How I’m gonna greet you fucks @mcbarbielegs @hikaribitesyou @oneclassyhuman

Okay, yes. Yes. YES.

ZENDAYA

¯ > ¯

Is this what scared you @oneclassyhuman

Did not even remotely look that cute

Sounds like us @oneclassyhuman

me texting

me: *screenshot of meme* me

me: *screenshot of meme* you

me: *screenshot of meme* me

me: *screenshot of meme* us

me: *screenshot of meme* you af

Me You @oneclassyhuman

Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.

Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.

Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.

Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on. 

On the other side

me when I hear my neighbor with the Trump 2016 lawn sign screaming for help

Someone: “Hey! How’s school going for you-”

Feminists say that if they walk around naked and get raped, it’s not their fault.  Let me ask you this, if you owned a bank and left the doors wide open with no security and you got robbed in the middle of the night, is it the robbers fault or yours?

Literally the robber’s fault??? They walked in and took something that wasn’t theirs??? They knew pretty well that they shouldn’t steal things??? What is your argument even trying to prove???

Also can we stop equating women with inanimate possessions in an attempt to show their value and worth??? Jesus fucking christ. I’m not a bank with the doors left open. I’m not a car parked in a “bad neighborhood”. I’m not a shiny wrist watch, or a purse left unattended. I’m a fucking human being. I am not a consumable good. I’m not here for the taking. And if your miniscule brain can’t wrap around that concept, don’t confuse yourself by thinking that your opinion is in any way valuable or worth sharing.

how are clothes the equivalent protection to doors and security and cameras like ??? ?? pls

Jack Roberts | @jproberts

my kink is seeing money go into my bank account

ill never forget how funny this is

Source If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts