Helpful Links:

Activities and DIY:

Interactives: 

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"Roses galore 🌸 #worldinbloom” @Meandering Macaron"

Malmesbury Abbey Gardens by jacquemart Via Flickr: Wiltshire

Take Action

We’re all afraid.  Here are things you can do.

Note: Of course not everything in this post is feasible or achievable for all people.  It’s not meant to be one size fits all; rather, just suggestions for things to do if you feel powerless.  It’s also not meant to be fearmongering.  I don’t know if Trump will be able to achieve all he’s talked about, or how quickly it will happen if he can.  But it’s better to plan for the worst than to be caught off guard.

Get a Library Card

There’s more to libraries than checking out books and movies.  Libraries provide free Internet access and librarians can assist in things like research and creating résumés.  Librarians fight to defend intellectual freedoms.  Libraries offer printing and copying services for low costs.  Libraries can provide afterschool activities and storytimes for children.  You can research anything in a library, from how to start a small business to where to find a doctor.  And libraries are warm when it’s cold outside.  Support your local library.

Financial Planning

The stock market is already suffering as a result of the election.  We don’t know how many of his economic policies Trump will be able to implement, but we do know that economists have widely agreed that his proposals would cause recession.  If you have stocks, a 401(k), a Roth IRA, or any other investments or bonds, schedule a meeting with your employer/broker/accountant/financial advisor as soon as possible.  Find out what you can do now to try and protect your investments in the long term.

Create a budget if you don’t already have one.  Even if you’re completely broke, there may still be ways to budget.  Try and get the most bang for your buck with grocery purchases.   Check out Jack Monroe’s blog.  They’re focused around feeding yourself in times of poverty, based on lived experience.  Save all that you can.

The websites I’ve linked are not the only websites about these issues, and I’m not even sure that they’re the best. I’m very lucky to be financially stable, for the most part, so don’t take my word as gospel.  Search all over the web.  Look for coupons and discounts online, and keep on the lookout for deals in your community.  Don’t be proud: if you have the opportunity to get something that you need for cheap or even free, take it.

Get an ID

Voter suppression and the closing of DMVs in low-income areas is only going to get worse once the GOP has full governmental control.  Try and get a driver’s license or a state-issued ID card as soon as possible.  If the nearest DMV is far away, consider carpooling with others who also need IDs.

Make sure your ID is valid and not expired.  Some states allow you to renew ID online.  Check to see what’s available in your area.

If you don’t have a passport, get one.  They can be used as a secondary form of ID and it can take months to receive a passport once you start the process.  We don’t know if Trump’s immigration proposals will have an effect on the ability of citizens to apply for and receive passports, but it’s best to start the process now.  Here is a guide for transgender people regarding passport application.

Contact Your Representatives

Do this early and often.  I’m only half-kidding when I tell you to be like Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption and write every day.  Find your representatives here.  Contact them immediately, be it by phone, email, or physical letter.  Let them know that you oppose Trump and will oppose them in future elections if they stand by him.  Use the sample letter template in this post if you’re unsure of what to say.  Contact your representatives often about any issue that matters to you, and encourage others to do the same.

It’s best to send physical letters if you can, as they have to be opened, read, and digitized by officials, and so are harder to ignore.  But any method of contact is better than no method.  Make your voice heard.

Vote

I know that we just finished what feels like the longest presidential campaign in history, and that we’re tired and demoralized.  But the 2018 midterm elections are hugely important, and we cannot afford to ignore them.  Every seat in the House of Representatives will be up for election.  Historically, Democrats do not tend to vote in mid-terms, and that has to change.

Register to vote if you are not already registered.  If you have moved or changed your name, make sure your registration information is updated.  Tell your friends and family to register to vote.  Tell everyone to vote, and tell them often.  Volunteer with Rock the Vote or with local organizations.  We have no hope for change through apathy; we have to take action.

Protect Others

Those of us in positions of privilege, be it due to race, gender, religion, sexuality, or gender identity, have to stand with the people who have been threatened and targeted by Trump and his supporters.  If you see someone being harassed, take action.  Do not directly confront the aggressor in situations of active harassment; instead, engage the victim in conversation and ignore the aggressor.  If you see violence, immediately call 911.  If you can record the violence with your phone, do.  

If you hear bigoted talk in your workplace, make complaints to HR.  If you hear it in other establishments, demand to talk to a manager.  If you hear it within your social groups, it cannot be tolerated.  That doesn’t mean you have to shout at someone that they’re a homophobic asshole.  You won’t change anyone’s mind that way.  But saying something like “That joke isn’t funny because it contributes to stereotypes that hurt lesbians” might make an impact.  At the very least, you will have let the person know that what they’ve said isn’t tolerated. It’s hard to stand up to your friends, but it’s necessary.

Start a Gay-Straight Alliance or a PFLAG chapter, or join a pre-existing one.  Find diversity programs within your community, or try to form groups if there aren’t any currently.  Be there for your marginalized neighbors.  Make it clear that hatred and prejudice has no place in your community.

If you are able, donate to or volunteer with organizations that protect the marginalized, such as:

You can also donate or volunteer with organizations that protect refugees and others overseas, such as:

Donate clothes and food to food banks, soup kitchens, and other organizations to help the poor.  Donate diapers and menstrual products as well.  Here are some of the most needed items.

Even if you are unable to donate or volunteer, you can still spread information about these organizations and the work that they do through social media or conversation.

Make Your Voice Heard

Find local organizations and protests.  You can find community groups on sites like Meetup or Craigslist.  Protests can be found on sites such as Popular Resistance and Protest With Me.  Join your county’s Democratic party.  Organize write-ins.  Take part in parades.  Make yourself visible and audible.  If your rights are violated at a protest, contact the ACLU.

Social media is another great tool for spreading information.  I’m not saying devote your blog, your Facebook, and your life to spamming one political post after another.  But putting out articles and resources in moderation, or reblogging them, can help to raise awareness.

Fight for the Environment

Trump doesn’t believe in climate change, and now he’ll be able to appoint the head of the Environmental Protection Agency.  He’s also stated that he wants to pull us out of the Paris Agreement.

We have to fight for the planet.  No matter what other strides we make, the Earth is the only home we’ve got.  Don’t just write letters to your representatives about opposing Trump’s bigotry.  Make sure they know that you demand they fight for the planet as well. 

Here is a list of some of the best environmental charities.  Again, even if you can’t donate or volunteer, you can spread information.  Here are steps you can take in your life to reduce environmental impact.  Try to reduce the amount of animal products in your diet.  Obviously, that isn’t feasible for everyone, for many reasons, but animal agriculture has a huge carbon footprint, so if we can reduce our use of it as a society, that can only help.

Healthcare

If your healthcare comes through the Affordable Care Act, make doctor’s appointments right now.  Even if you think you’re perfectly healthy, there could be an underlying issue.  If the ACA is abolished, it will not be instantaneous, so take advantages of the services early and as often as you can.  Refill and reorder your prescriptions.  Consider getting an IUD if you’re worried about birth control.

See if you have access to any federally qualified health centers.  These health centers charge on a sliding scale and will work with their patients on payment plans.  The centers have existed for longer than the ACA, so hopefully even if the ACA is abolished, we’ll still have access to them.

Support Planned Parenthood.  We all know that they help to protect our reproductive freedoms, but they offer so many services beyond that as well.  Volunteer, donate, and spread information.  Looking for a job or know someone who is?  Planned Parenthood needs more than just medical staff.  Circulate their list of available positions.

Make a YouCaring account in case you need to crowdfund for medical treatment.  If you are disabled, chronically ill, etc., see if there are charities or government programs that might be able to aide you.

Legal Rights

If you are trans and want to change your name, try to do it now.  Likewise, if you are in a same-sex relationship and want to be married, get married now and have the ceremony you want later.

I am not trying to fearmonger.  We don’t know the extent of Trump’s plans when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community.  But we do know the vile things that his running mate Mike Pence supports.  And we know that the GOP controls Congress and likely the Supreme Court at this point.  So take advantage of the rights that you have now.

Support the ACLU.  They will stand up for freedom of expression against Donald Trump, as well as other civil liberties, and they have been hugely effective in these efforts for nearly a hundred years.

Support the freedom of the press.  Don’t just read free articles on websites.  Pay for journalism.  If you absolutely can’t afford to, at least disable your ad block on journalistic websites.

Reach Out

This is the hardest step and I know that no one wants to hear it right now, when the wounds are still raw.  But it’s necessary for us to move forward as a nation.

All bigots voted for Trump, but not everyone that voted for Trump is a bigot.  Some are ignorant or afraid.  We will have to reach out to these people if we want to change the future.  People can change, even bigots, as demonstrated in this Washington Post article about Derek Black, the son of Stormfront’s founder, who denounced his white supremacist views after he got to know the diverse population of his college.

Please understand, I am not asking anyone to risk their own safety.  If you will be harmed by Trump supporters, if you fear for yourself, then you come first and you have to take steps to stay safe.  But for those who have the ability to do so, we have to reach out.

Become involved in your community.  Get to know people.  Challenge their views.  Don’t scream at them about how they’re bigots or how they’ve supported sexual assault by electing Trump.  Have conversations.  Share your worldview.  Gently challenge their pre-conceived notions.  You don’t have to do it right now, when we’re all so scared and hurting.  But it has to be done eventually, or nothing can change.

Take Care of Yourself

We’re all scared and hurting, and that’s all right.  Being strong and brave isn’t about not feeling fear; it’s about moving on in spite of that fear.  We have many struggles ahead of us, and they won’t be easy, so we have to be sure to take care of ourselves.

Remember to breathe.  Remember to drink and eat and sleep.  If you feel like shit, find out why and see what you can do to feel better.  Talk to friends.  Spend time on your hobbies, or other things that will help you unwind.

Stay safe, everyone.  We’re all in this together, and I’ll be rooting for all of you.

San Francisco by patrix15 

$2,900,000/5 br

a duplex (this is unit 1, unit 2 coming soon)

3,866 sq ft

San Francisco, CA

built in 1900

where has this been all my life??

this is how you get tea to not be bitter. I didn’t like green tea until I learned not to brew it with boiling water.

my brother is obsessed with tea and gets really mad and lectures you if you dont brew it right … yikes

@opensourceslut

if someone does the “fine, you’re right, i’m clearly a terrible person, i’m satan, i’m the worst person alive, i should just die” thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate ppl and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim

stop tolerating this in 2k17 tbh. like really and truly, if you or your friend thinks this is okay pls call the hotline on the bottom of the screen and learn how to take responsibility for your bad behavior 

The bad thing is I do this on a regular basis. Not because I want to manipulate people, but because that’s actually how I feel. I’m bad at receiving concrit. I can’t say that everyone who reacts this way feels the same as I do, but…not every case is like that.

have you considered that, regardless of your intentions, reacting in such an exaggerated way would make it very difficult for anyone to criticize you or tell you that you’re harming people with your behavior? i’m not interested in searching out people’s motives, i don’t really care why someone does or says manipulative things. being unable or unwilling to simply apologize and not make it about themselves is a solid indicator that a person is not interested in being held accountable for their bad behavior, and people, especially the injured parties in question, shouldn’t have to tolerate it.

take responsibility for your bad behavior 2k17 tbh

Okay, life lesson time. 

When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I kept getting involved with people who would say, “Oh, I’m a bad person” any time I brought up ANYTHING that was the least bit of a disagreement. 

Like, “Please don’t leave my X on the floor” would get, “Oh, I’m a horrible person!”

HERE’S WHY THIS IS A HUGELY PROBLEMATIC BEHAVIOR, and if you think I”m calling you out and you think you’re about to shut down, take a breath, remember that this is about learning, and keep reading.

What is important is what happened after. My boyfriend might say, “Oh, I’m just an awful boyfriend” and instead of him acknowledging the BEHAVIOR and working on fixing it, he’d get me trying to buck him up for the next half hour, telling him he was a good person. The behavior that started it all would not change.

Well, things led to things and I went back home to live for a while, and found that the same exact thing was happening… with my mother.

And then I learned about pattern arguments. Pattern arguments are the ones where you keep having the same nonproductive argument over and over again. They don’t all follow this pattern, but this is a really common one.

The trick?

BREAK THE PATTERN

First you have to know what the pattern is. In this case: 1. Grievance 2. Self deprecation 3. Ego stroking So, with my mother, we started in on one of these, and she said, “I guess I’m just a terrible mother.” And instead of reassuring her, instead of derailing the issue and letting it go… I said, “When you say that, it makes me wonder how terrible a daughter I could be that you would think you were a bad mother. We have this conversation this way over and over, and the problem that I have always gets pushed aside in favor of trying to make you feel better. When you’re willing to have a real conversation about this, I’m happy to talk to you, but I’m bored with this argument, so I’ll see you later if you want to really talk.” And I left the room. Now, my mom is a reasonably self-aware person, and does a lot of hard emotional work, and so she got it, very quickly. 10 minutes later she came out and found me, and we had a real conversation about whatever the hell the issue really was, and we have literally NEVER had that particular pattern argument again in 23 years.  Boyfriend came to visit. I was upset about something, he started in on the “I’m just a shitty boyfriend” thing… and my response? “Yep. You are.” His jaw dropped. He blinked. And I said, “Look, that’s what you do. You say shit like that and it means you don’t have to change your behavior, and I’m tired of the pattern we have where I tell you something isn’t working for me, you tell me you’re terrible, and I spend half an hour making you feel better. I’m tired of it and I”m not doing it anymore. If you’re willing to have an actual conversation about this, and not just the same old argument, I’m game. But this thing we do where you talk yourself down and I butter you up? Is boring. And I’m over it.” We also did not have that argument again. (The relationship finally ended for real a while after, but it ended in a grown-up way, and not with a ridiculous meaningless fight.) When you knock yourself down, the gut instinct for the people around you is to pick you up. But that means you’re not pulling your weight in the relationship. You’re making them do the work and you’re not actually hearing them. So that brings us to another point:

How to deal with criticism

Okay, so if you’re not going to knock yourself down when someone says something negative about you, what DO you do? We don’t actually train people to take criticism well. But it is an art and a skill and NECESSARY to finding emotional stability in the face of a critical world.

I see it as a flow chart, but since the flow chart I made for it ended up in a book that I don’t own the copyright to (not a big deal) I’ll write out the decision tree here instead: 1. Someone offers criticism (constructive or not!)

2. Listen and think about it without immediately trying to defend yourself. You can say, “Okay, I need a moment to take that in and think about it because I want to understand it.” Or something else appropriate to the situation. It is okay to ask for time to think in most circumstances. Most people will appreciate that you are thinking about their words instead of immediately getting defensive or counterattacking. Think about whether what they are saying is valid, might be valid or is not valid. 

3A. If it is valid, then you have a choice. You can try to fix the behavior or you can acknowledge that it is a valid criticism but decide you aren’t likely to fix it. Start by acknowledging the validity of the criticism, and then say what you’re going to do to fix it, or say that it’s valid but it isn’t something you’re willing (or possibly able) to change, or say that it’s a valid criticism and you’ll need to think about possible solutions. They may have a suggestion. Taking it or not is also a choice. 

3B. If you’re not sure it’s valid, but it might be, tell them, “I really need to give this some more thought.” or “Can you tell me more about this? I’m not sure I understand the issue well.”  Or “If you can point me at some reading material or search terms, I’d like to study this before I decide what I’m going to do.” 

3C. If you know it is not a valid criticism, STOP a moment, and look at WHY they are making it. This is where Active Listening can be very helpful. “I hear you saying that X is a problem. I don’t see it that way right now but I’d like to understand better why you do.” Or if you think they don’t have enough information, “I hear you saying X, but my understanding of the issue is Y. Here’s what I know about it if you’re ready to listen.” If they’re just looking for a fight, tell them you’re not interested in fighting, and disentangle yourself. 

4. If the criticism is something you are going to listen to and take action on, tell them what kind of action you’re going to take. If it’s something you’re hearing and thinking about, tell them that. If it’s not something you’re going to do anything about or it’s just wrong, thank them for their input and move on.

Literally never is it going to be helpful to say, “Oh, I’m just a terrible person.” That’s very much like a nonapology-apology in terms of how unhelpful it is to any conversation. It’s kind of worse because it actually expects emotional labor from someone who is already having to bring up something unpleasant with you. Think about what they say Decide whether you’re going to do something about it Do the thing, or tell them you’re not going to do the thing.  Don’t demand emotional labor from other people when you were the one who messed up. 

Apologize if appropriate.  This is all predicated on the notion that you’re talking to someone who actually wants to communicate and isn’t just an asshole on the attack.  Because seriously, the whole “I’m a terrible person” thing?  Boring as fuck. Knock that shit off. Maybe you are. Maybe you aren’t. But take responsibility and have a little self-respect and don’t make others pick your emotional dirty towels off the metaphorical bathroom floor. 

@celestial-poro

Guide to Figuring out the Age of an Undated World Map.

I just uploaded a video on the @psych2go youtube channel about Howard Gardner’s 9 types of intelligence! Give it a watch and let me know what type applies to you in the coments :D

Watch It Here 

Marie-laure Cruschi  -  http://www.cruschiform.com  -  https://www.facebook.com/cruschiform  -  http://cruschiform.blogspot.com.es  -  https://www.instagram.com/cruschiform

Film masterpost highlighting the stories of women of color. Representation of women of color in film is quite scarce, so here are some films I think showcase a wide range of perspectives and experiences that we don't get to see on our movie screens.

The Bechdel Test is a popular and very simple test to judge movies on their level of representation. For a movie to pass: (1) it has to have at least two women in it, who (2) who talk to each other, about (3) something besides a man.  If you ever want to check if a film passes the test, check here. For now, under the cut are the links to movies made before 1970 that do pass. (more masterposts)

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