Holy Shit

My favorite part is kermits legs sticking out from behind her

Back of her jacket says “If you can read this, the frog fell off.”

fun fact: girls can have computers

fun fact: girls can be computers

fun fact: girls can kiss computers

The "and Ken" sign says so much. Not only do the police identify him as some crazily dressed guy just tagging along with an equally crazily dressed girl who just decked someone in the face, they also cuff him even though it seems like he hasn't done anything because he tagged along with his girlfriend even to get arrested.

He's an accessory even to a convicted Barbie. You do not separate a Ken from his Barbie even in jail. Ken is having the time of his life even in incarceration because he's there with Barbie.

Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post

And the update

She buttered Jorts

The outrage summed in a perfect Tweet:

FINALLY

I’ve been collecting the best Jorts tweets and waiting until the moment he showed up on my dash to post them. So here you are, the curated best of the past, oh, day or so:

Some additional quality memes from the past 24 hours:

Meanwhile, OP has continued tracking trash can mishaps on twitter:

And a quality photo of this sweet potato:

An update for those not following Jorts’ twitter account, starting with a transcription of the Wellerman cover:

Link to the lovely video

Additional quality memes:

A recipe for Buttered Jorts:

Recent Jorts activities:

And some very wise words from the cat himself:

This is the largest Jorts post I found before I decided to stop, and combines a lot of memes in one convenient package.

Along with cats, of course. Smartly done!

The person running the Jorts Twitter is using it to promote unions, which is awesome.

FNALLY! All the premium Jorts content in one place!

Many excellent editions to the classic Jorts post <3

Do not attempt to out-malicious-compliance the staff at the malicious compliance conference.

Some dipshit decided to pay the conference fee ($250) in quarters. He handed us a wrapped plastic bag full of loose change. "It's all there," he said with a shit-eating grin, "you can count it."

Oh buddy. We're going to count it. What were you expecting?

At about the time I got to $60, he offered to give us $300 collateral so he could get his badge and go to the conference.

No, bud. You get to watch the most dyscalculic staffer count to a thousand while all your friends go in to the breakfast and find seats for the first talk.

"Ruining someone's day" is the favorite hobby of everyone here. Why would you hand us the perfect opportunity to wreck your shit and think that was an own? Half the con is calling him "Untraceable," the other half is calling him "Quarter Boy" and nobody cares what he says his handle is.

I spent an hour counting that and made him go fetch me baggies to hold it every fifty dollars.

This ended up being a good bonus prank for me too, because when the counting was done I wrapped the bags in gaffer's tape and spent the rest of the day handing it to people very casually while saying "oh here, hold this for a sec" and then watching they weren't ready for the weight (I only did this to people I know well enough to know this wouldn't hurt them).

It's an infosec conference, so it's a weekend in a hotel full of people whose favorite thing is breaking the law and whose second favorite thing is following the letter of the law while cheerfully violating the spirit.

Thank you, that means a lot coming from you, @unyanizedcatboys

there should be a special place in hell for those who renovate victorian houses to have modern interior like what the hell is wrong with you. i hope the ghosts kill you fr.

Then…don’t buy a Victorian house?

This is where the issue comes into play – people who should just buy a modern house, for some weird reason, decide to buy one that’s not what they like at all and change it so people who would enjoy it will not be able to. I will never understand it. No one is holding a gun to your head and making you buy a Victorian; I can’t think of many areas in which that’s the only housing option.

just get something more modern if that’s what you want. and stop intruding on houses – and Tumblr posts – that are clearly not for you

there’s a famous house in my city that looks like this on the outside

and has been reno’d to look like… this on the inside

THAT'S A CRIME

Imagine being buried alive and then seeing this little guy with a backpack suddenly arrive

It gets better. The little backpack has a two-way radio.

So you’re trapped under rubble, and then a rat shows up. Flicks a switch on its little tumtum. And starts talking to you.

Article here | Organization here

#I love the hashtag women in STEM bc at first I thought they meant the rat 🙈 (via @sprotteswelt)

until you said that it never occurred to me that the woman in STEM was the scientist and not the rat. i was just like “hell yeah, this rat is a powerful woman pioneering lifesaving technologies as a rescue ranger”

why are we sleeping on this

This is really sad, but it's at least kind of encouraging that he's still trying

Absolutely. The spirit of learning should be nurtured at any age. Read on, info warrior!

Hey, this is exactly how you expand your vocabulary - stumbling across new words, looking them up, and then remembering that. And they're still having fun reading the book, so they're probably going to remember the words they pick up. This is good!

I see y'all in the notes making fun of this, don't fucking shame people for learning stuff late. It's not like this guy can go back in time and do more reading as a kid/teenager, do you want people to learn new things, or do you expect everyone to just wallow in ignorance if they weren't lucky enough to be taught things as a kid/teenager? And they don't need an easier book either, if they're engaged with this one and understanding it, they're fine.

saw a post abt HBO removing shows that suggests ppl just “burn dvds” but everyone doesnt know how to do that so here is one way to do that

- get blank dvds (Both +R or -R work, I think +R is slightly cheaper, the difference is rewritability), these are not very expensive for the amount you can get in bulk (if you are in the US 100 of them is about 30$ at walmart)

- an external DVD drive that plugs in via usb is also around 20-40$ (it tends to be closer to 20)

- download DVDFlick (free)

- if you don’t already have the mp4/mpeg of whatever media you want to burn, you can download movies/shows off of sites like gomovies.sx and soap2day

gomovies.sx will have a download button that looks like this

below the video you can choose one of these

if you click streamlare for example and then the download button it will take you here where the mp4 is

(if you’re on an iphone/ipad, clicking download will save it to your files app)

- if you cant find the download button on soap2day you can also install a video downloader extension which will find the movie for you

- at this point you can drag and drop it into a google drive or keep it on your computer but if you still want it on dvd ->

- open dvd flick, drag and drop the video

- click “project settings”

- give it whatever title you want, you can change encoder to “normal” (default is below normal if you are doing other things on the computer). you dont need to change target size or thread count (unless you want to)

- insert a blank dvd into your drive, make sure you click “burn project to disc”

- click accept then click “create dvd” next to menu and project settings. it will create a destination folder and this dialogue box will pop up when you click “create” on more dvds, just click “yes” and then “okay” on the box that appears after it

it’ll take a couple hours, once its done take a sharpie & write whats on it and stick it in a case . or dont . im not ur mom

One of the things that sucks about being an animation nerd is having to live with the fact that, from a technical standpoint, the Hotel Transylvania movies are absolutely ground-breakingly staggeringly incredible.

As completely ignorant on animation, why is that? How is Hotel Transylvania any good??

The short version is that they’ve been figuring out how to plug the strengths of traditional animation into cg animation.

Longer version: cg animation is essentially puppet animation. You build a model, paint it and dress it up, and then move it around. That’s why Pixar’s first animated film was about toys, and their second one was about bugs: it’s much harder to make something look convincingly soft and fleshy than it is to work with something that’s supposed to be rigid.

Working inside this paradigm, the progression that makes sense is to work on developing more and more articulated puppets. Figure out how to add fur (Monsters, Inc.), move fish (Finding Nemo), get to the point where you can actually make human puppets who look appealing (The Incredibles.) In 2012 the big animated feature films showed off huge strides in particle physics (The Guardians), and hair (Tangled, Brave). Character effects and lighting were really hitting their stride, and the general movement was towards more detailed models, increased realism, richer and more intricate environments. The models only had so much range before they started to break, so squash & stretch was never going to be as pronounced as something from drawn animation could be. Hotel Transylvania challenged that.

As a show creator and director, Genndy Tartakovsky’s always shown a preference for stylization. He’s also got a reputation for incredible and deliberate timing, spectacular silhouettes, dramatic movement and clear staging, and just overall really good at directing animation. He wanted Tex Avery-type animation in CG and by golly, he did it.

Look at how exaggerated those shapes are, and how snappy, smooth, and fast the transitions between each one: that’s not something that was really being done. The motion-blurring alone was so defining that apparently Sony calls it a “Genndy blur.”

Animation is essentially the art of movement: the better the movement, the better the animation, and the Hotel Transylvania franchise has spectacular movement.

The model is actually being resculpted for maximum exaggeration, and the smears and blurs make the transitions between each pose fast, energetic, and snappy.

Like. Look at that movement. Look at how tightly he’s rooted while the follow through of his clothing sells the hard stop of each hip bump. Look at how sharp and deep his knees are bending, the way his weight shifts onto his heels and that tiny little side step at the very end, where he keeps his weight on his right foot for a split second before popping over to his new position. And he’s dancing the Macarena because he had to find the most brain-dominating, toe-tappingist song in the universe to win a DJ battle where a Kraken was being driven into a murderous rage by a mystical melody and it had to be counteracted by another song.

Yeah.

Somebody once described the Hotel Transylvania franchise as “like seeing Lamborghini making a clown car,” and honestly, that’s kind of what it’s like.

my little cousin confidently declared that mother nature had a counterpart named daddy electric and i feel like this concept needs to be explored

Daddy Electric and Mother Nature sounds like a cute 70s act

Daddy Electric is Bill Nye's cousin

I know why "prefered pronouns" and "prefered name" were retired from the vocabulary (it's way more than a matter of preference) but in retrospect it feels like a successful psyop to make transphobes sound absolutely incoherent.

Griping about people having "prefered pronouns": legible, clearly indicates what they have a problem with (trans people existing and being respected), makes you a huge unreasonable asshole but one whose grievances can at least be parsed for some kind of meaning.

Griping about people just having "pronouns": Incoherent, you are angry at a part of speech. Old man yells at cloud moment. Your hatred is so blinding that you can't hide that you have no idea what you're talking about and you look like a child throwing a tantrum except a child has probably been in an english class recently enough to know what a pronoun is.

Anyway we should do this with more stuff. Let's just call transitioning puberty exclusively until we get right wing grifters saying that puberty is unnatural and if you've gone through it you're a freak on their shitty little youtube channels.

downside: going to have to include a picture of the Giza pyramids in the slides for the lecture upside: i get to give people a crash course in why perspective matters in two frames, because

followed by

is such a funny sequence

i find most people who haven't seen it in person don't know that cairo is RIGHT THERE

I loved these perspectives so I took some of my own when I was in Cairo and yeah, they're literally just. Right there. Pass em on your way to work, nbd

No, y'all don't even understand.

There is literally a Pizza Hut across the street from the pyramids.

That Pizza Hut among other things is why Egyptologists laugh their asses off when we see another piece of media where the protagonists get "lost in the desert near the pyramids", because it's like... just turn around my dudes you're only a seven min walk away from the nearest fastfood shop

Yall don't know how much I adore all of this

unfortunately if you are an old friend of mine i will always care about you no matter what even if we haven't seen each other in forever because i still remember what you were like 7 years ago and i still remember how it felt to be young with you and i still have a lot of love for you in the back of my mind

bodega catgirl

Remember: women can regenerate your health if you think about them for long enough, but be careful on overcharging it

i do nothing but think abt women everyday. have i overcharged it.?

Your natural yuri abilities have given you a resistance to this debuff, but at the cost of being easily flustered by women which temporary disables your abilities

wow...! thanks for the tip! i think im finally ready to face the dark lord!

ghhhooooohh fuck. shes sopretty.

Actually all fossil reconstructions are wrong because flesh only evolved recently. Before that it was bone world

Roughly 1000 of you asked: Did you lie about your age when Princess Diana died?

This is so passive aggressive I’m actually losing my shit

I can not stress how much I quote this irl.