Barcode Music

My brain was transported about 10,000 years into the future while listening to this.

ed sheeran didn’t HAVE to make music that slaps. and he didn’t. next question

im illegalizing straight marriage

a) The word “illegalize” does not exist within the English language, to make something illegal is called “criminalizing” it, legalizing it means to turn something illegal into a legal action

b) Fuck you

im criminalizing straight marriage

Keanu Reeves having an age appropriate girlfriend is quite frankly the most Keanu Reeves thing he's ever done..... and it's very sexy of him.

The bar is still desperately low for straight men I see

this is just. so fucking funny to me

I haven’t stopped laughing at this

hmmm... there's probably an INFINITELY more humane way to do this...

i get that they're not killing them and they end up fine, but imagine the trauma of you, a mammal, going through a long ass tube, not knowing what's going to happen to you, and you can't breathe. 🤷‍♀️

They get misted with water throughout the thing, and it results in fewer injuries than the 'ladder' method. Also, it's a fish. It never knows what's going to happen to it at any point in time throughout its life.

"a mammal"

everytime i see a pair of earrings missing from a multipack at the department store

“She’s a street dog from Malta.  A rescue agency dumped her on a friend then stopped answering the phone.  I volunteered to babysit for a couple days, even though I’m not big on small dogs.  And for some reason she really took a liking to me.  She kept trying to climb up on me.  I was like: ‘What is this thing?’  Her eyes were bugging out of her head.  She was peeing everywhere.  Her nails were two inches long.  And her teeth were falling out so she looked like a vampire.  When I took her to the vet, we found out her heart was enlarged.  Her lungs were filled with fluid.  And she needed all her teeth pulled out.  On the way home I stopped by a store.  I wanted to get a small bag to carry her in, just while she recovered.  But deep down I knew.  If I’m buying a bag for a dog, there’s always going to be a dog in the bag.” (Berlin, Germany)

i hope the world doesn’t turn into mad max bc I can’t drive

Zmsnsmamdkam

I’m reading some of this transcript from this founders brewery lawsuit and omg this man will not admit this man is black.

Here’s an article link if you wanna read

This part tho.

the witch’s hat stays on during sex

‪gun to your head which of the 7 dwarves are you fucking‬