tucks you in and kisses your forehead then shows you my knuckle tats that say SEEP TITE
guy who turns into a glass of milk when he gets angry and girl who turns into a plate of cookies when she's upset having a bitter argument with each other next to the chimney on christmas eve at 11:59 pm
Everyone say thank you to the strong nuclear force monkey that holds the very laws of physics together
grocery store mission barely accomplished took massive damage to the hull and all internal systems. shield repair could take days
why don’t we eat the ouside of peanuts? why don’t we just accept what’s there? just eat the shell., toss out the inner nut? why don’t we scrape of the peelings of the shell and it it like candy toss the nuts on the ground, nuts all over the ground. they empty its husk and litter the floors. peanut shells all over the floors. in the Texas Roadhouse there’s peanut shells all over the damn floors, they eat the nuts so hungrily, buckets fills of peanuts, just eat the nuts. you hear the crunch, crunch, of peanut shells littering the floors everywhere you walk a peanut she’ll. they just want the inner nut. the bean within the paper. the nut inside the peanu shell
what the fuck is wrong with you
I don’t want to die
I feel like if humans swallowed rocks like birds do to help grind up food we'd have so much fun with it.
Can just imagine all the girlies on tiktok going "I know this is a bit controversial but I honestly love using limestone as a gastrolith. Not only can you readily forage it but they are just so pretty when smoothed out after regurgitating them"
and then all the comments would be like " girl 😭 😭 calcite dissolves in stomach acid!! Just use quartz if you want a pretty gastrolith like 💀"
I like this site. Y’all just shotgunning counterfactual timelines
boyboobs
hey id like you to finally meet my tiny son Pistachio aaand you picked him up and ate him. okay
my dads recently been jokin a lot about “mystic runes” like i asked what we were gonna do when we took a rest stop in santa barbara and he said “look for mystic runes” and then i asked if we were gonna eat or just walk around while my mom shopped and he said “the runes will tell us”
autism is living by vampire rules. light sensitivity. eating the wrong food makes you want to die. need to be explicitly invited places. weird sleep schedule. eating the same thing every time. specific rituals and routines. burst into flames at the sight of a crucifix. etc.
