My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding
She got mad and said she is never playing Scrabble with me again!
poor things, well we should definitely make this easier on them by never repeatedly mentioning their name and deeds on the "reblog things forever" website
💯🙏💛🟨👍
Worst part about this is I've only ever used that yellow square emoji once and it was just to see how it looked. This isn't who I am. However, in retrospect, I suppose it is
Reading through the notes is a surreal experience please keep adding more to fuel my effervescent consumption of non descriptive emojis
lets hear it for transgenderism and faggotry. can I get a round of applause for transgenderism and faggotry
God is my witness I initially read this as “TOPS ARE A PRIVILEGE! THEY MUST BE EARNED!” and I thought that was a tad presumptuous of an employer.
Hey hey this is *SUPER* illegal in the United States holy cow.
If you are in this country and took the job, which I hope you didn't, now is definitely the time to look into a pro-bono labour rights lawyer. You're definitely eligible for back pay of any tips withheld and probably more. If you're in any progressive state there's a good chance your rights go beyond this. Regardless, federal regulations:
On a personal note I am seeing red over the situation. Fuck them for the audacity to pull this shit. Fuck them for being manipulative, abusive bosses.
I shudder to imagine the culture there.
alright fuckers (lovingly)
no more goofin around
it's tuesday. go message some of your closest friends and tell them how much they mean to you
good luck I'll see you when you get back
Catastrophic thoughts such as these which guide you down the path of self-sabotage do not amuse me.
wallace gromited so that chicken run. is this something
well you can’t say i didn’t try ❤️
i’m in spain rn and i said wallace gromited so that chicken run to my friend on the bus and the woman in front of us looked back at us then pulled out english duolingo
no offense but some of you should be earning your chippy hike badges instead of whatever it is you're doing on here
Is that a fish in your pocket or is uyor penis wrigglinh and writhing frantically in the hopesof returning to the sea
funnytwittertweets
same energy as that buffy episode where the big bad ‘can’t be hurt by any weapon forged’ and she’s like ‘it’s been a 500 years are you sure’ and annihilates it with a fuckin M136 rocket launcher
you have to listen to loud music . it scares the evil creatures from your head
bonus : without any of the evil creatures left , you can hear the song of the angels more clearly (tinnitus)
There’s a branch of the Medicis that moved to Ireland and now are running a successful chain of fried chicken restaurants which is a very different vinbe from when they were like buying popes and stuff
The current heir to the main branch of the Hapsburg family is an endurance race car driver
“average person has 3 middle names" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person has 1 middle name. Ferdinand Zvonimir Maria Balthus Keith Michael Otto Antal Bahnam Leonhard von Habsburg-Lothringen, who drives racecars & has over 10,000 middle names, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
Don’t Call Me Friend
A fic in which you find a cynical man desperately needing medical attention
↳ Millions Knives/Reader
content warning. gender-neutral pronouns, afab reader, mild overstimulation, unprotected sex, profanity, shameless smut, slight fluff, alien genitalia, oral (m!receiving), fingering, creampie, knives has never seen a pussy in his life, probably missing some tags but it’s 8 in the am and im tired
this is a fic trade piece dedicated to @strbrmlk! Go show them some love, they have lots of Knives content!
minors DNI
8.7k words
lilcowgirl7-deactivated20210223
I needed this drag. Let’s change guys and not look back
working out your brain is a must!!
• hydrate it by drinking lots of water
• eat dark chocolate and blueberries and walnuts and salmon and other foods high in antioxidants!!
• play little brain games on your phone; I like wordconenct! anything that makes you think!
• read books. It’s simple but necessary. Even better - join a book club, or read with a friend, so you can have discussions after. This will improve your reading comprehension.
• do puzzles - it doesnt have to be sudoku, I love playing Beat Saber on the Oculus Rift because it makes my brain have to match colorful patterns to physical movements very quickly!
• learn a new dance - even a tik tok trendy dance. Learning new dance moves are proven to strengthen synapses!!
• go bird watching, or foraging, or anything outdoors that requires you to explore pattern recognition and visual searching
• watch a movie with the intent of analysis - this is best done with a cinephile friend!! talk about tropes and symbolism and character growth
• cross stitch, or sew, or do anything that requires matching nimble hand movements to patterns
• play or learn an instrument!
• develop a consistent sleep schedule (or as close to consistent as you can get!)
• when eating, try to identify the ingredients and flavors you’re perceiving!
I hope this helps :)
jozdreaming
I like how this went from me feeling like “hm why is this attacking me 🤨” at first, but feeling grateful seeing an added guide on a genuine expansion on a “ how to” work out the brain. This genuinely helps a bunch. People find solace in doing activities that get them through life by doing said activities of phone/tv or if that’s all they’ve ever known in their life to get them through things + etc tho. However, this was very impt to point out. Slowly beginning incorporating things to work the brain in ones own time.