Coyote Song

I can't seperate Bemis in specific from his music if he literally was doing the EXACT same thing my efamous heroes did to my friends.

It hurts so wicked bad.

I have to slowly remove a lot of his songs from my likes and playlists, because doing it all in one go is just... painful.

He and his music meant so much to me. I always felt like a mirrored version of how he portrayed himself... to have reality hit so hard that I was a parasocial lacky who ate up all his projections of life and love only to fuel him abusing all these people... it's almost too much to handle.

... I'm done having heroes. No amount of mental illness can forgive being an active sexual predator. Even with my turbo brain fuckery of a bipolar disorder, I never once hit up a kids DMs to bang them.

That's not bipolar, that's a deep sickness from within. Hope he gets help and I hope damn well it works, but once his final song leaves my feed, I'm parasocially divorcing myself from his work.

No more heroes. There are only people who make music. They're no different from any stranger you meet. I've come to accept this after COUNTLESS heartbreak on personal accounts.

Goodbye, Max Bemis. You can do better, but I'm not going to wait and see.

Sign off.

Tough pill to swallow. I always had an inkling of the idea he wasn't material enough to be a healthy influence (look at his music, of course not) but I'm just ultimately disappointed, since what I'm hearing is making Max Bemis on par with my other "influential" abusers in my past.

I'm glad I never interacted muchly with him outside a Twitter thread convo.

I cannot just drop support of his acts cold turkey whenever so much of my early 20s were spent using his music to cathartically deal with my Bipolar diagnosis, which I notice is common among Say Anything fans. Gnarly. I'll come around to less support, but it's basically telling me to walk without a crutch I've used for a decade.

I've felt kinship like no other specifically with Max and Sherri. Their music and lyrical style resonated with me, the Jewish-Christo heritage, me sharing Sherri's maiden name... felt like this parasocial relationship that likely sounds incredibly maladaptive from the outside (as it probably literally is).

There are a lot of allegations. I have reason to believe them given my past with "famous" people.

I guess I'm more disappointed, Say Anything was essentially my safe space where every other acts I've associated myself with ended up negatively impacting both my friends and my own lives. I put so much stock in Max thinking he'd never disappoint me like other's did. Yet, here we are.

I may still post a Say Anything song so often. They're pretty much stapled to my brain meat at this point that, again, it'll be a process... but yeah.

Sex pests don't belong in my life, parasocially or not. So long.

max bemis sucks and i do not support his dumbassery but it will probably take me a while to push away completely from his music

im too eepy to post anything not a link i will pass away if i share my secret download hoard