It's my 7 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
When I say "I love you", I don’t just mean "I love being around you", "I love the way you talk to me", "I love your good traits", "I love the things you make." I mean I love every single part of you, both good and bad. I love the highs and lows of you. I love your humanity, I love every inch of you from perfection to flaw. I love you as a part of my beloved Earth. When I say "I love you", I really mean to say, "all of you is welcome in me."
– Via "platonic-suggestions" on Tumblr
on love and devotion
unknown // richard siken, litany in which some things are crossed out // hera lindsay bird, I KNEW I LOVED YOU WHEN YOU SHOWED ME YOUR MINECRAFT WORLD // warsan shire // clementine von radics, the next time we talk on facebook // amal el-mohtar and max gladstone, this is how you lose the time war // k.c. cramm, christmas eve forever
KIEKIECARRERA’S BIG OBX3 COUNTDOWN: T - 5 DAYS One Trope → Found Family
Do you know that line in The Perks of Being a Wallflower? The one that says “this one moment when you know you’re not just a sad story. You are alive.” that resonates so much with me, because it’s true, it’s so damn true!
I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but life isn’t supposed to be one big mass of pain, it really isn’t. You are so allowed to seek for happiness, and to fight with your nails and teeth for it, to screw off people that aren’t good for you, to say no, to do whatever it is that helps you and that makes you happy. You can scream, you really can, you can rip pages, you can fuck your room up, if necessary. Feel it, because you didn’t deserve that pain, you really didn’t, friend. So rage if you need to, or lay down, or cry, or watch that movie that makes you forget everything else, or listen to that music that you hold in your heart. Let your heart rest, and maybe it won’t be that heavy when you wake up.
as you get older, you realize that you’re not always right and there’s so many things you could’ve handled better, so many situations where you could’ve been kinder and all you can really do is forgive yourself and let your mistakes make you a better person.
There's a void in me. I feel empty and lonely. Stupid isn't it? I'm in relationship but i still feel this way. Deep down im broken.
It's really stupid of me to vent in here.I don't have anyone to listen and i don't want them to know either. Probably they will be judging me if i share what I'm feeling. Life is really shitty with alot of shitting people.
Deep down im actually hurting,but I try to not show it so i put on a mask showing I'm doing fine , I'm happy but I'm actually hurting. I only have iman now. He's the only one who's been there for me ,who always supports me . I know it sounds cringe but without him, I don't know what would happen to me. Day by Day I'm living it's because of him. I've been through so much and I'm really tired. I'm tired of this never ending pain. I'm not happy, I'm tired of this pain.
I feel so hurt cause i have two groupmate who treats me as if I'm so dumb and unreliable.Maybe they are right. When I don't say anything, they start assuming and say things that makes me feel upset but when i do say things,i regret cause i sound so dumb. Why do i feel like everything that i do is so stupid,what i say sounds so dumb. How i think makes me feel like I'm so stupid. That's why i decided to talk less and listen more. I hate that I'm so fragile,i hate that i get hurt easily. I hate that i always say sorry all the time cause i feel like everything is my fault. I hate that I'm so stupid and always depending on others. Some people are not nice. I hate that i always care about other people's feelings but not mine. I hate that I can't stood up for myself. I hate everything about myself.
Losing a bestfriend.
Part of me just lost and I'm hurting. If only she knew ,why i did what i did. I was jealous because she's the only best friend that i had ,the only person i talk to everyday and seeing her having someone else in her life angers me. I know i have a problem,i knew i was jealous but she knew i was distancing myself from her and i turn cold towards her . I lost my 13 years of friendship and it hurts,it truly hurts. I think of her everyday,how could i not? I knew her since i was little. But I know she's doing okay,she has someone who truly loves her ,she has friends who is there for her and i wish nothing but the best for her.
All of us fight hidden, silent battles against not being good enough, not having enough and not belonging enough.
Brené Brown (via quotemadness)
Source: quotemadness.com
I want to get better. I want to give in. I want to hoard all the feelings I’ve ever had and keep them safely hidden. I want to make good art. I want to make bad art. I want to finish school and prove all those motherfuckers that treatment and school are not only enemies. I want to cut my hair, my skin, my face. I want your name white-line scarred into my skin. I want to grow. I want to give in to every burst of happiness that I experience. I want to let go of the things that hold me back. I want to believe that that’s possible. I want the fear to go away. I want the hope. I want to become a bit more who I want to be. I want to be kind. I want to be loving. I want to be caring. I want you to know that I love you. And I want it to not hurt. I want to feel safe. I want to scream. I want my therapist to fix me and I want it now. I want to not need her. I want to not need fixing. I want to be happier. I want the anxiety to go away. I want to not want anything anymore. I want to stop needing things, to not be vulnerable or dependent. I want to stop caring. I want you to know that wanting things is all that keeps me here sometimes. Whether I want more or less, it’s always something to go for. And I want. I want to die and not be afraid of it. I want to live and not be afraid of it. And I want to feel SAFE*. I WANT…. I WANT PEACE.. -B.
"It's the middle of the night and I started to breakdown, overthinking about everything and all I wanted was someone to be there for me and hold me tight while I cried my eyes out."
— notes from the lonely girl
