My friends who just got their first glasses: i need this highly expensive special cloth to wipe them, I also have this eyeglass cleaner from the same company, did you know you shouldn't use your t shirt unless it's specifically soft
Me who's worn glasses since middle school: *slaps soap onto the glasses and washes them in the sink then wipes them with toilet paper* what
Did I stutter
Mah men
Our ranks are getting stronger
okay this one wins, everyone go home
this is a message for everyone who is 22. if you’re 22 please stop worrying. take a deep breath eat a bagel maybe. everything that feels impossible is going to work itself out. have a great day
do u have a message for 25 year olds
uhhhhh 2 bagels?
I'm 32. When I was in my early twenties, I overheard a pair of 50ish year old women talking about the ideal age to stay at permanently. One said, "Everyone says 25. I wouldn't want to be in my twenties forever. Everything is hard and you get upset too easily."
Hearing her say that helped me so much. I thought about it countless times. Every time things felt overwhelming, I remembered what she said. The words of this total stranger, who wasn't even talking directly to me, brought me a lot of comfort, so I hope they can help you, too.
you weren’t a “well behaved” child you had anxiety and were terrified of conflict
people on here are always saying “we NEED a story where the art of storytelling is abandoned” like ugh literary devices are soo annoying like that wouldn’t happen in real life that only happened to further the story (why is there story in my story) why would orpheus turn around when he was explicitly told not to why would icarus fly so close to the sun romeo&juliet catcher in the rye why are they so earnest why pour your heart and soul into anything why bother why cant all art be quippy logical monotony like my marvel movies there’s a void in my heart bc i refused to fill it and the curtains were blue
“i hate poetry its so pretentious” but then you reblog a quote or a throwaway line and say “why does this go so hard” you are desperate for poetry you are starved for it and u dont even realise you’re hungry
nothing will ever be funnier to me than the 30-50 feral hogs joke phase, I think about it at least once a week
Happy 30-50 feral hogs day
God, what a simpler time.
Where’s the wild hog America map that shows that this guy likely lives on a border or near the coast, as those are obviously impenetrable zones of swine
I want one of those scenes in a dude bro film where “tomboy” chick has to wear a dress to go undercover or whatever, but instead of the guys drooling as she walks down the stairs, they’re like “k. U need to stop. Go put the cargo pants back on. You look super uncomfortable and awkward in that. Brutus, you go be the fake prostitute.”
I’m just imagining this super ripped guy called Brutus being like ‘YESSS!!! I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE THE FAKE PROSTITUTE!! Now is my time to shine!!’
so I got inspired… and had to make a comic….
*wipes away a single tear* Yes.
Miss Congeniality, but with The Rock instead of Sandra Bullock
He looks so ready. XD
“My time has come.”
Plot twist she’s his bodyguard
I specifically went back through my reblogs to find these
ANTI-CAPITALIST AFFIRMATIONS
if i made tv shows i would insist on having those "previously on..." recaps at the start of each episode because they're fun and also so i could use one of them to show a series of events that definitely never happened in the story before being like "oops! wrong timeline lol" and cutting to the actual opening and never acknowledging what the fuck just happened again
A billionaire can lose 99% of their money and still have generational wealth while some people are one unexpected emergency bill away from being homeless.
there’s a communism fandom tag
the more you look at this the worse it gets i stg
Dear tumblr staff,
stop. its ok. you don’t need to do these things. just focus on functionality(like the video player). we don’t need these little updates when somethings(like the video player) need your focus. thank you for your time but really, tumblr looks great. try to fix more important things(like the video player) so that we can all properly enjoy the features of tumblr(like the video player)
This post is a decade old this year.
“Wait if I sheath my sword will he not attac-DID THIS TWINK JUST SLAP ME?!”
Thanks @niksfake
just like me fr
I cannot put into words how much I Fucking Loathe the fact that when you search something on youtube now it will randomly intersperse blocks of "people also watched" and "for you" into the results. That's not what I searched for, youtube. I typed in a search query because I wanted to see search results, not random unrelated garbage you have placed in my way apparently to either inconvenience me or force me to scroll further for actual results. I despise your wretched little games and every time I see it I can only instantly close the tab as I am overcome with the urge to burn something down.
"I despise your wretched little games" perfectly conveys how I feel about the entire algorithm/attention economy
They also refuse to actually show the parameters you searched for. If you sort by “upload date,” the first few videos might be more recent ones by upload date, but anything past that you’ll find a video that was uploaded five years ago, then five months ago, then three years ago, etc, which—NO! That’s NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR!! PUT THEM IN ORDER!!!
Also sometimes the “people also watched” bullcrap will not only be entirely unrelated, it will also be videos with violent, sometimes outright triggering thumbnails. I’ve gotten some AWFUL unrelated video thumbnails just when searching for video game music videos.
Roommate went out of town once, asked me to look after her cat.
Night one she comes down meowing at me. I go check her food/water, they're full. Litter box empty. Make sure my roommate's door is still open and she's not locked out of her room or something. I try to pet her and she dodges me, offer her treats and she won't have it, try playing with her but she won't play, try just ignoring her and she won't stop following me around meowing at me.
So I call my roommate, concerned maybe she was sick or in pain and that's why she was being so insistent despite having all her needs met.
Roommate goes: "OH! She wants you to go to bed. Go upstairs to my room and just sit in my bed with her for a few minutes. She should curl up and get comfortable. Once shes laid down she usually lets me go back to what I'm doing she just can't seem to go to bed on her own"
Sure enough, I go sit on roommates bed and she just happily jumps up, curls up on the blanket, and purrs herself to sleep.
Neither femme nor masc but a third more wicked thing....... Boring
Can we just… normalize teens loving their parents? Like obviously you’re not obligated to if your parents are shitty, but damn, I love my mom. She’s there for me all the time and sure we have rough patches but honestly she’s the greatest. Like. We need teens to know that they don’t have to hate their parents just cause.
It must be nice to come from a nonabusive family. One that doesn’t traumatized every emotional interaction to the point where you drive away any sign of love as a form of manipulation because that’s all that you were raised with. 🤷♀️
It is.
Reading Comprehension
but loving ur parents is already normalized and its the kids w/ abusive parents that actually have to deal with misunderstandings and ignorance from others regarding this topic.
Hey there, I’m talking about the trope where it’s seen as super uncool to like your parents that was literally pushed on teens through the media since the culture shift in the early 60s. The post has nothing to do with abusive parents. I was abused as a kid and honestly if the trope where teens have to hate their parents to be cool died, then kids with actual abusive parents would have an easier time recognizing abuse this has been a psa
“if the trope where teens have to hate their parents to be cool died, then kids with actual abusive parents would have an easier time recognizing abuse”
Teen with abusive parents: I hate my parents
Teen influenced by society: Me too mine are the worst
The takeaway for teen 1: This is normal and it’s supposed to be this way
The takeaway for teen 2: My friend’s parents are like mine
The takeaway for any adult listening: All kids who complain about their parents are just being rebellious
this is important
why must we play god
Artistic representation of how the lemon was invented in the first place
"citrus are whores" is not something i expected to see on the hellsite today
I’m not wrong though they are EASILY the sluttiest fruits. You don’t see Rosales pulling this shit. I mean yeah apples will breed weird new apples but nothing fucks around like citrus.
Tags that look homophobic without context
I MEAN technically squashes are fruits and they are also EXTREMELY SLUTTY.
The lemon and lime fanfic warnings ARE based on scientific fact.
The lemon and lime
fanfic warnings ARE based on
scientific fact.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
[Video description: Four videos that have been stitched together; the first three are captioned. One: A lawyer in a suit says smugly, "I sued a 9-year-old kid and won!" Two: A bearded person sits outside and says ironically, "I challenged a nine year old kid to a basketball game and won." Three: A person wearing a yellow bandanna as a sweatband says dramatically, "I challenged a nine year old kid to a bench press competition, and won." Four: A (presumably) nine year old kid walks across a lawn, shaking their head slightly and sounding out of breath as they say, "I had the worst day of my life." End description.]
Description by @mocweepe
No song nor poetry can convey tragedy like a cat who wants through a door
