That Cat

being a pepper plant has to be so weird.

Imagine evolving capsaicin specifically to stop mammals from eating your fruits, and then a mammal comes along that not only will eat your fruits, but likes them specifically because of the capsaicin, so much that it starts using its weird paws to distribute and care for your seeds, which turns into a strong selective force that literally starts evolving you into producing MORE capsaicin and makes you a WAY more successful and wider ranged species than you ever were before

simply because this mammal LOVES Pain Chemical. that evolved specifically to produce pain in mammals. It's not that the capsaicin isn't WORKING. It's just that these freaks like it.

This is the same mammal with social instincts so goddamn strong that they literally try to form social bonds with their predators, and end up evolving the predators into a new species that fits into their social communities as a form of mutualistic symbiosis, and exists in several different forms with unique morphology and behaviors based on the function they perform.

Instead of, I don't know, EVOLVING TO BE FASTER, this animal finds a faster animal and sits on it. Which shouldn't even work because the faster animal is a prey animal and this animal is a predator, but SOMEHOW they FORM A SOCIAL BOND WITH THE PREY. So they can sit on it while it runs fast. And somehow the prey animal?? is cool with this?? and benefits from this relationship???

Literally how can you hate humans. Humans are possibly the most hilarious thing evolution has ever done.

other things humans have done

humans worldwide looking up into the celestial vault of stars a million light years away, separated from Earth by the deadly cold and emptiness of space: I bet there are guys up there to form social bonds with

I’m pretty sure that the “humans are space orcs” mini-sci-fi-genre quite literally originated from a collaborative tumblr post on the “isn’t it funny that humans eat capsaicin” prompt!

There have been about 3 major collaborative tumblr posts about it being funny that humans eat capsaicin (one relatively popular one actually written from the perspective of “it must be weird to be a pepper plant evolving capsaicin,” with people writing about other plants inventing compounds and going 😡 when humans like them - it’s cute, see if you can find it) but I’m fairly sure that capsaicin tolerance was where the “humans are space orcs” term was actually coined. Today it’s several subreddits, a TikTok genre, an ao3 tag, and perennial story prompt, with everyone apparently thinking they invented it, but I was there, Gandalf.

Ahh I love that this is a thing. What genre will those peppers prompt next! (And wait! What genres were promoted by other plants??)

The alien ones where they study human behaviors and stuff is also quite entertaining.

I make things when I’m not lazy. 

Enjoy

If it doesn’t play for you then just use permalink and it should work just fine.

Someone draw Chariburt with bling, sunglasses, and a hat please. And have him in speech cloud say “Word”.

@charibert-ffxiv @charibertsmercy @ser-charizard-of-the-holy-see

PLEASE

Welcome to the funniest set of memes I’ve ever seen thank you

Some studios I made for public use. Enjoy!

NYC Data Stories: Allyship

For when people say they’re sick of seeing gay stuff everywhere. Suck it up. 4 years. 4 years. And that’s just on the books, it’s legal. It doesn’t stop shitty attitudes, actions, or straight up violence.

guys what’s a gender neutral term for a parent

I want you to reread what you wrote.

i may be stupid

@vive-la-revolution I just want you to know that you're not alone.

I love the people in the notes going 'uhm actually he was German' because it's made fairly clear by other points in the post that it's not referring to Marx (Marx didn't write about monopoly-capitalism forming into imperialism, and Marx wrote closer to 200 years ago than 100) to the point that, in as much of a Gotcha as it is, it implies they themselves've never read Marx, let alone Lenin.

important hurdle crossed relationship wise w my boyfriend today was i finally realized what is tiring for me might be someone else’s meat pumpkin and that i dont have to worry about him not relaxing the same way i do because we are simply different people. and that is okay

ive also realized that meat pumpkin is not a commonly used term and im just really autistic for zoology and non-domesticated animal care

@combination-nc we share so many meat pumpkins

(Bloomberg) -- Republicans and their longtime corporate allies are going through a messy breakup as companies’ equality and climate goals run headlong into a GOP movement exploiting social and cultural issues to fire up conservatives.

The ensuing drama will unfold over the next two years in the US House, where the incoming GOP majority plans to pressure companies on immigration, equality and climate change stances that are now being assailed by key Republicans as “woke capitalism.”

I sincerely hope that the moronic cunts of the Republican party and every other motherfucker stupid enough to pick this fight absolutely fail to win a single one of these fights they’re stupidly trying to start

It’s not even that I necessarily like any of the businesses involved...it’s just that I like even the absolute worst of them more than I like any of the filthy disease that is the Republican party and their allies and supporters

To quote the very wise words of the great Black Fox: “Even your enemy has enemies

Which doesn’t make them friends, mind you

But useful tools, certainly”

I feel like a dumbass, I am enlightened, and if I’m ever physically capable of sewing again, I am so doing this.

(use Neodymium magnets, guys. Might have to fight to pull them off the scissors afterwards but they won’t fall off while you’re cutting)

These are the only three flaws I will concede, when it comes to the Jedi during the Prequels.

“They got lax/complacent.”

Yeah*. If you listen to the director’s commentary, George Lucas states the scene in AOTC with Jocasta Nu is there to indicate how unprepared the Jedi were before the Sith’s plan. They thought they were secure and ready but they were not and it turns out humble restaurant owners like Dex know things they don't.

*HOWEVER: Who wouldn’t be complacent, in times of peace?

The Sith were thought to be extinct and Dooku was once a Jedi, a revered one at that. Nobody could have suspected he’d betray the Order that raised him and loved him.

Nobody could've suspected that he'd abuse of their trust and delete a system from the Archives using the credentials of his best friend who he'd had assassinated. That's a verrrry specific scenario, and expecting them to be prepared for that is unreasonable.

"They should've sensed something!" Well, by this point in time, everything surrounding the Jedi was tainted by the Dark Side, which clouded everything. So on the one hand, this situation granted Sidious the gift of foresight and allowed them to always be one step ahead, and on the other, it caused the Jedi to be stuck trekking ahead in a fog, unsure of what the next move would be.

“They were politically-inept.”

Yes**. That’s how the Sith ran circles around the Jedi. They figured “there’s only two of us, if we march into the Temple we’ll get slaughtered, but wait, the Jedi serve the Senate and the Senate is run by politicians… what if we become the politicians? Then we can destroy the Jedi and the principles from the inside!”

**HOWEVER: The Jedi were politically-inept by choice.

After all, their function isn’t setting policy but carrying it out. They’re not politicians, they’re diplomats and as such they're not allowed to get involved in the political process.

But if they were... they still wouldn't. Because power corrupts, and if you let the space monks (who already have magical powers) have political power too, then that will lead to a very dark place.

The Jedi knew that if they tried to play politics, they’ll lose because they have neither the ruthlessness nor the status to do it well, so they make it a point of never going anywhere near it.

Unfortunately, that leaves them open to situations where the Senate or Palpatine corner them into doing something they really don’t wanna do.

It's how they were forced to expel Ahsoka, how they lost the favor of the citizens and it's how Dooku, then the Emperor, framed them as power-hungry sorcerers with his propaganda.

“The war made them hypocrites.”

Sure***. The Jedi were meant to be diplomats, not soldiers. By waging war instead of keeping the peace, they’ve compromised on their values.

***HOWEVER: The Jedi know this and they’re not happy about it at all.

Firstly, because they were forced into this situation by the Senate and Palpatine, who drafted them into service.

Secondly, because they know they’re essentially moving ahead blindly and playing right into the Sith Lord’s hand by fighting this war he orchestrated.

But finally, it’s that they know that not joining would’ve been worse. Sticking by their principles would’ve resulted in the enslavement and genocide of many populations. Sometimes, the spirit of the rules must be prioritized over the letter. Either do nothing and be true to your principles, or go against them but save lives.

It’s a bad choice to make, but not as bad as not making one.

It's a bad choice, but it's motivated by a desire to do some good and it did. They saved countless lives (sometimes at the cost of their own) and inspired countless more to form the Rebellion, later on.

So... three flaws.

But they all come with asterisks. There’s a reasonable (sometimes, even admirable) justification for each of them.

I’m pointing these out because a lot of people seem to conflate “the Jedi were flawed” with “the Jedi were at fault” when talking about their own demise. And the answer to that is:

No.

The Jedi were not at fault. Everybody else was.

Sometimes bad people win.

That doesn't always mean the good guys are at fault. Sometimes, the bad guys are just… better at the game. Mostly because they see it as a game, and the good guys don't.

Luckily, 20 years later, most of the above faults were rectified by the Rebellion, which was led by the best of the Senate, and composed of Separatist remnants and brave citizens of the galaxy.

Put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe. 

forge

“When the handle has snapped off the basket that held all your eggs…” gone girl tier monologue

wow she read them down

Okay but why people acting like she's projecting her own life's experience. Bitch look around. There are literally real world examples of exactly what she's talking about all around you. It doesn't have to be her story, live a little and observe some shit, talk to some fucking people. Many of us have watched this shit happen to several women in real fucking time. Your mothers and grandmothers are probably the women she's speaking of or you've probably grown up around women who are. I don't think she's bitter, I think she's observed and heard enough examples to know what tf she's talking about. As have myself and several women in the notes agreeing with her.

Watching the discarded women she's talking about out in the world gives me this strange mix of schadenfreude and soul-draining sorrow, because that video right there is more accurate than a point-blank headshot.

The lack of solidarity between disabled people, intersex people, fat people and trans people *ALWAYS* confuses me because we have so many overlapping issues and are all denied bodily autonomy and self determination and are frequently forced into conforming to standards that actively harm us...

Yet there's like, no movement to unite all 4 of these groups under one banner??

So much of disability activism ends up being fatphobic bc of disabled people who are trying to "prove" they're not "just lazy".

So much of trans activism ends up being intersexist because lack of education and trying to "prove" that there aren't children getting gender confirmation surgeries to the people who want us gone.

So much of fat activism I've run into completely ignores trans people and often butts head with disability issues.

(Intersex activism, in what I've seen of it, is actually really good about being inclusive and not fucking shitty)

But like...with all four of these groups, our bodies are treated as broken, wrong and in need of fixing so that they conform to specific beauty and productivity standards...

(I say "our" bc I belong to 3/4 of those groups but I am, as far as I am aware, perisex.)

just once I want to see a good post critiquing makeup culture that doesn’t turn out to be made by some janky radfem blog

oh hey!! I’m not a janky radfem I can do it myself!

makeup culture is wack and normalizes a ludicrously high bar as the bare minimum women can do. I saw a “lazy"makeup tutorial the other day that listed 22 separate goddamn products. you’re supposed to buy and know how to use 22 different things on your face just for the privilege of being considered lazy and that’s uuuuuuh what’s the word? bullshit.

Really, five products could work, even 3. Just frame the face, eyes, lips, and you’re done.

0 products also works great

because I’m gonna be real here, the idea that 22 products is a minimum sucks but it’s really upsetting that any amount of makeup is the bare minimum at all

I would really just suggest some powder foundation, concealer, mascara and lipgloss/lipstick, or tbh just mascara works too, but that’s up to you

I’m sorry if I didn’t express this clearly enough in the original post but I’m not really looking for more concise makeup regiments. my intention was to point out how it’s Bad that makeup is considered a bare minimum at all, regardless of individual feelings on the matter

no face should be “required” to have “a minimum” of makeup. makeup has no health benefits and does nothing but fill the pockets of companies that prey on women and our insecurities.

makeup should not be seen as hygiene because it isnt. get that shit out of your head.

this post: makeup culture is ridiculous and 22 products should not be considered a minimum requirement for someones face. no one should have to do that

the notes: so like……. what youre saying is……. we need to make the minimum about 5 or 6 instead… i gotcha

Really the only makeup you need is eyeliner but that’s just my personal opinion

okay

where did we lose you

why are people like this

#nobody survived this post

Finally, someone fucking gets it and the post comes across my dash.

the most annoying thing abt anti-kink queer people is that when you point out that gayness has always been considered a kink by homophobes, they jump in with "umm but being gay isn't a kink!! that's homophobic!!!! saying that gay people and kinky people are in the same fight means you think gay people are gross perverts!!!! homophobia!!!!!!!!!!!"

like congratulations! you are doing exactly what they want!!!! in your desperate search for social acceptability you have tried to place yourself on the same side as straight people ("people with normal, non-offensive sexualities" vs "people with dangerous, offensive, strange sexualities") not understanding that they will never actually let you have the same social acceptance they do while ALSO helping them hurt the exact people they want to hurt who should be your closest allies!!! your hubristic desire for assimilation into the heterosexual american dream will most likely end with you thrown aside as a gross fag the first chance they get while in the mean time you are becoming an arm of the exact cisheteropatriarchy you claim to be against!!! aaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!

they will ALWAYS see us as gross perverts. they will see YOU as a gross pervert, a kinky freak, a sex criminal, even if all you ever do is politely hold hands with your partner and kiss them on the cheek. instead of trying to find a grosser pervert that you can help them condemn so they release you from gross perverthood, maybe try asking this question: what's so wrong with gross perverts?

What really kills me about this discourse is that it’s literally as old as queer liberation movements themselves, like, Nicht der Homosexuelle ist pervers, sondern die Situation, in der er lebt (Not the homosexual is perverse, but the situation in which he lives) is a German film that came out in 1972 and kicked off gay liberation movements all over Europe, first gay kiss on German tv and everything, and its central thesis was to criticize both the inherent emptiness and deep self-loathing of trying to assimilate into bourgeois culture (often making those who try even more conservative than the equivalent straights), and the kind of cruising culture that values people only as bodies and discards anyone who doesn’t conform to a narrow beauty standard, and it’s proposed solution was: We must become something even more depraved and perverted. A proud, politically conscious queer person

Also this is all explained by your friendly neighborhood naked queer commune, in what is definitely the aftermath of a great orgy

Rebloggering myself to add: Today is Rosa von Praunheim (the director)'s 80th birthday go have a political orgy in his honour or something

oh fuck yeah. to celebrate: here's the full movie on Vimeo with english captions ;)

NOT CUTE, RECLAIMING THE NIGHT SKY, TTTTTCCHCHHHHTTTCCHHHHTTTRHCJCHTCHTHC

everyone saying "oh but this is okay" you are part of the problem, they will build consent for stealing our night skies by using these cutesy lil displays of your media franchise favorite characters; and before you can blink snorlax will be selling you product and our stars will be lost to us. do you want to lose the stars? are you so lost, so devoid of wonder, that the theft of the night sky from you means nothing to you?

Putting snorlax up there is already selling a product