] will enable location tracking and a driving log, which measures travel times, engine idle times, and average speeds.” 

People in abusive relationships, please check your cars.

DO NOT TRY TO UNPLUG IT BY YOURSELF!

To add to this nightmare, I’ve just heard of a thing called ForceField where people get to monitor and block internet sites that you’re going on if they don’t approve.

It tells the user what sites/apps you’re going on, for how long you’re on them, and WHERE YOU ARE ON AN UPDATING MAP.

So you know if you’re in an abusive household and use sites like tumblr to escape and talk to friends, you could be cut off from that.

They say “it’s not spyware” but it sure sounds controlling and creepy to me.

signalboost

God. Fuck. That’s scary.

Life 360 is another tracker. My parents have used it on me, not allowing me to delete it from my phone, and sometimes even demanding selfies to prove I was where the map said. (As if I’d go anywhere without my phone)

SpectorPro is another one. Afaik it can’t track location, but it takes screenshots roughly every 20sec to allow the installer to watch a video of your computer activity. It also tracks all keystrokes, so passwords aren’t safe, and records any website you visit + the duration. It’s incredibly creepy and a huge violation of privacy, and was one of the cornerstones of my abuse as a kid.

even if you’re not in an abusive relationship/family, please spread this because you might have just saved someone’s life

this is never going to not be funny 

Rob Lowe says “that is fucking hilarious” with the straightest face ever

Bless you, Chris Pratt

This is the hardest I’ve laughed in so long

♫♫That’s not something that props can fix…that’s gonna be a little harder to fix.♫♫

It’s bACK.

I’ve seen this a thousand times and I just realized he knocks the fucking Mac of of the counter too

A depressed guy moves into a haunted house with 7 demons, each corresponding to a deadly sin. But, they’re all trying to help him get back on his feet; Pride helps with self confidence, Lust helps him get laid, etc.

I would watch the crap outta this like wow

Envy: “Glut, back off the guy, okay?”

Gluttony: “I’m just saying he could stand to gain a few pounds! I made spaghetti!”

Sloth: “After we eat, it’s gonna be time for a nice nap. We’ve earned it!”

Pride: “Damn right we did!”

Just imagine the Catholic Church making a statement regarding this new tv show.

Wrath does nothing but encourage him to punch assholes. 

“You deserve better! That was YOUR parking space!”

“He’s like three hundred pounds of muscle, Wrath.”

“And you are 165 pounds of RAGE!”

Wrath’s advice isn’t great, but he means well. 

Greed spends his days trying to help him manage his budget and put money on the side

“Bro check this out i’ve got the sickest retirement plan, technically it’s tax evasion i guess but fuck those guys, right?”

This is the most hardcore sequel to Inside Out.

Stop letting your heart and your pussy choose your men.

I’m confused, what is left…

Oh nvm lmao my brain. You right sis lol you is right

You really forgot your whole brain.

she read this post with her pussy

This teacher battled his student in a talent show….teacher was WAVYYYY

Teacher hit the first move and I knew it was curtains

Different!!! Who is that!!!

What is life after reading these.

Well that fucked me up

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER.

My reaction, only with coffee.

Hang on, need to send this to my literature prof

2018 resolutions

- love Jumin Han

- appreciate Jumin Han

- protect Jumin Han

- did I mention love Jumin Han

I got these guys from two summons and was so surprised because of my previous bad luck. Reblog if you want to be blessed ™ with good new year luck.

or reblog if you’re losing hope and want luck from someone who understands where you’re coming from because soon it’ll all be daijobu it’s okie

I hope love finds you in 2018

I hope health finds u in 2018

I hope wealth finds you in 2018

I hope happiness finds you in 2018

I hope success finds you in 2018

I hope self-love finds you in 2018

I hope supportive people find you in 2018

I hope all the dogs find you in 2018

I hope good grades find you in 2018

I hope validation finds you in 2018

I hope good luck finds you in 2018

I hope inner peace finds you in 2018

reblog for good luck

The year is 2018. Your bills are on autopay. You just got paid and you still have $1200 from the last check. When you want something, you buy it without moving money around. Your credit cards are paid off. You and your friends have 2 international trips planned and paid for this year. Your parents are in great health and you’re able to help if they need anything. You love your job. Your desired creative career is falling into place and you get to take your little cousins to Six Flags and Universal Studios over the Summer. Your relationships are healthy and supportive. All of the toxic energy from the past 6 years is gone. You going to concerts, eating good across the states and your crib has art and warmth throughout. 2018 is going to be so good to you.

reblogging this for that 2018 good luck

Speaking this into existence.

Speak to your future, watch it speak back.

THAT PART!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

Gonna post this on my bathroom mirror as an affirmation