“I don’t care if it’s a sad good-bye or a bad good-bye, but when I leave a place I like to know I’m leaving it.”
— J.D. Salinger // The Catcher in the Rye
“Now I see that it’s time to let you go.”
— Ella Henderson // Lay Down
EUPHORIA (2019)
"Dead yet beautiful"
I cry out like it’s pushing me forward
when all I’m doing is spinning myself
back to when it felt like it mattered,
I’m kidding myself and the audience
never gets bored with its laughter,
When I died, I took nothing with me,
nothing I could hold with my fingers,
but the mind’s hands hold the most
even when letting go,
I’m gambling for what’s next:
A memory, a feeling, a movement, a person
A soul so far tangled it forgot it needs freedom
Bound by time and space and a fixed frame
that can only lie, even truthfully
I need someone who isn’t finished
I need the breath that isn’t wasted
©e.a. 2018
a bad idea
stir me into your drink you look like you could use a little of what I’ve got, and I could use some company away from my thoughts of him, let’s help each other strangers let’s be friends let’s forget, together what could be the harm in this?
© SoulReserve 2018
“How long they choose to love you will never be your decision.”
— Drake // Thank Me Now
ensomnic
Accept that you’ll sometimes be the bad guy in someone else’s story. Grow from it, forgive yourself, and move on.
“It’s the little moments that get you. Like the way he pulled you close when it was cold, or how he kissed your forehead at 11:00pm whilst watching your favourite film, or how he’d spin you around dancing to old songs in his kitchen on a rainy afternoon. It’s the smell of his cologne that you only know as him, and the exact fleck of brown amongst the sea of green in his eyes. It’s the little things that get you, those things that when you put them together, make up every part of the person who’s no longer around to let you believe it was all real,”
20:48 - The little things are what hold you back
“You‘ll regret it, you know. Not trying harder to make it work. You probably think she didn’t notice, but oh, she did from the very beginning. She picked up on your nervous habits the first time you met. Saw the way you caught your bottom lip between your teeth, how you constantly reached up to touch your nose. How your eyes flickered down to her lips when she spoke. When she pressed her head to your chest, she felt your heart thunder. There‘s no point in telling her that maybe what you felt wasn’t enough. That it wasn’t the same for you. That you weren’t sure about the two of you. You want to let her go, because she makes you feel things you’ve never felt before, and so you move on to pointless excuses. You find ridiculous reasons to drive her away from you. But she’s never been easy to fool. In an instant, she‘ll know you lied and she‘ll take it as her cue to leave without a fight. She won’t ask you to explain. She won’t call again. And you‘ll be the one to stay awake at night, wondering who she‘s spending her time with. Pondering about who took your place. And still, you’re not sure if the pain you’re feeling over losing her will fade in time. Your mistake is you think you know what it‘s like to get attached and you are convinced that the more you win in a short space of time, the more you‘ll have to lose. But it’s not the same with her. Your feelings for her were so intense, they scared you. You were absolutely terrified of what you would do for her. Was it worth it, I’m asking you now, sending her away because you knew you’d lose her anyway? I’m not saying holding on to her was easy: she was too reckless, too unpredictable, too emotional. She was a mess, but she was the mess that you wanted. So call her before it’s too late. Pluck up your courage and say what you’ve been wanting to say all along before she’s gone for good and no one’s around to watch the words die in your throat.”
— fight or flight / n.j.
“You aren’t like the others. Because you, my darling, are poetry in this world full words.”
So how do you kill yourself
without actually dying…
make him the center of your universe
while he doesn’t even give a damn about you.
Source: petalier