Shane Jasper

I’m A Lesbiab

Lesbiam

Less Bien

Girls

it’s okay take ur time

have y’all seen the update? (x)

40,000 years ago, early humans painted hands on the wall of a cave. This morning, my baby cousin began finger painting. All of recorded history happened between these two paintings of human hands. The Nazca Lines and the Mona Lisa. The first TransAtlantic flight and the first voyage to the Moon. Humanity invented the wheel, the telescope, and the nuclear bomb. We eradicated wild poliovirus types 2 and 3. We discovered radio waves, dinosaurs, and the laws of thermodynamics. Freedom Riders crossed the South. Hippies burned their draft cards. Countless genocides, scientific advancements, migrations, and rebellions. More than a hundred billion humans lived and died between these two paintings—one on a sheet of paper, and one on the inside of a cave. At the dawn of time, ancient humans stretched out their hands. And this morning, a child reached back. 

A Timeline of Humanity:

dnd spells that could be mountain goats song titles:

mountain goats song titles that could be dnd spells:

“Omg he’s so quiet”

Me around people I trust:

hey. hey. if you were/are not allowed to express anger in your household. ily

anger is human, anger is part of processing, anger exists on a spectrum from mild frustration/annoyance to full rage and all can be needed as a reaction sometimes, anger is not inherently abusive or harmful, expressing anger (especially if you have anger issues) does not make you shameful or scary, anger does not make your point inherently less valuable, anger is a feeling you should be allowed to express.

anger is okay. and if your anger is hurting you, that's okay too, and you deserve help managing it. this goes double for people who are often stereotyped as angry or scary (black & brown ppl, transfems, ppl with stigmatized disorders, butches and other masc queers, etc). anger is allowed.

one thing about pet owners is they love to insult their pets in ways that their pets are completely incapable of comprehending

cat: [not knowing their owner has made a image of them describing them as a "small odious couch goblin" who "doesnt understand calculus"] this beam of light is so warm

our friend's daughter is at the age where she is extremely chatty and speaking in full sentences, and i love kids' use of language.

apparently all strangers used to be "ladies," but now they are "neighbors." since they speak english exclusively at home, "neighbors" speak german; it was very distressing to hear her mom speak german once, because, in her words, "you're not a doctor or a neighbor!"

When learning how to talk, each one of my 3 sons went through a phase where I was the only person they said "She" for. Obviously, SHE was Mom, and HE was the rest of the world

Three sons, and I was the only female in the household (dog was male too).

i love the idea of a mode of language where the human noun classification system is “one’s own mother” and “everyone else”

btw the biggest lie you will ever be told about being trans is that transitioning will make you ugly. that could not be further from the truth: i never got compliments on my appearance ever, but after i transitioned, began dressing like myself, wore my hair the way i wanted to, and especially started T, i have gotten more compliments than i ever have before in my life. people can tell when you look like yourself, like who you're meant to be. it's beautiful, attractive, and sexy. transition will not make you "ugly". it will make you yourself, and that's inherently beautiful

it’s crazy how much diversity there can be in one species…these are all pictures of the same bird species (red-tailed hawk)

all these birds are like-

ironically, they are all exactly the same amount of Pissed Off

ironically, they

are all exactly the same

amount of Pissed Off

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I think it’s time for us to all collectively return to the library. Get a card, go to a club meeting, volunteer on an off day, rent some equipment. You don’t even have to read a book. But since the digital world is rapidly becoming a subscription-only hellscape requiring a criminal amount of private personal information to use even CASUALLY, the library has become our last safe haven to just exist with information present and not have our labour or information exploited for money.

i did a redraw

1986-1993 Toyota Supra

Men I trust more like men I thrust! #pegging

Patch notes:

Patch notes cont.

Why

New copypasta just dropped

Here it is in easy-to-copy text form!!

I don't think George Washington would have shaved his balls. Blades back then could be very well-sharpened, yes, but it's very hard to keep a blade so sharp when you're off in the middle of a military campaign. And the worst part of ballsack-shaving is probably not accidental scrapes, but a few days after the balls are shaved, in which the coarse ballsack hairs start to grow out. When this happens, the overall sensation is likely prickly, sharp, and uncomfortable, even more so than unshaved balls. And not to mention, George Washington's campaigs were often in colder places, which means he would need all the ballsack hair he could get.

do you all remember in the early 2010s where people were talking about freeing the nipple and that mixed-gender sports should become a thing and the removal of period tax and all of that and then some people realised that would mean trans people too ans they instantly decided to revert to bioessentialism 101 and now i have to see grating sentences like Well maybe jeopardy should be gender-segregated because males have a biological advantage in pressing a button

talking to preschoolers is awesome bc they have not fully differentiated stories into 'true stories' and 'imaginary stories' yet so you will tell them about something that happened you once (coyote came out of a bush right in front of you and got startled) and they will tell you about how one time their house was full of coyotes in every room 'including five in the garage' and they're not even like, aware i think of the idea that they are technically 'lying'. they are simply telling stories about coyotes bc its time to tell stories about coyotes.

out of all the couples in greek mythology i UNDERSTAND why persephone and hades were the ones that were taken out of their original context to be made into a cute pair by popculture (and i dont really have an issue w this bc its sooo far removed from the actual canon) BUT.... some real untapped potential with hephaestus and aphrodite in different contexts. worlds hottest woman (barring helen) going to bat for her husband that everyone else thinks is butt ass ugly, but shes like im literally the ceo of hotness and i think hes sexy so either get over it or die idc

Heph-dog invents condoms and IUDs for her so he doesn’t keep getting step-children he has to make armor and weapons for. They collaborated on bdsm as a concept.