Just Breathe

sometimes I look online for videogame guides and it’s almost always useless specifically because of how much of a mess I am. they’re like “here’s 500 of our best tips, tricks, and secrets!” and I’m like yes that’s all well and good but I’m here because I forgot which button opens the map and the game won’t tell me again

Polygon or IGN or something: This puzzle is pretty tough! Here’s a step-by-step of how to get out of the dungeon.

Me: No, you misunderstand, I already solved this complicated physics puzzle! My problem is that now I can’t find the stairs. :(

To anybody not in the Neopets community y’all are missing the craziest hobby drama™️ right now. Basically tl;dr is that Neopets’ parent company announced that Neopets would be releasing THOUSANDS of NFTs without even telling the actual staff team responsible for the Neopets site. They literally initially state that they think the NFT announcement is a scam. Once it comes into light that it’s not a scam, Neopets users very very loudly protest this and vocally express that they are against this decision, which goes completely ignored. More details pop up and the whole thing starts to look really suspicious: The NFTs are going to be produced and managed via a third party company that just popped up about a month ago. They are affiliated with Neopets’ parent company in nebulous ways that suggest money laundering. They run an official Neopets Metaverse Discord where the word “gay” is autobanned by a bot but the word “faggot” gets thrown around (as well as alleged racism and transphobia going unmoderated). When people in the server complain about this one of the mods starts spewing insane NFTbro accusations that the people complaining are just trying to spread anti-NFT propaganda or something. Later, it’s revealed that the NFTs themselves are made using stolen/uncredited assets from a Neopets fan site. This is revealed because they don’t even bother to fix a visual glitch that is unique to that site. They refuse to address this or give credit when it’s pointed out, so they aren‘t just taking assets without acknowledgment but this means they cannot even produce their own damn art for the thing. NFTbros start joining Neopets and hacking/buying old accounts to act like long time players in “support” of NFTs. Actual users start protesting with log-off days, unsubscribing from premium membership, sending anti-NFT art to the art gallery, etc. Sketchy Neopets Metaverse Twitter starts promoing NSFW/18+ NFT projects and posting 4chan-tier NFTbro wojak memes (think “virgin X chad Y” type stuff), totally obliterating the whole “Neopets is a family friendly all-ages game where even writing that your Neopets are married to each other or saying the word cuCUMber can get you banned” thing. Finally, most recently, Neopets Metaverse announces their end goal plans for the Neopets NFT project: An entirely pay-to-play version of the site, where everything you do is powered by cryptocurrency microtransactions. To make matters worse, this announcement reveals that the third party does not know a SINGLE THING about Neopets, and describes “pay to play” features that literally are not a thing on the site, while not mentioning a single aspect of the site that is actually possible. This is alongside the fact that the actual, FREE to play Neopets website is currently almost completely unplayable since they have not converted it since Flash died. This makes it look like Neopets is slowly being switched over to entirely pay-to-play via cryptocurrency microtransactions.

Here are the real kickers:

1. Neopets actually did a cryptocurrency project a few years ago. The project died with a whimper and never saw any end results, leaving a ton of people having sunk their money into something completely worthless.

2. The “NFTs” are literally just randomly generated stock Neopets. With thousands and thousands of pet/color/clothing combinations to choose from, they all inevitably look like absolute shit. You cannot dress them up, change their color or species or outfit, or even name or care for them or pick their gender. And given the nature of NFTs, your “ownership” of them at all is nebulous at best. Functionally, you have significantly more ownership of your Neopet by just making a damn account on the website and creating it there for free, where you have full customization abilities and it is attached directly to your account information.

I like to imagine that in any atla modern au, aang still, for some reason, finds a reason to beat ozai’s ass

Aang: *explaining to someone that he is a pacifist*

Sokka in the background: yeah except for that time in high school when you kicked the shit out of Zuko’s dad

Aang: THOSE WERE EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES PLEASE —

sokka: did it feel good

aang: violence is unproductive, and the antithesis of —

sokka, talking over him: because watching Zuko’s dad get his shit rocked by teen Caillou definitely made ME feel good. and if you do something that makes people happy, doesn’t that mean it’s a good thing?

aang: . . . that’s not how it works but thank you.

Gyatso that night at dinner: I received an interesting call today.

Aang, sweating: oh wow crazy how that happens isn’t it? Technology is amazing

Gyatso: It was from your school. They were calling to tell me that you’ve been assigned after school detention for the next month because you beat up a grown man on campus today. Would you like to tell me your side of the story?

Aang: it was Zuko’s dad and he deserved it

Gyatso, who had a speech about the perils of succumbing to violence prepared but who also knows all about what a dirtbag Ozai is bc of his weekly brunches w Iroh:

an apocalyptic cult prophetically warning that the world won’t end, ever

it’s just going to keep going on like this, groans dismal prophet

posts that hit different in 2021.

discreet is my middle name

I hope I win the grange display

the holy trinity

and the saga continues

This post just doesn’t die so I’m reblogging it for the last time on here

I could’ve sworn I heard something different

one of the things my little brother and i do to each other is announce our presence by yelling HEWWO??? whenever we get home but. this has now caused our dad to also, upon getting home from work, throw the door open and yell. in the daddest voice possible. HEWWO???

You Canned These Worms. Now Lie In It

"Get Out" of IKEA

mike's hard past couple of months

imho phoenix should have been allowed to have his tiddies out just like mia. she was his mentor after all and he looked up to her! anyway in this essay i will-

okay so I didn't have an essay, but I do have this

Lil Nas X did a cover of Jolene and Dolly Parton responded to it on twitter

Image descriptions under the cut

From Dolly’s insta:

I feel like it gets a bit lost, with how readily we meme his songs online, but Lil Nas X really does have a beautiful country singing voice. He might have the best voice for soulful, impassioned, male country vocals since Johnny Cash, and this cover really shows that off.

Story time:

In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew.

Here’s what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes.

What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didn’t want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied.

The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasn’t even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didn’t help. It was a failure of the entire educational system.

So whenever I see crap like Elizabeth Holmes’s blood test scam or pharmaceutical trials which are unable to be replicated or industry-funded research that reaches wildly unscientific conclusions, I just remember those fucking sweet potatoes. I remember that curiosity dies when people are just trying to give their superiors the “right” answers, so they can get the grade, get the job, get the paycheck. It’s not about truth when it’s about paying rent. There’s no scientific integrity if you can’t control for human desperation.

📷 from bonebone29

Venom: Let there be Carnage + letterboxd reviews