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name mb for Saturn

- bee

greek gods as things i’ve heard in highschool

zeus: i am a god! you all come from my loins!

hera: the greatest invention of all time are cONDOMS.

poseidon: crawdaddys! i love crawdaddys.

demeter: the beautiful, bountiful nature.

ares: we’ll put al capone to shame.

athena: i did the smarts.

apollo: i’d date a harp. 

artemis: what void? the void in his straight boy pants?

hephaestus: he’s teetering on the edge of the equipment malfunctions.

Gods as things that happened at my school

Zeus: Senior pouring Mtn Dew (banned in my school) into a coffee (also banned) in the middle of finals, raving about becoming one with the rain, flipping off his girlfriend

Poseidon: The guy who came to “Future job dress up day” as a lobster

Hades: The kid who used to follow his troublemaker brothers around to try and get them to stay out of trouble in middle school, getting caught with his girlfriend summoning demons in the bathroom

Hera: The prom queen in the 2001 yearbook who had her photo taken right as she caught her boyfriend cheating

Demeter: the girl in a biology experiment whose plant grew even though the entire experiment was about how plants can’t grow without water or sunlight

Aphrodite: That one girl who’s so popular and nice yet complains all the time about her boyfriends, both she’s cheating on, yet is actually a very nice person

Ares: the basketball game that was out Physical Education test that got widely out of hand and ended up with 1 broken finger and 2 nose bleeds

Hephaestus: *the one kid in the class that’s good with technology*, (teacher) why isn’t my laptop working???? (Entire class) hePHAESTUS!!!

Athena: The A+ girl in our class that is somehow passing even though she can and has picked fights with the teacher and students over facts that we are learning

Apollo: *some kid in my Spanish class reading out a typo on our final* Tocar el sol? TOCAR EL SOL??? No. Fuck this imma fail. *starts crying*

Artemis: The freshman girl who has kicked a senior for being sexist and managed to not get detention for it

Hermes: That one kid who has blackmail on everyone in his class and has multiple pictures of teachers making weird faces to use as memes

Dionysus: *After accidentally taking his friends to the wrong building after misreading his schedule* THE ‘K’ LOOKED LIKE AN ‘R’, FUCK OFF

Hesita: The girl that ignores the crazy classroom, has neat notes, color codes them, and then shares it with the entire class, and the only reason half the class is passing

The only NSFW content left on Tumblr is Tumblr fucking itself.

Eyyyyyyyyy

*Meanwhile, on Twitter