my femme girlfriend: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house

me: [throwing on shorts and a tank top] okay baby i love you and you look so pretty

My overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house

My femme girlfriend: [throwing on a sundress and head scarf] okay baby I love you and you look so handsome

Me: [after spending 6 hours on my hair and makeup] Babe I’m ready to head out now

My femme wife: [who has also taken 6 hours] Okay babe I love you I’m ready and your highlight is poppin severely but you need to blend that contour in a little bit

Me: [fixing her eyebrows] I love you

my overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok love im ready to leave the house 

my equally overdressed femme girlfriend: [also hour and a half later] okay baby i love you we’re both so pretty

Me: [10 minutes and a tank top later] ok babe let’s go

My equally lazy butch girlfriend: [also 10 minutes and a tank top later] I love you honey but we gotta stop taking each other’s tank tops

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“Burn the witch! Burn the witch!” shouted the crowd, drowning out the distressed warnings of one person. “No, you fools! She can control the flames!”

acnh - spring

hey. don’t cry. crush three cloves of garlic into a pot with a dollop of olive oil and stir until golden then add one can of crushed tomatoes a bit of balsamic vinegar half a tablespoon of brown sugar half a cup of grated parmesan cheese and stir for a few minutes adding a handful of fresh spinach until wilted and mix in pasta of your choice ok?

King shit

the chokehold this man has on me is RIDICULOUS

might wanna do those calculations again chrissy

LOOK AT THIS ABSOLUTE DILF. THE MATERIAL.

Vintage French postcard, “L’amour de Pierrot,” c. 1905.

OUR INSTAGRAM

This ❤️

FACTS ✨ daily poster right here

–Walt Whitman

ok so

everyone knows about this meme, right?

but does anyone else know the woman who made the food? no? time to educate!

This is “Mother Mary”, the owner of Blackberry’s mother.

She made all the cakes for the restaurant while it was open. Chef Gordon Ramsay tried her red velvet cake, and spoke this meme-able line:

He then called Mary over, complimented her food, and gave her a peck on the cheek.

Look how happy she was to hear that!!!

anyways, I hope she has been able to continue her love for baking since the restaurant closed down.

For these who don’t know: The restaurant she worked at closed down but she left before that and opened her own bakery, that’s apparently very successful!

She has a youtube channel where she shares recipes and cooking advice!

Cutest Hermelin by Walter Sprecher

gravity falls + text post meme (12/?)