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One Day I Too Will Challenge God

@onedayitoowillchallengegod

Nightwing: You know, when you said you had convinced Red Robin to go to therapy this is not what I thought you meant.
Nightwing & Red Hood: *stare at the recently exploded warehouse that is still very much on fire*
Red Hood, shrugging: Harley’s a great therapist.
Nightwing: She’s had her license revoked four different times. She hasn’t even HAD a license that many times.
Red Hood: Well, at least it works.
Nightwing: Still not what I had in mind.
Red Hood: Yeah, that’s kinda on you.
Nightwing, nodding: That’s on me.
Red Robin: *cackles in the distance*
Red Hood: *gives him a thumbs up*
Damian: I too would like to attend this ‘therapy.’
Bruce, 3 seconds after getting back from a week long JL mission and not yet knowing anything about this but thinking that maybe one of his kids actually wants to go to therapy without his begging or them trying to guilt trip him into going also: Of course! That’s great!
Damian, watching Bruce’s enthusiasm with judgment but still nodding: I’ll speak with Todd.
Bruce:
Bruce: You know what, why don’t you tell me great detail about this entire idea; I’d love to know everything. Preferably now.
Tim, walking by and smelling of smoke: *gives Bruce a grin and a side hug and continues walking while beginning to whistle*
Bruce:
Damian: Todd sent Drake to therapy.
Bruce, internally: If I question this will it stop working?
Bruce: Therapy is a great idea.
Bruce, internally: Nailed it.

Later

Batman, watching a few thousand chickens running amok around the recently structurally damaged chicken farm that doubled as a meth lab: *sighs*
Batman: That one’s on me.
Nightwing: *pats him sympathetically on the back*
Red Robin:
Nightwing:
Red Robin:
Nightwing:
Red Robin: You might like it.
Nightwing:
Nightwing: Fine. Robin? I need a sword.
Robin: *pulls out two swords and a dozen knives*
Robin: Which one would you like?

Later

Harley: Do you want Joker or Two Face?
Nightwing: Both?
Harley: Sure thing, honey.
Nightwing: *begins stabbing life size effigies of the rogues*

Later

Bruce: That one wasn’t so bad.
Nightwing: Want to give it a try?
Batman: Hn.

Later

Red Hood: Wow, what crawled up in your cowl and died, B?
Batman:
Batman: Therapy.
Red Hood: Come again?
Batman: I just got done with therapy.
Red Hood: Oh, what’d you guys do?
Batman: We talked. For four hours.
Red Hood, trying to contain his laughter: What, did you want to cause explosions too?
Batman, shifting uncomfortably to one side:
Red Hood: Hey, I’m happy to help you achieve your dreams there, but therapy is still good, right? What’d Harley say?
Batman:
Batman:
Batman:
Batman: *grapples away*

Later

Jason: Pay up, losers.
Steph and Babs: *each hand over a stack of favor coupons*
Babs: Honestly I’m too impressed to be upset.
Steph: I can’t believe you got Bruce to go to therapy.
Jason: AND-
Steph: Yes, yes, and the other robins.
Jason: *grinning*
Steph: No.
Jason: *grinning wider*
Steph: You’re not getting me to-
Jason: How was girls’ night with Harley yesterday?
Steph:
Steph: Dang, you’re good.
Red Hood, smugly: Yeah, I’m good. Five for five right now.
Harley: And how does that affect how you’re feeling about yourself?
Red Hood: I-
Red Hood:
Red Hood: I walked right into that one, didn’t I.
Harley: You’re doing great, sweetie.
Random Villain Hopeful: I can go, if that’s-
Red Hood: *pulls out gun*
Red Hood: Absolutely not.
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and then there is a thank you note and cookies from Alfred in Harley's apartment :)

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Anonymous asked:

(yourlocalcorviddad) I saw your ask talking about the ships in dpxdc being mostly Danny with guys and while I agree it's the misogyny, I think you the-decent fans at least-they may be like me, I like Cass with Sam tbh, and others may like stuff similarly?

I like Cass with Sam too! They have such a great dynamic. Cass kind of treats Society as something to study under a microscope, paying attention to small details and finding reasons for behavior. While Sam views Society with a macroscope, finding large collectives and enacting change in them. Watching the two interact is wonderful.

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can’t get over when famous gangster lucky luciano was like “hey lansky seems like quite a hassle getting all those nazis offa your terf you want us to help ya out” and meyer “Left Russia Because of Pogroms and Became A Gangster In The US” lansky was like “no. no getting to beat the shit out of nazis is reward enough for us. sorry lucky this one’s personal don’t worry about it”

here’s a quote from a New York Times article abt it

also bonus quote from that article

“quick question about the punching, judge perlman: how about murder instead”

everybody says that “the government” enlisted these mobsters to beat up nazis, but like. no. no that didn’t happen? judge nathan perlman illegally called up a man who could have him shot dead at a minute to say “hey. i’ve scoured the fucking law books tryna find a way to get these fucking nazis out of here, but my legal means have unfortunately run out. so-” and meyer fucking lansky was like “ah say no more boss lemme call a buncha friends and we’ll get this sorted out real quick don’t even bother paying me.“

can you imagine that phone call. like genuinely. how am i supposed to continue living my normal life knowing this happened. people who loooove talking about punching nazis, taKE FUCKING NOTES

This is why I dislike looking back on the past as if everything has been constantly improving to get us to where we are now

Our cement isn't as strong as the Romans, our steel isn't as strong as Damascus steel, we cannot replicate the beauty of a Stradivari violin, we've already lost some of the technology that flew Apollo and Gemini to space

And when I live out a suitcase I have to sift through a pile of stuff like a neanderthal

See the chap with glasses and an incredible moustache in the bottom right? that's Magnus Hirschfeld, the gay Jewish doctor who ran the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft (Institute for Sexual Research) in Berlin. It was largely his books, his research that the Nazis burned.

Everyone else in this photo is a trans person that Dr Hirschfeld worked with. This photo was taken at their christmas party.

Also while we’re here I want everyone to appreciate that This

This wild, wonderful, beautifully animated and heartfelt queer story started here

Here, on tumblr, by an art student who’s wrestling with his identity, mental health, and religious trauma

Tell your stories, kids, you never know how many people will thank you for it

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They are not as high-profile as the WGA, but I would like to bring everyone's attention to the imminent strike action by thousands of hotel workers in Los Angeles. They are set to go on strike tomorrow, July 1st, 2023.

More than 15,000 hotel workers are seeking higher pay, better benefits, and working conditions. This includes an across-the-board $5 an hour raise, as well as affordable healthcare and better pensions. They also are seeking a ban on the use of E-Verify, which is used to deny employment to undocumented workers and workers involved with the criminal justice system. You can follow what is happening at their Twitter.

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The Batfam dressing up for Halloween. Bruce lets them, under the condition that they still wear enough of their uniforms that people are able to recognize them

Nightwing- He owns a sexy maid outfit for this night only. Nobody believes he only wears it one night a year. Despite the fact that he does

Red Hood- His old Robin costume. Complete with cobwebs and smudges of dirt to make it look like he's a ghost. Yes, he's breaking Batman's rule, but he doesn't care

Orphan and Spoiler- They switch uniforms. The bright purple, snarky hero being silent and able to appear out of nowhere is almost as terrifying as the normally silent shadow speaking and giggling

Red Robin- He wanders Gotham covered in blood. Everyone preys it's fake blood. No one's had the guts to ask

Signal- He has a collection of slasher flick masks. He likes to go through the batcave and pick out weapons to match each mask

Robin- He doesn't want to dress up. At all. Dick convinces him to at least wear cat ears

Batman- He put large googly eyes over the lenses on his mask. The people he busts that night have never been more scared in their lives

I know I've been over this but man HRT is good stuff. I wanna shake the hand of whoever invented it. It's a crime that I don't know who that is actually. They're more important than Einstein

id also been really curious about the history of hrt so i had some tabs open:

The first hrt treatments were mostly estrogen extracted during pregnancies to be used for menopause symptoms, but the first usage of those medicines for trans women is credited to the world's first Trans Clinic, opened in pre-WW2 Germany by Magnus Hirschfield, a gay jewish man.

Oh he looks delightful

Thank you grandpa

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The comparasion to Einstein was actually made at the time too! He was commonly refered to as “the Einstein of sex”, to which he supposedly once replied that he would rather Einstein be called “the Hirschfeld of physics” lmao

Oh my god

Part 6 Who Hurt My Baby? Dcxdp

Part 5 ..... Part 7

Harley sent her baby to live with the Fentons. She didn't find out something has gone wrong until Jazz came to Harley with Danny in her arms bleeding green. Harley saw red and is preparing to fight who ever did this, whether it is the government or her own sister. When red hood feels pulled to Harley's place he doesn't understand the trilling coming from the pit where he expects rage. Above all who is baby?

.....................................

“So I gotta few questions for everyone at the table," Harley said, “I’d rather go on an informed warpath. I need a real answer. So Jason, Danny baby, how did you die?” 

Both young men straightened in their seats. Harley saw Jason scratch at his chest while Danny made a fist. Both grimaced. 

And the air suddenly felt echoey. Memories of heat and electricity pulsed through the air. She could swear she heard the Joker's laugh as a crowbar made a sickening thud. Then heat flared to the beat of an ominous ticking. 

At the same time, a buzzing cool sensation ran her hair to standing as something that smelled like flash fried flesh and a freezer burn smell filled her nose. Screaming echoed as someone called Danny’s name to a background of swirling green.

Both boys cringed inward on their chests. 

“Aunty Harley. You don’t ask a ghost about their death. Its not safe,” Jazzy said. She filled a cup with water and tossed it at the boys. As the cool water splashed across them Danny flinched and Hood stumbled off his stool into a boxing stance. 

Harley’s heart ached. She wasn’t sure what every moment of that had meant but she had a couple educated guesses. After all, she knew what her sister was trying. Jazz had sent her a picture of the ghost portal. That strange green swirl was all too familiar.

“Bat hood,” she said.

“Red hood,” he corrected.

“Hoodless right now,” she said. 

He bared his teeth. She glanced at the white streak in his hair and remembered the sound of the crowbar. The heat of an explosion. Mr. Jay hadn’t brought her in when he had killed the second Robin. But he had told her about it in gory detail the next time he came back. He had crowed at taking something from the Bat, like a life was a toy. Like a child was a tool.

How had she ever thought they were in love? How had she ever thought he was just misunderstood? 

“Hoodie, Brucie and I keep our lives separate. But I figured out what my old college buddy does at night.”

His shoulders hunched inward.

“If you want, we can come to a similar arrangement. But if you ever need someone to smack him upside the head for leaving you in Mr. J’s hands, I’d do it in a heart beat.”

The young man’s eyes widened under the domino mask. She had to figure out how they did that. 

“I… thank you. I’m not exactly talking to the old man. He saved him. I gave him the chance to take out him or me.”

“You can’t kill Mr.J,” Harley said. 

The second Robin puffed out his shoulders. “I am perfectly capable of killing, Harleen.”

“Please, only my patients call me Harleen, Jason.”

He stilled. Harley grinned. “Hmm, breakfast first. Let's get you all fed up before you get fed up of bein’ here.” 

Pammy took her Ham and eggs into the front room. Harley got Jason, Danny and Jazzy to sit at the big round poker table she had stolen for her dining nook. Danny ate barely slower than he had the night before. Jason poked at the eggs like they might be poisoned. Jazzy made similar motions over the ham. 

“Its all eatable,” Harley said through a mouthful.

Danny watched Jason eat intermittently. “Jazz hand me the thermos.”

Jazzy rolled her eyes. “That is the emergency stash, Danny.”

“I can get more. He’s starving. Look at him. Probably hasn’t had a proper drink in ages. I can smell how… I don't know, it's like he’s dehydrated.”

“I drink plenty of liquids.” Jason deadpanned. 

Danny lunged at Jazz. The two struggled over a large white thermos. Jazz held it up above Danny’s reach. 

“Jazz.”

“What if you get hurt Danny?”

“Jason is hurting now.”

Jason grunted. Harley watched the edges of his mask light green. Laughter burbled up again. And the crime lord collapsed into a fit of giggles. 

“See, he’s delirious,” Danny said, “ Aunt Harley, how close was he when the containment wave went off?”

“I found him sprawled on the front steps." Harley said. She suppressed a wave of sadness. She didn’t know he was closer related to her than a nephew.

Danny gestured in her direction his eyes never leaving the thermos. “See? He was way too close. He might have cracked his core. He is baby.”

“I’m baby?” Jason wheezed. 

Harley grinned. She should be recording this. She took her phone out. But rather than flick the camera on she saw a barage of texts from an unknown number. Her eyes narrowed. 

"Auntie, what's wrong?" 

Harley met her niece's eyes. She put the phone away with a shake of her head. 

"I have a bird to see. Danny baby. I take it your parents ah'n't gonna be in the loop you're here?"

Danny looked down at his shoes. 

Jazz frowned. "Their communications are being tracked. Its not safe for them or us."

Harley tilted her head. "Oh I wasn't plannin' on communicating sweetie. But once we get this figured out my sister's gonna pay for what she made my baby go through."

Jason's laughter quieted at that. Danny looked at Jazz then at Harley, his expression puzzled. Harley watched the gears turn in Jazz's head. Her eyes widened. 

Jazz's eyes flickered to meet Danny's gaze and back to Harley. 

Harley put her bat over her shoulder and rubbed her chin.

"Did Maddie never give youse the talk?"

Danny flinched. "Ancients, let's not repeat that."

"Not the birds and the bees. The adoption talk."

Danny turned to Jasmine, his jaw slack. "Jazz, are you adopted?"

Harley grinned down as her niece pinched the bridge of her nose. Harley rested her elbows so her arms hung over the baseball bat.  

"I'm a take that as a no?"

"Ancients, why didn't I put that together. I have an interest in psychology. In a family of mad scientist engineers obsessed with ghosts…  how didn't I see the signs?" Jazz said. 

"Hey now…" Harley tried to interrupt but the flow of words didn't stop.

"You're not even a natural blonde! Your emails say so. Are you a redhead aunt Harley? Is that where I got it?" Jazz ran her fingers through her long red hair. Harley noticed Jason watching the girl with rapt attention. Harley grinned sadly.

"That's why I have a better handle on things. I'm not related to them! Oh my word. You aren't Aunt Harley. You're my mom!" 

"Jazzy, its not that simple. I'm…" Harley couldn't bring herself to say it. Not with those hopeful tears glimmering in the girl's eyes. 

Jazz stood leaving the thermos on the table. She practically leaped across the table. Harley barely had time to flinch before the girl had wrapped herself around her crying. 

"You kept in touch with me all these years. I should have told you how bad it was years ago. I'm so sorry, Mom." 

Harley gripped her niece fiercely. She looked over at her son. Danny smiled up at the ceiling. But his eyes had gone glassy. 

"At least one of us is safe here."

Jason put a hand on her kid's arm as he sat there disassociating. 

"It'll be ok. I'll keep you safe." 

Danny looked over with wide eyes. 

"But you're baby. I'm protecting you." Then Danny got a sly grin. He snatched the thermos off the table where Jazz had left it. "And baby needs his medicine."

Danny and Jason tussled for a minute while Jazz held Harley with a grip that reminded the ex-villain of Jack, Maddie's husband.  Harley sighed as Danny shoved Jason onto the ground and popped the thermos lid. 

"Open wide, kid."

"Get off me you menace," Hood growled. It just wasn't the same without the voice modulator. 

Danny chuckled. He yanked Jason into a sitting position. The thermos met Jason's mouth. 

"Don't make me phase this through your lips."

"Don't you dare," Jason said through clenched teeth. Green sloshed into his mouth. Jason's entire demeanor changed. His shoulders went slack. The white eyes of the domino widened. His hands went to the thermos. He tried to tilt the whole thing into his mouth. Danny's thin hand held firm. 

Danny kept the flow of green even as he tipped every drop of what looked like ectoplasm into Jason's mouth. When the green was gone. Danny gave a little smirk. 

"Yeah, hate to say it, but I understand Vlad a bit better now. Jason, you are officially ghost adopted."

…………………………………………….

Thank you all for your support! I'm glad so many people are enjoying this, here and on Ao3.

Part 5 ..... Part 7

Part 5 Who Hurt My Baby

Harley sent her baby to live with the Fenton's. When Jazz shows up with Danny bleeding green in her arms Harley is ready to go on a warpath. Now to force the bats hand so the law can help instead of hurt her baby.

..............................................

The couch was surprising comfortable. Jason slept and for once he had no nightmares. 

The morning brought him a stranger sight. 

A kid that had Wayne adoption bait written all over him was eating cereal at the counter. An Amazon with red hair munched on her own bowl of cereal across from the teen. Jason rose groggily. Ugh, he had slept with his helmet on. He made it to his feet only to stumble. 

Before he could catch himself the teen had ducked under his arm. How had he gotten there that fast?

“Easy Kid,” the black-haired blue-eyed teen said to Jason. 

“Your just a teenager.” 

“And your core is underdeveloped. Come eat.”

“Core?” 

The kid didn’t answer as he led Jason to the table. The kid settled him down like Jason was the fragile looking one. Jason could probably wrap his thumb and pinkie around this kid’s wrist and have space for him to slip out. 

“You’re one to try and feed me. You look like you haven’t had a decent meal in years.”

The red haired Amazon flinched. 

The teen tried to force feed him cereal. The spoon came through the helmet like there was nothing there. Jason gagged. 

“Eww, you were just eating that.”

“Healing takes Calories, kid. I would know.”

“My name is Jason.” Shit. He was in costume. Why was it so easy to talk to this kid? “I mean…”

“Great, I’m Danny. Take your helmet off or so help me I will phase it off your head.” The teenager said. Danny looked serious. 

Jason narrowed his eyes. “You can’t take it off without my wanting it off. I’ve got it lined with explosives that would take out this entire apartment if you tired.”

The amazon snorted. Her teal eyes flicker to him. “That’s twisted.”

“Didn’t catch your name,” Jason said. 

“Hmm, maybe ‘cause I didn’t say it. Danny, we should wait for Auntie Harley before we badger her guest.”

“Aunty, Harley has family in town?” Jason said. There was a strange whispering sensation. He watches the edge of his helmet pass through his eyeball. 

“I’ll just get rid of this.” Danny said. The helmet started to beep. 

Jason reached for the helmet, maybe to turn it off. But before he could, the teen, Danny, reached into the air. And it openned. A lazarus water pool tore into being where Danny’s fingers passed. The teenager tossed the helmet into the breach and let the hole in the air snap closed. 

“What the hell was that?” Jason said. 

“Oh, you’re precious. Reminds me of the first time I died,” Danny said. He wiped away a nonexistent tear. 

The woman sighed. “Danny, we are trying to keep a low profile. No powers, remember?”

Danny slumped onto the kitchen island as all the humour left his body. 

“I know. Do you think Tucker and Sam made it here?”

The woman nodded. “Sam is dragging him to some gala. They’ll be in town soon.” She looked up. 

Jason felt of those teal eyes on him. The weight grew the longer she stared. She could be actively dissecting him and he would be less uncomfortable. 

Harley chose that moment to burst in. The front door slammed open. Plastic grocery bags hung from Harley’s bat, one contained a bag of cash. 

“Good, you’re all up. I got sum questions for all youse.”

Ivy walked down the stairs with a yawn riding a row of vines down the banister. 

“Woah,” Danny said, “I wasn’t hallucinating. You’re not another overgrowth avatar, right? I mean Sam’ll be thrilled either way but…I’d rather not fight Aunt Harley’s girlfriend.”

“Wife,” Ivy corrected. She yawned. “No, I don’t know who Overgrowth is. Is there any ham left?”

“Woah,” Danny stood. “Aren’t all love the earth plant power types vegetarians?”

Ivy’s face wrinkled into a half snarl. “Don’t be ridiculous. Some of my best friends are plants. I’m meatatarian.” She pulled what looked like an entire rotisserie chicken from the fridge and put it in the microwave.

Danny plopped down into his seat. “Huh.”

Jason tried not to laugh. He really did. It burbled up from the pit. He was so used to fighting pit rage he didn’t have the tools to fight the glee that cakled out of him. He sank into his arms his shoulders heaving as he laughed so hard tears ran down his cheeks.

“Geez kid, it wasn’t that funny,” Danny said. And Jason laughed harder. 

“Jazz, I’m adopting him,” Danny said.

“That is a grown man,” the red haired amazon said. Jason looked up with tears of laughter staining his cheeks. 

“Sorry, already been adopted. Rather not do it again,” Jason said. 

Harley finished shoving groceries in cupboards and money under the sink. She bounced over to take a stool. She leaned her elbows on the kitchen island. The glee dissipated as the wild eyes of Harley joined the teal Eyes of Jazz in dissecting him.

“So I gotta few questions for everyone at the table," Harley said, “I’d rather go on an informed warpath. I need a real answer. So Jason, Danny baby, how did you die?” 

.................................

Part 4 Who Hurt My Baby? DCxDP

Escalating Implications

.................................

Jason’s head pounded. His chest ached. Something felt like it was calling him upstairs, and Harley Quinn was asking his about his death. Could the day get worse? Well, he had been in Gotham long enough to know not to ask that question out loud.

“What do you mean?”

Harley pressed her lips together. “I think you know what dying means. So be honest with me. How long has it been since ya died?”

Jason let his helmet set back on the ground. Ivy moved off somewhere.

“It was a long time ago, and I’m not dead now. That’s all that matters.”

Harley clicked her tongue several times shaking her head. “Not if ya still got ecto in ya. And here I just thought your illegal activities were for crimes. You ever had guys in white suits approachya? Maybe start shooting?”

Jason was about to say no. But he paused. “White suits with Jetpacks?”

Harley swore. “They're already in Gotham?”

“Their kooks. They’re from some ghost hunting tv show.” His head was clearing up. Was it because the little disk was being taken away? But his chest still felt he was being pulled upstairs.

“You have a kid upstairs?” He said. He blinked trying to clear his head the rest of the way.

“Yeah. Under my protection though. You’re going on the couch until we figure out what to do.”

Jason wanted to argue. But Ivy had already switched out the cushions with a new set. The vines were cleaning the green from off the wall. He wobbled to his feet.

“Fine. I want to talk to the kid in the morning. Figure out why I can feel…” He rubbed his chest. He stumbled over to the couch. He half fell onto the cushions. The room still had a strange freezer burned smell to it. But he drifted to sleep as the pit settled into a strange humming.

………………………………………………………………..

 

Tim barely understood what he was looking at. He had poked and prodded, unscrewed and dissassembled. He had documented every component, but it still made no sense. The components were familiar and strange. All the components were built from silver rather that gold or copper. And the disk that had shocked Jason didn’t seem to be built to run on electricity.

It ran off kryptonite.

Tim clutched his head. The radiation traces were clear. The tiny specs of green in the wiring were obvious. This device sent pulses of kryptonite radiation to contain…something. Then the reaction would interact negatively causing a feed back loop. Tim stared at his shaking hands. He lifted one to his comm.

“B, this is bad. Its not an EMP.”

“Report Red Robin.”

“This…its a micro nuke.”

The line exploded with chatter as everyone in the field responded.

“Everyone shut up or I will mute you,“ Barbara said, “RR can you elaborate?”

“This isn’t built to deal with electricity. It appears to cause a recurring feedback loop if Kryptonite is place in the center of the disk. It looks like something meant to take down Superman.”

“Harley mentioned that the anti-ecto acts that built these and authorise their use were signed into being while Luthor was president,” Batman said.

“I’m calling Connor,” Tim said.

“I’ll inform the Justice League,” Batman said, “I am upping the priority for reviewing the acts and their implications.”

“I have already reviewed them Father,” said Damian’s voice.

Tim paused his existential crisis for a moment to roll his eyes. Of course he had.

“Report Robin,” Batman said.

“It seems to me to go directly contrary to the Meta acts. Any being considered ecto-contaminated is also considered non-sentient and to be handed over for vivisection.”

The line exploded again.

Tim turned off the comm. He held his head in his hands Even with emergency powers how did Luthor get away with this? He turned to look at the micro nuke. The deconstructed white disk with the hole in the middle looked like it could hold an extra large marble and not much more.

He sighed.

Time to switch gears. Tim went upstairs to brew some coffee. It was going to be a long night.

...............................

Part 3 Who Hurt My Baby?

This is a Danny Phantom fic where Harley sent her Baby to live with her sister Maddie Fenton. She only finds out something has gone wrong when Jazz shows up with Danny bleeding in her arms.

...............................

Harley dragged Stupid Hood onto his side. She wasn’t a medical doctor but she didn’t want him to choke on his own spit. She sighed. Bats would come now one way or another.

 

She poked at Hood with her bat. He started to stir.

 

“Ivy, could ya tie him up?”

 

Pam rolled her eyes but vines danced around the young man’s limbs securing him in place. 

 

“If he didn’t have a concussion before, he does now,” Harley said. She tilted her head at the crime lord who sometimes played hero. “Where does Bats keep finding these kids?” 

 

There was the distinct whizing sound of someone with a grappling hook out side. Soft feet landed on the porch. Had the Bat gotten here that fast?

 Someone crashed through the window. 

 

Harley sighed as the red and green outfitted red robin rolled to his feet in the front room. 

 

“Do ya hafta break my stuff?” Harley said. “I just got that window replaced.”

 

Red Robin looked at her. His eyes dropped to where red hood was tied up by vines and his head flickered to Ivy in the corner and back to her. 

 

“What did you do to him? Where’s the bomb?”

 

“Its been disassembled.” Harley said she stood. She rubbed her chin as she went closer to Red Robin, yummm. She shook her head. Focus Harls.

 

“Hey, ainchya the tech bird?” 

 

Red Robin hesitated. “Why?”

 

Harley took the white disk out of her pocket. “‘Cause I got somethin’ the bat needs to look at.” she held it up between two fingers. 

 

“What is it exactly?” Red Robin said. 

 

Red Hood tried to flip over. 

 

“Some kinda explosive thing. It tore up a kid real bad. Pam got it out. But it had a boom that caused that.” Harley gestured to the splatters of green on her couch and walls. Red Robin stared. 

 

He nodded. “You could say I’m the tech bird. Are you asking for help with the EMP that kept pulsing?” 

 

Red Hood struggled in the bonds of vines. 

 

“Pammy, let bat hood speak.” 

 

Ivy let the vines move from the speakers on the red hood the young man wore. 

“Its Red Hood,” even through the modulator he sounded irked. Harley grinned. 

 

“What’s your commentary that made ya wiggle?” Harley said. She let the white ring roll over her fingers like a quarter. The empty center was a little bigger than a marble. She probably coulda put the ring over her thumb but she wasn’t sure what it did still besides trap the poor ghost doggie. 

 

“Thats not what’s pulling me here,” Hood said, “What do you have upstairs?” 

 

Harley snarled. “Don’t you mind what isn’t your business.”

 

Another voice joined the fray. “Gotham is my business.”

 

Batman stood in the broken window frame. 

 

“Finally. I thought you were gonna take all night Batsy!” Harley said, “We gotta take down a government branch.”

 

The whites of the the cowl that bypassed for eyes narrowed. Harley wished she knew how that worked. “I don’t work against the law, Harleen. You know that.”

 

“Uh, helping with the meta acts says otherwise Bats. And Luthor made a loophole.”

 

“Hm.” 

 

Harley giggled. There was no humor in the smile she gave the Bat. “A kid just had a murder attempt on him that’s lawful ‘cause he don’t count.”

 

The Bat just stared. 

 

“Search up the anti-ecto acts batty boi. And we’ll hang onto Hood while your little bird takes a look at this.” Harley tossed the white ring at Red Robin. He put out a hand to catch it. 

 

Bat man smacked the white ring down. It bounced on the floor and landed on Hood’s arm. 

 

Hood screamed. Harley stared. It hadn’t hurt her. Green sparks started along the edge of the white ring. Hood curled in on himself. 

 

Harley snatched the ring off the batty crime lord. She stared at Bats. 

 

“Why in the living nightmares is this kid reacting to anti-ghost tech?” she asked. 

 

“Ghost tech?” Batman said. Was there a hint of pain in that voice? Boy, if she still had her psychology liscence… then she probably wouldn’t a' become a villain… maybe. 

 

She stepped over Hood and held the ring out to Red Robin. “You haven’t died or anything, right?”

 

She saw The Bat’s shoulders stiffen subtley.

 

“Uh, not that I know of.” Red Robin took the white ring carefully. It didn’t spark or anything. 

Harley let out a sigh.

 

“Good. I wanna know how it does what it does and you're the smartest bird from what I hear. Don’t use it near dead guys, a'right?”

 

“Sure.” Red Robin looked at Batman.

 

Batman loomed. He moved toward Harley where she stood between him and Hood.

 

“You have explaining to do Quinn.”

 

“Ah, no, you have research to do, Batsy. Anti-Ecto Acts. I’ll be happy to talk to ya after we’re on the same page.”

 

“I’m taking Hood.”

 

Hood stirred.  “I am not going back to the cave if that nasty thing is gonna be there.” He used his chin to point at Red Robin. Or the white disk. Harley couldn’t tell which.

 

“You heard the kid. No Batcave for Bat Hood.”

 

“Red hood,” Red Robin and Hood said at the same time.

 

Harley shrugged. 

 

“There’s something upstairs,” Hood said. 

 

Red Robin and Batman exchanged a look. Harley readied her bat. She sunk into a home-run ready squat. 

 

“And I will defend it with my life until we are on same ecto page, capiche?”

 

Red Robin tugged on Batman’s cape. “She said a kid got hurt,” he said quietly. 

 

Batman just watched Harley for a moment. “We will be back. For Hood and the child you are protecting.”

 

 Harley narrowed her eyes. “As long as they ain’t in harms way I might agree.”

 

The Bat and the Bird slipped out the window they had broken. Ivy let out an unhappy sound and went down to look for the stack of replacement glass. 

 

Harley crouched next ta Hood balancing her bat with one hand. He looked back up at her.

 

“So Hood, when didya die?”

....................

Part 2 Who Hurt My Baby

This is a Danny Phantom fic where Harley sent her Baby to live with her sister Maddie Fenton. She only finds out something has gone wrong when Jazz shows up with Danny bleeding in her arms.

..........................

 Earlier that night

 

Jason felt a pulse blast through him. It was like a quiet earthquake shook his entire being and tried to unmoor him. He thought maybe he had imagined it. But it happened again fifteen minutes later. It rocked him enough that he stumbled to the side. 

 

“Hood, what was that?” His comm burbled with Barbara’s modulated voice.

 

“What was what?” Jason said.

 

“The comms just exploded with static. Are you disarming an EMP or something?”

 

Well at least he knew he wasn’t imagining it. 

 

“Don’t know Oracle. Just felt it. Can you track it?”

“Maybe. Seems like alot of cameras went down by Tim earlier. I’ll check if whatever cams are left in crime alley are having the same effect.”

 

“Find the center. I have a bad feeling its gonna go off again.” Jason closed his eyes. Had there been a direction the blast had come from. He sorted through the memory of static. “I think its somewhere West of me?”

 

“Damn it," barbra swore, "this better not be a new Arkham escape attempt.” 

 

Jason started running. He leaped on his bike. Ten minutes of driving on sidewalks when he needed to with the souped up bike got him half way from crime alley to the psych prison. They could call it asylum all they wanted. It was a prison. A block from the bridge to Arkham he felt the wave building. He shut down the motor cycle and braced for impact. 

 

The wave of static definitely had a direction this time. It pounded through him. Unsettling something in the core of his being. He turned to face the blast head on. It almost brought him to his knees. 

 

When it had passd his vision was green. He braced for the rage that usually rose with the pit awakening. But instead a burbling panic, a need to run. Wobbled in his chest. 

 

“Oracle, you there?”

 

“Yeah, it hit again didn’t it?”

 

“Its not coming from Arkham.”

 

“I thought you said it was west?”

“Its coming from somewhere by the park. I’m in route now.”

 

Jason shifted and the burbling in his chest felt like the pit was whimpering. He got his bike and headed straight for the static burst. 

 

Aprapo park was green for the time of year. But he knew Ivy had set up near by so that was to be expected. He hoped he didn’t run into her. But an emp bomb didn’t seem her style. He drove into the park on his motor bike, probably illegal but he needed to find the thing before it went off again. He had a feeling the bomb had been moving. Maybe it was being driven away even now. But somehow he didn’t think so. His chest thrummed. And he stopped the bike. 

 

There was a small blue car still idling in front. The inside was coated with a kryptonite green liquid. Fresh green steps went into the house with a door messily painted red and blue

 

Green filled his vision and in his chest he felt a tug from the town house next to him. 

 

“Oh shi-” the static from before was nothing. This was fire and agony. This was the explosion that had killed him all over again. This was the crow bar beating his skull in. This was waking up in an airless grave and falling into the lazarus pits choking and burning as it sizzled its way into his flesh.

 

Jason came to on all fours. Barbara’s voice in his ear had a tinny quality. It took him a second to register she was calling for him.

 

“Hood, What’s happening. Damn it. Red Robin, get over there. He’s by Aprapo Park but he’s not responding. The cameras all went down.”

 

“On it O.” Tim’s voice. He was coming over then. 

 

Jason’s arms were shaking. He felt like he had just been run over by a truck. His legs took a minute to respond. When he finally wobbled to his feet he stumbled to the red and blue door. Harley’s door. It had to be. What was she doing in there. In her own house?

 

He looked back at the car. The mysterious green substance, was it kryptonite green, or pit water green? He slammed his hand on the door. No one answered.

 

He tried to lift his leg to kick. But he lost his balance. Something inside him was off center. He hit the steps with a sharp zing. He just laid back the rest of the way. Hopefully he hadn’t broken something. What in the hell was going on here. Jason flicked his eyes to the top of his domino mask’s read out for the time as he sprawled on the stairs. 

 

So of course that was when Harley slammed the door open. 

 

She blinked down at him for a moment. WIth a feral grin Harley put her bat to her shoulder. She jumped to the stair his head rested on, pirroetted and crouched. 

 

“Good, you got one of them comms to the Bat dontchya?”

 “Wha’ the hell are you doin’ with a bomb in y’re house Harley.” Weird, he hadn’t meant to slur his words.

 

“Wah-oh,” Harley said. She poked him. “Where’d ya get the concussion bat hood?”

 

“Red hood,” he corrected her. 

 

“Well I need the bat. If you aren’t good for that I’ll need ta use ya as a hostage for a minute, kay?”

 

This might as well be happening. Jason tried to push him self up. If he had to fight… he wobbled and almost hit his head on the steps. Harley grabbed the back of his leather coat before he could drop. 

 

“Don’t look wise ta test helmet strength on my stairs bat hood.”

 

“Red hood.” 

 

“Hood are you responsive?” Tim’s voice buzzed in his ear. 

 

Harley helped Jason to his feet. He put a hand to his head. 

 

“Harley wantssss to talk t’ the Bat.” He slurred.

 

“Uh, are you drunk?” Tim said.

 

“Shu’ up replacemen’. I got caught in the blast.”

 

Oracle’s voice came through clearer than Tim’s. “Holy crap, are you ok? Are you bleeding anywhere?”

 

Jason looked down at himself as Harley dragged him inside. 

 

“‘M good, shaken not stirred,” he said. 

 

Inside he saw another blast of green like the one that covered the inside of the car outside. At the center of the blast was a human shaped clean space on the couch. Ivy was cleaning up the green. Maybe a plant experiment then?

 

“Ivy, wha’ did you do t’ make that explosion?” he said, “was it a plant bomb?”

 

Ivy turned eyes wide with anger. “I would never sacrifice my babies for a bomb, Hood.”

 

Jason squinted. Something still pulled at that wobbly spot in his chest. 

 

“Its… its upstairs.” he rubbed at his chest. 

 

Ivy raised an eyebrow. “What is?”

 

Jason turned toward the pull. “Calling me…” Harley’s bat smacked him in the back of the helmet. He should have seen that coming.  Jason collapsed as the world went dark.

.......................

This is part 1 of Who Hurt My Baby?

Ok, started a fic based on this post where Harley is Danny's bio mom and where Danny and Jazz run when the GIW up thier game.

Enjoy!

Harleen Quinzel still sent her little boy birthday cards. She wasn't sure she liked that her sister had decided to live in a lab with basically no safety procedures but Amity Park Illinois was a far cry from Gotham in terms of danger so she had been happy that her baby was safe with Maddie and her himbo of a ghost hunting husband Jack.

She had been a part of his early life. She had had him too young and Maddie already had her doctorate. So Harleen visited on thanksgiving and stayed in Amity for Hanukkah.

Little Jazzy pants had once asked, if things got too chaotic, if she and Danny could come stay with her in Gotham.

Of course! Harleen had said.

Then she had gone home to Gotham for her final exam.

Then the Fentons went quiet.

Harleen was about to storm down there, her baby was about to turn 5 after all.

But her internship at Arkham kept her in Gotham one more month. And that last month of her six month study of him was what it took for the Joker to weasel his way into her head and her heart.

It had been 12 grueling years as the Joker's right hand. She had killed for him, almost died for him, and in the end she had finally seen the light.

And now she had her sweet Pam at her side. 

She hadn't made it to her baby's bar mitzvah. She hadn't thrown him a happy sixteen like her mother had tried to do for her. She hadn't even seen her baby or her favorite neice in over a decade other than in the photos Jazz sometimes sent.

She had written to Jazz about her new apartment by the park. Offered to let her stay if she still wanted to get her psych degree from Gotham U like her Auntie Harley.

Maybe it was time to visit the Fentons.

That had been the plan. Barely a day later changed Harleen's decision from packing her bags to readying herself for war.

The knock on the door had been frantic.

On her front steps stood a tall red headed gal that held a scrawny black haired kid with his eyes screwed up in pain. That promise to let them stay if things got to chaotic came to mind. They were both spattered in a kryptonite green substance that was patterned suspiciously like blood from a gunblast.

Harley had inflicted the damage enough to know what it would look like.

"Jazz! Why are you covered in ecto. Get in here."

The girl was wide eyed as she staggered into the apartment. Had she carried Danny up the stairs? Danny had to be 17, and however scrawny he was, that wasn't an insignificant heft.

"I didn't know who else to go to. The GIW have eyes everywhere. Oh god. Auntie, they tried to... they tried to..."

The poor girl stumbled. Tears welled in her eyes.

"What would the Ghost Investigation Ward want with you?" Her heart clench at the bloodsplatter stains in ectoplasm across Jazz's arms. The green across Danny's shirt went to where he had his hands covering his hip.

"What did they do? Explode a ghost right on top of ya?" Harley asked.

"They shot Danny. He usually heals fast but the wound keeps reopening."

"They shot... Danny?"

But that was ectoplasm. Not blood. Her baby shouldn't be bleeding green.

"Ivy?" Harley yelled. Please let him be part plant. Maybe the unsafe lab conditions had turned him meta. Yeah. That's what happened to Pam.

Harley pushed away the thought of what her sister studied. She ignored the part of her that was screaming that her baby shouldn't bleed like a ghost.

"Ok put 'im on the couch," Harley said. She shook her hands trying to think. Pam stepped into the front room with a steaming mug of that mushroom mud that kept popping up as a coffee alternative.

"I'm here. What's- holy shi- Harley, what's going on."

"Pam. You know how you help me get bullets out sometimes?"

Pam looked at the green spatter across the boy laying on the couch and made the same connection Harley had.

"Who hurt them?"

Jazz looked up at Pammy warily.

"Auntie Harley, does she know about Amity?"

Harley looked at the girl. She had her hand out protectively in front of Danny on the couch.

Danny's eyelids opened just a sliver.

"I can help him," Pam said. Her face set and she called the nearest vine her direction.

Danny gasped. "When did Undergrowth go gal? I could have thrown a deadname party. Heh, Dead-name." Danny chuckled. It turned into a wracking cough.

Jazz moved between Ivy and her brother. Her eyes were wide. Her hands shook but she held them up as fists.

"You can't fight him while he's down. There are- are rules."

"Who is undergrowth?" Ivy asked softly.

Jazz's hands lowered.

"One of Danny's rogues." She said. She looked dazed.

Harley watched her niece and pieced to gether the evidence. Jazz was in shock.

"Jazzy sit down. Pam is going to get out what ever they shot him with ."

Jazz collapsed into the chair next to the couch.

Danny eyed Pammy.

"You're not a ghost?" He said.

Pam laughed. "Of course I'm not a ghost. What does this look like, Gotham Cemetery?"

Danny harumphed quietly. Pamela knelt next to Harley's son and lifted her vines above his torso.

"I need to access the wound to get the bullet out." She said.

Danny carefully moved his hands. He winced as Pam pulled up his shirt.

The wound didn't look to bad. It looked more like a week old tear that hadn't been stitched properly. Not something that should be in her kid's stomach, but not the size and newness that warranted the amount of green splatter that covered the siblings.

Ivy carefully threaded the vine into Danny's wound.  Danny gritted his teeth.

That's when it all went wrong.

"I got something," Pammy said.

Danny's torso began to beep, flashing green.

"Ancients, not again," Danny said. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Danny!" Jazz grabbed his hand.

Danny's torso exploded.  Green splattered across the living room. Danny yowled. Pam knelt in shock as the vine she had been probing into Danny's wound disintegrated.

Harley rushed over to survey the damage.

Jazz started scooping intestines back into Danny's torso. "Hurry, the more we keep in the less he has to heal. Aunt Harley, he needs as many calories as you can find."

Danny's eyes remained squeezed shut. His tight grip on the couch cushions told Harley he was still alive. But it was impossible to ignore the smell. She knew what ectoplasm smelled like. That odd mixture of death and ozone had a soft freezer burn overtone to it.  She remembered her sister's experiments. She knew it permeated the Fenton's house.

Ectoplasm pumped out of Danny's gut even as she watched the skin reknit  in front of her eyes.

"Miss Pam. If you are going to get it out, get it now," Jazz said.

Ivy moved. Rather than call another plant to potentially be harmed, her Pammy was such a softy for green things, she stuck her hand in and grabbed the device in Danny's gut.

Dripping in the ectoplasm that ran through Danny's veins Pam pulled out a little white disk with a small green sphere embedded in the middle. She tossed the little chip to Harley.

Harley considered smashing the thing that hurt her baby. But she hesitated. Food came first. Harley put the little device on a side table.

Harley ran to the kitchen. She grabbed all the pop top soups and crackers she could stuff in a spare grocery bag and hurried back to the living room.

"I gotchya some stew, some graham crackers. There's a jar of pickles in the fridge I can grab if you needs the electrolytes."

Danny held a hand out still grimacing. His torso was half was closed up. Pamela was doing her best the pull the wound closed with vines taking the place of stitches. It seemed to be helping but Harley had no idea how fast Danny normally healed. Why did her son have super healing in the first place?

Danny took the spoon she handed him. Jazz popped cans open and Danny downed them like each one was his last meal. 

The healing sped up if that was possible. He didn't stop eating when the skin closed up. He devoured every can of soup, three packets of saltines, two boxes of graham crackers and was starting on the cheezits when he finally began to slow.

"Need something still," He said around a mouth full of crackers.

Harley grabbed the jar of pickles.

He chugged it. He let out a burp with its own echo then gave a contented sigh.

"Thanks Aunt Harley. Nothing like food for pain."

And didn't that just pull on her heart strings.

"Who shot you with a bomb?" Pam asked.

Danny gave a nervous giggle. His eyes wandered to Jazz. 

She grimaced. "She deserves to know the truth Danny. She's family."

"Becaude being family means she has zero ill will." Danny snarled. There was hurt behind the venom in his voice. Harley frowned.

"Mom came around."

Danny's jaw tightened. His eyes shifted to assess Harley. Harley decided to take a leap she put the pieces she had together.

"Honey, why did you have a rogue. Did the green turn ya into a hero or something? Is that why-why you bleed like a ghost?"

Danny went very still. He didn't even breathe. He watched her with calculating eyes.

Then he sighed.

"Its a little more complicated than that."

Danny stood. Pammy shuffled back a knee as he stepped past her.

He watche Harley's eyes carefully.

"I'm going ghost," he said quietly.

Two rings of white light manifested around Danny. They slid down his body and where they passed, he changed. Danny glowed. His hair went white; it floated slightly as if gravity had no hold. His clothes were replaced by a black jumpsuit with a silver white belt and a logo on its chest. His eyes which had changed to ecto green still held her gaze.

"Going ghost? Danny… did you die?" Harley said. Her throat was tight. Her eyes took in the resemblence to the jumpsuits her sister and her Jack always wore. Her heart sank even as she asked the question. If the answer was no there was only one other possible culprit.

"Did the GIW do this to you?" Harley asked, hoped really.

Danny laughed. He bent over tears coming to his eyes. "Oh they wish they were that good."

"Then who..." she didn't want him to tell her. She didn't need that confirmed.

"You know my parents. Safety proceedures, um, aren't exactly their forte," he said. But he turned his face away. Harley saw the pain he tried to hide with a joke. Just like her.

"You died because Maddie was careless?" Her tone had lost all its color. A numbness was building behind the heat in her chest. Her hand itched for her bat.

"Let's not talk about it. Where did you put the bomb?"

Harley gesture to the side table. Danny approached it carefully. He reached a hand out toward it. Harley grabbed his shoulder.

"You just gonna paint my whole room green?"

Danny shook his head. "I think I know how to dismantle it. We have another ten minutes before it sends out a pulse. Probably."

He pulled out of her grip and picked up the little device. She watched his expression go steely as he held it up in front of them.

"Those fools." Danny pinched the little green sphere lodged in the center of the device. It phased out of the white ring. Danny tossed the white ring back on the table. He cooed at the little green ball.

"Hey Cujo, I got you buddy."

To Harley's surprise green mist poured from the little sphere. A small ghostly dog formed in Danny's arms.  It shivered and pressed itself against Danny's chest.

"Hey buddy. I'm sorry. I didn't know they got you." Danny's feet left the ground as he held the shivering green dog close. "Shh, it's ok now. They won't get you again."

"You saved him," Jazz muttered. Harley watched the girl's eyes slide closed. Covered in her younger brother's ecto blood Jazz passed out half on the couch half on the still green stained floor. In a moment she began to gently snore.

Harley let out a long breath.

"Danny, how did that pup get in the bomb."

Danny held the small green dog close. "They stole a prototype. I've been trying to build a more secure way than a thermos to hold a certain ghost. He's uh, closer to me than I like to admit. But the holding field was unstable. It sent too much juice so I scrapped it. Looks like the GIW dig through the trash at Fentonworks. I should have burned them."

Harley wasn't sure if Danny meant the plans or the GIW. She was ready to burn anyone that took advantage of Danny.

"We'll get them back."

Danny smiled sadly. "The anti-ecto acts mean they are legal. I'm sorry Aunt Harley. There isn't much I can do but hide out until my hacker deletes the files."

"The what acts?" Harley's voice came out with a snap of her teeth.

"Ecto contaminated or composed entities aren't considered sapient by US law. President Luthor made sure of that."

"He did, did he. We'll see about that."

Harley and Pammy carried Jazz to the guest room. Harley gently woke her and gave her a change of clothes to wear. She was tall like Pam and Pammy didn't mind her niece borrowing a set of pjs.

With Jazz settled and Pam addressing the mess in the front room Harley told Danny to sleep. Those white rings appeared again and Danny was just a tired looking teen again. He carried Cujo to bed with him assuring her that he didn't shed though she hadn't asked.

He joined Jazz. They lay down back to back and closed their eyes.

The Fenton's had not been the safer place. Her baby had died. And he had become a hero, and a target of the Ghost Investigation Ward.

Harley needed more than her bat to smack this problem away. She needed The Bat.

Harley grabbed the white portion of the bomb and slid it into her pocket. If batman didn't see the problem with Luthor signed acts that made sentient beings targets as a problem, the bomb they had used on her underaged son would. She knew what J-man had done to the second Robin.

Then she was going to have a long talk with her sister about what she did to their little boy.

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Every time someone says “Babies don’t belong on flights.” parents get soooo angry. The bottom line is DO NOT PARTAKE IN AIR TRAVEL WITH YOUR INFANT UNLESS YOU QUITE LITERALLY HAVE NO CHOICE, your newborn will not enjoy Disneyland, pediatricians quite literally advise you to not plan a long distance vacation in your child’s first 6 months of life. The airport and air travel in general is unhealthy and stressful for babies. STOP BRINGING YOUR FUCKING BABY ON THE PLANE UNLESS IT IS A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION. It is not selfish kid-hating behavior to say “Don’t travel with your kid until they’re older and vaccinated and don’t travel with your kid if you know it’s going to be a negative experience for them.” The screaming is a secondary problem to the fact you’re lugging your fresh out of the womb tot through a bacterial and viral breeding ground to be trapped in an overstimulating metal capsule in the sky for hours.

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Planes are overwhelming for me as a grown man even when I know I’m going somewhere exciting. I can’t imagine how scary and painful they must be for a very young child who has no idea what is going on and can’t pop their ears or communicate what is wrong.

u ppl will rly say "UR KILLING UR CHILD, THINK ABOUT THAT" just because you cant deal with a crying baby. grow the fuck up.

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please get real. like for real. get real. it isn’t me, baby hater extraordinaire saying this. it’s professionals. I have no idea why you freaks in the notes think this is a fun slam dunk. babies do not belong on planes.

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Tumblr's propensity to communicate about current events exclusively via Supernatural memes, while present, is often grossly overstated. For example, I just found out about the Russian military insurrection via a Fate/stay night meme, which is honestly a little concerning.

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back at it w another dp x dc prompt!! :0

you know the setup; Jack and Maddie go evil mad scientist mode and Danny and Jazz have to run away to Gotham.... except the only adult Jazz can think of that they could go to is their auntie Harleen.

she was the 'cool aunt', their favourite babysitter as kids, and the one who inspired Jazz to become a therapist. more importantly, she knew all about the Fenton's ghost hunting, and that ghosts were even real. Harleen never liked that the kids were being raised on top of a lab filled with dangerous weapons- she argued with her sister, Maddie, all the time about it- and she always told Jazz if their parents ever made them feel unsafe she and Danny could go to her.

but at some point, she just... dropped off the face of the earth. she still sent cards and texts, but she stopped showing up for Thanksgivings and Bat Mitzvahs. Jazz knew auntie Harleen lived in Gotham, and she could get her number from their mom's phone. hopefully she still meant what she'd said when Jazz was a kid, and wouldn't mind two traumatised teens showing up on her doorstep.

Harley, of course, is delighted to see her favourite niece and nephew, and Ivy has to physically restrain her from coming after the Fentons with her mallet

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Ok hear me out, Harley in canon had a baby and left her with a sister. Maybe Danny is that baby? (The timeline would have to bastardized for it to work but honestly when has that mattered?) So she finds out that they killed her baby with their stupid ghost genocide obsession and not even a combo of Ivy and Batman can stop her???

Harleen Quinzel still sent her little boy Christmas cards. She wasn't sure she liked that her sister had decided to live in a lab with basically no safety procedures but Amity Park Illinois was a far cry from Gotham in terms of danger so she had been happy that her baby was safe with Maddie and her himbo of a ghost hunting husband Jack.

She had been a part of his early life. She had had him too young and Maddie already had her doctorate. So Harleen visited on thanksgiving and stayed in Amity for Hanukkah.

Jazz had asked once if things got too chaotic, if she and Danny could come stay with her in Gotham.

Of course! Harleen had said.

She had went home to Gotham for her final exam.

Then the Fentons went quiet.

Harleen was about to storm down there, her baby was about to turn 5 after all.

But her internship at Arkham kept her in Gotham one more month. And that last of her six month study of him was what it took for the Joker to weasel his way into her head and her heart.

It had been 12 grueling years as the Joker's right hand. She had killed for him, almost died for him, and in the end she had finally seen the light.

And now she had her sweet Pam at her side. She hadn't made it to her baby's bar mitzvah. She hadn't thrown him a happy sixteen like her mother had tried to do for her. She hadn't even seen her baby or her favorite neice in over a decade other than in the photos Jazz sometimes sent.

She had written to Jazz about her new apartment. Offered to let her stay if she still wanted to get her psych degree from Gotham U like her Auntie Harley.

Maybe it was time to visit the Fentons.

That had been the plan. Barely a day later changed Harleen's decision from packing her bags to readying herself for war.

The knock on the door had been frantic.

That promise to let them stay if things got to chaotic came to mind as she opened the door. On her front steps stood a tall red headed gal that held a scrawny black haired kid with his eyes screwed up in pain. They were both spattered in a kryptonite green substance that was patterned suspiciously like blood from a gunblast.

Harley had inflicted the damage enough to know what it would look like.

"Jazz! Why are you covered in ecto. Get in here."

The girl was wide eyed as she staggered into the apartment. Had she carried Danny up the stairs? Danny had to be 17, and however scrawny he was that wasn't an insignificant heft.

"I didn't know who else to go to. The GIW have eyes everywhere. Oh god. Auntie, they tried to... they tried to..."

The poor girl stumbled. Tears welled in her eyes.

"What would the Ghost Investigation Ward want with you?" Her heart clench at the bloodspalatte stains in ectoplasm across Jazz's arms. The green across Danny's shirt went to where he had his hands covering his hip.

"What did they do? Explode a ghost right on top of ya?" Harley asked.

"They shot Danny. He usually heals fast but the wound keeps reopening."

"They shot... Danny?"

But that was ectoplasm. Not blood. Her baby shouldn't be bleeding green.

"Ivy?" Harley yelled. Please let him be part plant. Maybe the unsafe lab conditions had turned him mets. Yeah. That's what happened to Pam.

Harley pushed away what her sister studied. She ignored the part of her that was screaming that her baby shouldn't bleed like a ghost.

"Ok put 'im on the couch," Harley said. She shook her hands trying to think. Pam stepped into the front room with a steaming mug of that mushroom mud that kept popping up as a coffee alternative.

"I'm here. What's- holy shi- Harley, what's going on."

"Pam. You know how you help me get bullets out sometimes?"

Pam looked at the green spatter across the boy laying on the couch and made the same connection Harley had.

"Who hurt them?"

Jazz looked up at Harley's girlfriend warily.

"Auntie Harley, does she know about Amity?"

Harley looked at the girl. She had her hand out protectively in front of Danny on the couch.

Danny's eyelids opened just a sliver.

"I can help him." Pam said. Her face set and she called the nearest vine her direction.

Danny gasped. "When did Undergrowth go gal? I could have thrown a deadname party. Heh, Dead-name." Danny chuckled. It turned into a wracking cough.

Jazz moved between Ivy and her brother. Her eyes were wide. Her hands shook but she held them up as fists.

"You can't fight him while he's down. There are- are rules."

"Who is undergrowth?" Ivy asked softly.

Jazz's hands lowered.

"One of Danny's rogues." She said. She looked dazed.

Harley watched her niece and pieced to gether the evidence. Jazz was in shock.

"Jazzy sit down. Pam is going to get what ever they shot him with out."

Jazz collapsed into the chair next to the couch.

Danny eyed Pammy.

"You're not a ghost?" He said.

Pam laughed. "Of course I'm not a ghost. What does this look like, Gotham Cemetery?"

Danny harumphed quietly. Pamela knelt next to Harley's son and lifted her vines above his torso.

"I need to access the wound to get the bullet out." She said.

Danny carefully moved his hands. He winced as Pam pulled up his shirt.

The wound didn't look to bad. It looked more like a week old tear that hadn't been stitched properly. Not something that should be in her kid's stomach, but not the size and newness that warranted the amount of green splatter that covered the siblings.

Ivy carefully threaded the vine into Danny's wound. Danny gritted his teeth.

That's when it all went wrong.

"I got something." Pammy said.

Danny's torso began to beep, flashing green.

"Ancients, not again." Danny said. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Danny!" Jazz grabbed his hand.

Danny's torso exploded. Green splattered across the living room. Danny yowled. Pam knelt in shock as the vine she had been probing In Danny's wound disintegrated.

Harley rushed over to survey the damage.

Jazz started scooping intestines back into Danny's torso. "Hurry, the more we keep in the less he has to heal. Aunt Harley, he need s as many calories as you can find."

Danny's eyes remained squeezed shut. His tight grip on the couch cushions told Harley he was still alive. But it was impossible to ignore the smell. She knew what ectoplasm smelled like. She remembered her sister's experiments. She knew what permeated the Fenton's house.

Ectoplasm pumped out of Danny's gut even as she watched the skin reknit in front of her eyes.

"Miss Pam. If you are going to get it out get it now." Jazz said.

Ivy moved. Rather than call another plant to potentially be harmed, her Pammy was such a softy for green things, She stuck her hand in and grabbed the device in Danny's gut.

Dripping in the ectoplasm that ran through Danny's veins Pam pulled out a little white disk with a small green sphere embedded in the middle. She tossed the little chip to Harley.

Harley considered smashing the thing that hurt her baby. But she hesitated. Food came first. Harley put the little device on a side table.

Harley ran to the kitchen. She grabbed all the pop top soups and crackers she could stuff in a spare grocery bag and hurried back to the living room.

"I gotchya some stew, some graham crackers. There's a jar of pickles in the fridge I can grab if you needs the electrolytes."

Danny held a gand out still grimacing. His torso was half was closed up. Pamela was doing her best the pull the wound closed with vines taking the place of stitches. It seemed to be helping but Harley had no idea how fast Danny normally healed. Why did her son have super healing in the first place?

Danny took the spoon she handed him. Jazz popped cans open adn Danny downed them like each one was his last meal.

The healing sped up if that was possible. He didn't stop eating when the skin closed up. He devoured every can of soup, three packets of saltines, two boxes of grham crackers and was starting on the cheezits when he finally began to slow.

"Need something still," He said around a mouth full of crackers.

Harley grabbed the jar of pickles.

He chugged it. He let out a burp with its own echo then gave a contented sigh.

"Thanks Aunt Harley. Nothing like food for pain."

And didn't that just pull on her heart strings.

"Who shot you with a bomb?" Pam asked.

Danny gave a nervous giggle. His eyes wandered to Jazz. She grimaced. "She deserves to know the truth Danny. She's family."

"Becaude being family means she has zero ill will." Danny snarled. There was hurt behind the venom in his voice. Harley frowned.

"Mom came around."

Danny's jaw tightened. His eyes shifted to assess Harley. Harley decided to take a leap she put the pieces she had to gather

"Honey, why did you have a rogue. Did the green turn ya into a hero or something? Is that why-why you bleed like a ghost?"

Danny went very still. He didn't even breathe. He watched her with calculating eyes.

Then he sighed.

"Its a little more complicated than that."

Danny stood. Pammy shuffled back a knee as he stepped past her.

He watche Harley's eyes carefully.

"I'm going ghost," he said quietly.

Two rings of white light manifested around Danny. They slid down his body and where they passed, he changed. Danny glowed. His hair went white; it floated slightly as if gravity had no hold. His clothes were replaced by a black jumpsuit with a silver white belt and a logo on its chest. His eyes which had changed to ecto green still held her gaze.

"Going ghost? Danny, did you die?" Harley said. Her throat was tight. Her eyes took in the resemblence to the jumpsuits her sister and her Jack always wore. Her heart sank even as she asked the question. If the answer was no there was only one other possible culprit.

"Did the GIW do this to you?" Harley asked, hoped really.

Danny laughed. He bent over tears coming to his eyes. "Oh they wish they were that good."

"Then who..." she didn't want him to tell her. She didn't need that confirmed.

"You know my parents. Safety proceedures, um, aren't exactly their forte." He said. But he turned his face away. Harley saw the pain he tried to hide with a joke. Just like her.

"You died because Maddie was careless?" Her tone had lost all its color. A numbness was building behind the heat in her chest. Her hand itched for her bat.

"Let's not talk about it. Where did you put the bomb?"

Harley gesture to the side table. Danny approached it carefully. He reached a hand out toward it. Harley grabbed his shoulder.

"You just gonna paint my whole room green?"

Danny shook his head. "I think I know how to dismantle it. We have another ten minutes before it sends out a pulse. Probably."

He pulled out of her grip and picked up the little device. She watched his expression go steely as he held it up in front of them.

"Those fools." Danny pinched the little green sphere lodged in the center of the device. It phased out of the white ring. Danny tossed the white ring back on the table. He cooed at the little green ball.

"Hey Cujo, I got you buddy."

To Harley's surprise green mist poured from the little sphere. A small ghostly dog formed in Danny's arms. It shivered a d pressed itself against Danny's chest.

"Hey buddy. I'm sorry. I didn't know they got you." Danny's feet left the ground as he held the shivering green dog close. "Shh, it's ok now. They won't get you again."

"You saved him." Jazz muttered. Harley watched the girl's eyes slide closed. Cvered in her younger brother's ecto blood Jazz passed out. In a moment she began to gently snore.

Harley let out a long breath.

"Danny, how did that pup get in the bomb."

Danny held the small green dog close. "They stole a prototype. I've been trying to build a more secure way than a thermos to hold a certain ghost. He's uh, closer to me than I like to admit. But the holding field was unstable it sent too much juice so I scrapped it. Looks like the GIW dig through the trash at Fentonworks. I should have burned them."

Harley wasn't sure if Danny meant the plans or the GIW. She was ready to burn anyone that took advantage of Danny.

"We'll get them back."

Danny smiled sadly. "The antiecto acts mean they are legal. I'm sorry Aunt Harley. There isn't much I can do mñbut hide out until my hacker deletes the files."

"The what acts?" Harley's voice came out with a snap of her teeth.

"Ecto contaminated or composed entities aren't considered sapient by us law. President Luthor made sure of that."

"He did, did he. We'll see about that."

Harley and Pammy carried Jazz to the guest room. Harley gently woke her and gave her a change of clothes to wear. She was tall like Pam and pammy didn't mind her niece borrowing a set of pjs.

With Jazz settled. And Pam addressing the mess in the front room Harley told Danny to sleep. Those white rings appeared again and Danny was just a tired looking teen again. He carried Cujo to bed with him asuring her that he didn't shed though she hadn't asked.

He joined Jazz. They lay down back to back and closed their eyes.

The Fenton's had not been the safer place. Her baby had died. And he had become a hero, and a target of the Ghost Investigation Ward.

Harley needed more than her bat to smack this problem away. She needed The Bat.

Harley grabbed the white portion of the bomb and slid it into her pocket. If batman didn't see Luthor signed acts that made sentient beings targets as a problem, the bomb they had used on her underaged son would. She knew what J-man had done to the second Robin.

Then she was going to have a long talk with her sister about what she did to thier little boy.

Earlier that night

Jason felt a pulse blast through him. It was like a quiet earthquake shook his entire being and tried to unmoor him. He thought maybe he had imagined it. But it happened again fifteen minutes later. It rocked him enough that he stumbled to the side. 

“Hood, what was that?” His comm burbled with Barbara’s modulated voice.

“What was what?” Jason said.

“The comms just exploded with static. Are you disarming an EMP or something?”

Well at least he knew he wasn’t imagining it. 

“Don’t know Oracle. Just felt it. Can you track it?”

“Maybe. Seems like alot of cameras went down by Tim earlier. I’ll check if whatever cams are left in crime alley are having the same effect.”

“Find the center. I have a bad feeling its gonna go off again.” Jason closed his eyes. Had there been a direction the blast had come from. He sorted through the memory of static. “I think its somewhere West of me?”

“Damn it," barbra swore, "this better not be a new Arkham escape attempt.” 

Jason started running. He leaped on his bike. Ten minutes of driving on sidewalks when he needed to with the souped up bike got him half way from crime alley to the psych prison. They could call it asylum all they wanted. It was a prison. A block from the bridge to Arkham he felt the wave building. He shut down the motor cycle and braced for impact. 

The wave of static definitely had a direction this time. It pounded through him. Unsettling something in the core of his being. He turned to face the blast head on. It almost brought him to his knees. 

When it had passd his vision was green. He braced for the rage that usually rose with the pit awakening. But instead a burbling panic, a need to run. Wobbled in his chest. 

“Oracle, you there?”

“Yeah, it hit again didn’t it?”

“Its not coming from Arkham.”

“I thought you said it was west?”

“Its coming from somewhere by the park. I’m in route now.”

Jason shifted and the burbling in his chest felt like the pit was whimpering. He got his bike and headed straight for the static burst. 

Aprapo park was green for the time of year. But he knew Ivy had set up near by so that was to be expected. He hoped he didn’t run into her. But an emp bomb didn’t seem her style. He drove into the park on his motor bike, probably illegal but he needed to find the thing before it went off again. He had a feeling the bomb had been moving. Maybe it was being driven away even now. But somehow he didn’t think so. His chest thrummed. And he stopped the bike. 

There was a small blue car still idling in front. The inside was coated with a kryptonite green liquid. Fresh green steps went into the house with a door messily painted red and blue

Green filled his vision and in his chest he felt a tug from the town house next to him. 

“Oh shi-” the static from before was nothing. This was fire and agony. This was the explosion that had killed him all over again. This was the crow bar beating his skull in. This was waking up in an airless grave and falling into the lazarus pits choking and burning as it sizzled its way into his flesh.

Jason came to on all fours. Barbara’s voice in his ear had a tinny quality. It took him a second to register she was calling for him.

“Hood, What’s happening. Damn it. Red Robin, get over there. He’s by Aprapo Park but he’s not responding. The cameras all went down.”

“On it O.” Tim’s voice. He was coming over then. 

Jason’s arms were shaking. He felt like he had just been run over by a truck. His legs took a minute to respond. When he finally wobbled to his feet he stumbled to the red and blue door. Harley’s door. It had to be. What was she doing in there. In her own house?

He looked back at the car. The mysterious green substance, was it kryptonite green, or pit water green? He slammed his hand on the door. No one answered.

He tried to lift his leg to kick. But he lost his balance. Something inside him was off center. He hit the steps with a sharp zing. He just laid back the rest of the way. Hopefully he hadn’t broken something. What in the hell was going on here. Jason flicked his eyes to the top of his domino mask’s read out for the time as he sprawled on the stairs. 

So of course that was when Harley slammed the door open. 

She blinked down at him for a moment. WIth a feral grin Harley put her bat to her shoulder. She jumped to the stair his head rested on, pirroetted and crouched. 

“Good, you got one of them comms to the Bat dontchya?”

“Wha’ the hell are you doin’ with a bomb in y’re house Harley.” Weird, he hadn’t meant to slur his words.

“Wah-oh,” Harley said. She poked him. “Where’d ya get the concussion bat hood?”

“Red hood,” he corrected her. 

“Well I need the bat. If you aren’t good for that I’ll need ta use ya as a hostage for a minute, kay?”

This might as well be happening. Jason tried to push him self up. If he had to fight… he wobbled and almost hit his head on the steps. Harley grabbed the back of his leather coat before he could drop. 

“Don’t look wise ta test helmet strength on my stairs bat hood.”

“Red hood.” 

“Hood are you responsive?” Tim’s voice buzzed in his ear. 

Harley helped Jason to his feet. He put a hand to his head. 

“Harley wantssss to talk t’ the Bat.” He slurred.

“Uh, are you drunk?” Tim said.

“Shu’ up replacemen’. I got caught in the blast.”

Oracle’s voice came through clearer than Tim’s. “Holy crap, are you ok? Are you bleeding anywhere?”

Jason looked down at himself as Harley dragged him inside. 

“‘M good, shaken not stirred,” he said. 

Inside he saw another blast of green like the one that covered the inside of the car outside. At the center of the blast was a human shaped clean space on the couch. Ivy was cleaning up the green. Maybe a plant experiment then?

“Ivy, wha’ did you do t’ make that explosion?” he said, “was it a plant bomb?”

Ivy turned eyes wide with anger. “I would never sacrifice my babies for a bomb, Hood.”

Jason squinted. Something still pulled at that wobbly spot in his chest. 

“Its… its upstairs.” he rubbed at his chest. 

Ivy raised an eyebrow. “What is?”

Jason turned toward the pull. “Calling me…” Harley’s bat smacked him in the back of the helmet. He should have seen that coming.  Jason collapsed as the world went dark. 

……………………………………………………………………….

Harley dragged Stupid Hood onto his side. She wasn’t a medical doctor but she didn’t want him to choke on his own spit. She sighed. Bats would come now one way or another.

She poked at Hood with her bat. He started to stir.

“Ivy, could ya tie him up?”

Pam rolled her eyes but vines danced around the young man’s limbs securing him in place. 

“If he didn’t have a concussion before, he does now,” Harley said. She tilted her head at the crime lord who sometimes played hero. “Where does Bats keep finding these kids?” 

There was the distinct whizing sound of someone with a grappling hook out side. Soft feet landed on the porch. Had the Bat gotten here that fast? 

Someone crashed through the window. 

Harley sighed as the red and green outfitted red robin rolled to his feet in the front room. 

“Do ya hafta break my stuff?” Harley said. “I just got that window replaced.”

Red Robin looked at her. His eyes dropped to where red hood was tied up by vines and his head flickered to Ivy in the corner and back to her. 

“What did you do to him? Where’s the bomb?”

“Its been disassembled.” Harley said she stood. She rubbed her chin as she went closer to Red Robin, yummm. She shook her head. Focus Harls.

 

“Hey, ainchya the tech bird?” 

Red Robin hesitated. “Why?”

Harley took the white disk out of her pocket. “‘Cause I got somethin’ the bat needs to look at.” she held it up between two fingers. 

“What is it exactly?” Red Robin said. 

Red Hood tried to flip over. 

“Some kinda explosive thing. It tore up a kid real bad. Pam got it out. But it had a boom that caused that.” Harley gestured to the splatters of green on her couch and walls. Red Robin stared. 

He nodded. “You could say I’m the tech bird. Are you asking for help with the EMP that kept pulsing?” 

Red Hood struggled in the bonds of vines. 

“Pammy, let bat hood speak.” 

Ivy let the vines move from the speakers on the red hood the young man wore. 

“Its Red Hood,” even through the modulator he sounded irked. Harley grinned. 

“What’s your commentary that made ya wiggle?” Harley said. She let the white ring roll over her fingers like a quarter. The empty center was a little bigger than a marble. She probably coulda put the ring over her thumb but she wasn’t sure what it did still besides trap the poor ghost doggie. 

“Thats not what’s pulling me here,” Hood said, “What do you have upstairs?” 

Harley snarled. “Don’t you mind what isn’t your business.”

Another voice joined the fray. “Gotham is my business.”

Batman stood in the broken window frame. 

“Finally. I thought you were gonna take all night Batsy!” Harley said, “We gotta take down a government branch.”

The whites of the the cowl that bypassed for eyes narrowed. Harley wished she knew how that worked. “I don’t work against the law, Harleen. You know that.”

“Uh, helping with the meta acts says otherwise Bats. And Luthor made a loophole.”

“Hm.” 

Harley giggled. There was no humor in the smile she gave the Bat. “A kid just had a murder attempt on him that’s lawful ‘cause he don’t count.”

The Bat just stared. 

“Search up the anti-ecto acts batty boi. And we’ll hang onto Hood while your little bird takes a look at this.” Harley tossed the white ring at Red Robin. He put out a hand to catch it. 

Bat man smacked the white ring down. It bounced on the floor and landed on Hood’s arm. 

Hood screamed. Harley stared. It hadn’t hurt her. Green sparks started along the edge of the white ring. Hood curled in on himself. 

Harley snatched the ring off the batty crime lord. She stared at Bats. 

“Why in the living nightmares is this kid reacting to anti-ghost tech?” she asked. 

“Ghost tech?” Batman said. Was there a hint of pain in that voice? Boy, if she still had her psychology liscence… then she probably wouldn’t a' become a villain… maybe. 

She stepped over Hood and held the ring out to Red Robin. “You haven’t died or anything, right?”

She saw The Bat’s shoulders stiffen subtley.

 

“Uh, not that I know of.” Red Robin took the white ring carefully. It didn’t spark or anything. 

Harley let out a sigh.

“Good. I wanna know how it does what it does and you're the smartest bird from what I hear. Don’t use it near dead guys, a'right?”

“Sure.” Red Robin looked at Batman.

Batman loomed. He moved toward Harley where she stood between him and Hood.

“You have explaining to do Quinn.”

“Ah, no, you have research to do, Batsy. Anti-Ecto Acts. I’ll be happy to talk to ya after we’re on the same page.”

“I’m taking Hood.”

Hood stirred.  “I am not going back to the cave if that nasty thing is gonna be there.” He used his chin to point at Red Robin. Or the white disk. Harley couldn’t tell which.

“You heard the kid. No Batcave for Bat Hood.”

“Red hood,” Red Robin and Hood said at the same time.

Harley shrugged. 

“There’s something upstairs,” Hood said. 

Red Robin and Batman exchanged a look. Harley readied her bat. She sunk into a home-run ready squat. 

“And I will defend it with my life until we are on same ecto page, capiche?”

Red Robin tugged on Batman’s cape. “She said a kid got hurt,” he said quietly. 

Batman just watched Harley for a moment. “We will be back. For Hood and the child you are protecting.”

 Harley narrowed her eyes. “As long as they ain’t in harms way I might agree.”

The Bat and the Bird slipped out the window they had broken. Ivy let out an unhappy sound and went down to look for the stack of replacement glass. 

Harley crouched next ta Hood balancing her bat with one hand. He looked back up at her.

“So Hood, when didya die?”

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