drarry and memes

i hope i get reborn as a duck who lives at disneyworld and gets to eat potato chips that tourists paid $11.99 for

Press Y to honk is now the new press F to pay respects

Nah its the direct opposite

Press Y to pay disrespects

Y

Okay let me rant about this a bit. Press Y to honk IS, quite literally, exact opposite of press F.

Press F to pay respects appears only once in Call of Duty Advanced Warfare - hell, only once in entire Call of Duty series. It’s a single, context-sensitive action that you can never do before or again. In addition, you are forced to do it to progress - if you won’t, you will sit there at this stupid funeral for hours and days. It’s funny because it’s so horribly ill-fitting and forced. We’re laughing AT writers and designers who thought this was a good idea.

Press Y to honk, on the other hand, is systemic, not contextual. At any point in Untitled Goose Game, you can honk, whenever you like - it’s a dedicated honking button. Not only that, but honking has an actual effect - NPCs will be distracted by hearing it, turning in your direction, and some will run away. The act of honking is not funny - what’s funny is the concept of honking, that in a game about a goose there is a button dedicated solely to honking - but also, what’s funny are the interactions that ARISE from using the honk. Making someone trying to hammer a nail  smash his thumb by honking right as the hammer goes down  - that’s great comedy, and it’s PLAYER CONTROLLED comedy. We’re laughing WITH the designers, because they gave us a gameplay tool, a mechanic that is hilarious because we have the power to make it hilarious.

Press F to pay respects is funny because it’s horrible game design. Press Y to honk is funny because it’s amazingly good game design.

another absolutely fantastic trope is when a scifi/fantasy character calls the oblivious object of their affections a term of endearment in their fictional first language during an emotional moment which they refuse to translate, and their love interest assumes due to the unresolved sexual tension fuelled rivalry aspect of their relationship that it's an insult, only to have their world absolutely rocked to its core when they finally manage to get a translation and realize that the other person has been pining for them the entire goddamn time

like,

character a: it's just, i try so hard but i honestly think [character b] hates me. i mean, they called me a [untranslated word or phrase] a few weeks ago, and they've hardly looked, let alone spoken to me since then :(

person they're talking to: "[untranslated word or phrase]"? are you sure?

character a: ...i think so. why?

person they're talking to: hmm. yeah. well that's uh. well it's not an insult. that's a declaration of love.

character a: w

character a: what

I'minthispictureandIdon'tlikeit.jpeg

A clown coils around me like a python, asphyxiating me into submission and unhinging its jaw to swallow me whole

That’s just how my mom says hi, how dare you ridicule her like this

what the fuck

you know somethings wrong when gaud is disturbed

Gorgeous!

shoutout to the people who don’t think double texts seem clingy or uncool text me all day spam me i love that kinda shit

gay pride cat

Oh Christmas tree! Oh Christmas tree!

“May I chew on your branches?”

RIGHTEOUSNESS AND JUSTICE

me. still being catholic.

the superpower of setting conflict. aw yeah B) also, I happen to be a bird but that’s not really important

I’m… dead.

Apparently I’m smart. And I can fly.

Distance doesn’t matter to me, so… teleporting? Flying? Idk

Uhhh. Maybe I can shrink, like Ant-Man? Idk

That’s my name… I have no powers. I am weak.

I am the Author, Creater and Destroyer of Worlds!! I control the very fate of existence!!! 😈😏

Girl who can novel extensively and deeply about anything and everything apparently.

um… being perfect i suppose???

you will bow before my sarcastic werecat powers

Um…

i control the fandoms NOW b i t c h

WOULD YOU LIKE A STAR OR MOON YEETED AT YOU, B I N C H ?

My insults cause physical harm

I am a cryptid and now have magical powers, no one knows what they are, just that they’re magical. Not even I know what my powers are.

YER A WIZARD HARRY

I control all songbirds, and am also an angel….

Neptune snakes

I steal queer children away from abusive parents

I have all the ghostly powers of a normal ghost, but I can only do them when there’s no one around…

Gay Disaster™ but amplified

..i can fly..and night vision

MOON MAGIC

I’m just… a bitch… I make u cry… I give u smut… I can prolly fly cuz jay’s a type o bird… I think that’s all my blog usernames

I c e.

PrincessTigerbelle. Because she is a superhero. The goddess and love and truth. An angel honestly.

i have a bottomless stomach, i eat food and somehow gain no weight

when tumblr gets inevitably deleted lets all go on one giant google doc

Did this for my entire school when they banned discord. It was great

i’m so confused

me @ all of my mutuals

If you reblog this from me we’re automatically friends now.

concept: willy wonka and harry potter take place in the same universe the ministry of magic haaaates Willy Wonka

“Mr. Wonka,” Dumbledore smiled warmly, looking down into the Pit from his podium. The members of the Wizengamot muttered disapprovingly, shifting in their seats. Willy Wonka, clad today in a bright magenta suit and tophat, beamed cheekily up at them from his chair, his silver-gloved hands cradling his chin. 

“Mr. Dumbledore,” He replied brightly, with the barest hint of a lisp. 

“I trust you know why you are here?” Dumbledores question was crisp and businesslike, but the twinkle in his eye gave away his amusement at the situation. 

“Not at all! I’ve nary a clue,” Wonka wiggled his eyebrows. Dumbledore audibly stifled a laugh. 

“You are accused of improper use of magic, improper use of muggle artifacts, and several counts of using magic in front of a muggle,” Dumbledore reminded him. He conjured a projection with his wand. Displayed in grainy sepia was Willy Wonka, arm around a boy of around 10. Behind his back, he twitched an ash wand, and machines in the background around them whirred to life, producing all manner of sweets. 

The projection ran its course and collapsed, and Dumbledore stowed his wand back inside his robes.

Wonka smiled and fiddled with his hat. 

“How do you plead?” Dumbledore asked, leaning forward eagerly for what would surely be an amusing trial. 

“Not guilty on all counts,” Wonka said, perhaps a tad smugly.

The members of the Wizengamot muttered amongst themselves. Not Guilty? Impossible!

Dumbledore hushed them quickly. “Explain, if you would. We have, after all, quite a mountain of evidence.”

Wonka stood and brushed a bit of dust off his suit. He tipped his hat mischievously. “Of course,” he grinned. 

“Firstly, use of magic shall only be considered improper whereby it is applied to cause harm or applied recklessly. All magic used in my sweets is rigorously tested for both safety and taste. It is not used to cause harm, but to bring joy.” Wonka paused to adjust his jacket. 

“But surely,” Dumbledore said, leafing through his notes, “you cannot deny that you illegally charmed several thousand muggle artifacts?”

“Ah, but I can,” Wonka said, now twirling his cap in his hands. “Muggle artifact refers, of course, to any muggle made object. But, you see, I built those machines, each and every one. They are not muggle machines at all, but wizarding machines, built by a wizard. The factory itself, as well. You could argue that, as machines are a muggle invention, I still broke the rules, but then I could argue that every wizard dwelling with any charms applied to its walls is in violation of the law, as muggles were the first to make bricks.”

The Wizengamot glared silently. He was right, of course. Violating the spirit of the law was not illegal if one followed the letter. 

“And the last charge? These are definitely Muggle children, are they not? No magical talent, raised in muggle society?” Dumbledore straightened his glasses and peered down at Wonka, his eyes still bright with intrigue. 

“Not at all,” Wonka grinned, placing his hat back on his head. “You see, the ticket system was not nearly so random as I pretended. The tickets were charmed, they would only becomes visible to children with magical heritage. All the children chosen were second generation Squibs.” Wonka bowed low, as if he were finishing a particularly well executed play. 

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, it seems no laws were violated after all.” Dumbledore stifled a grin at the groans of angry disapproval from the Wizengamot. 

“But he very clearly violated the intent of the rules!” Spluttered a large, rather red faced wizard in the second row. “He’s just…cheating! He’s cheating!”

“Ah, this is true, but he did not, technically speaking, break any of the rules. He did not expose muggles to magic, nor enchant muggle made objects, nor improperly apply magic anymore so than any magical confectioner. I’m afraid we have to let him go.” Dumbledore smiled gently and put away the rather thick file with Wonka’s name embossed on the cover. For the brief second it was open, a list of hundreds of charges with “Not Guilty” inked beside them was visible. It was carried off by a house elf, and the Wizengamot began to file out until only Dumbledore was left. 

“You’re a very clever man,” He called down to Wonka. “We could use you at Hogwarts, you know.”

“No thank you,” Wonka called back, grinning. “Skirting the law is far more fun!”

Willy Wonka is a fucking Slytherin.

I’d prevviously said ‘Yes! Gene Wilder! Wonk!’. Now there’s pics.

BUT…

OMG.

MS. FRIZZLE! (and the MAGIC School Bus).

She must be before the Wizengamot ALL the TIME.

(Is her excuse; ‘Well, it’s educational’???? And it WORKS?!!)

Cornelius Fudge sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. Behind him, the members of the Wizengamot muttered amongst themselves, wondering what his next move would be. When he finally looked up from his podium, all he could do was glare at the chipper redheaded woman perched on the arm of the interrogation seat in the Pit. A bright green lizard poked its head out of the collar of her planet patterned dress and skittered around her shoulders to stare back at him. 

“Mrs. Valerie…” He checked the file again. “Frizzle?”

“Good morning, Minister!” She replied happily, a hint of a laugh in her voice. 

“It’s 3:30 in the afternoon, Madam,” He replied. He was tired. 

“Here yes, but in America, its 10:30 in the morning! Aren’t time zones incredible?” She smiled and he could see all her teeth. 

Fudge’s eye twitched irritably and he took a deep, steadying breath. 

“Do you know why you’ve been called before the Wizengamot today, Mrs. Frizzle?” He asked, shuffling the papers from her file. 

“I’m probably in trouble,” she smiled serenely, absentmindedly petting the lizard. “That is, after all, what the Wizengamot deals in!”

Fudge stifled a groan as he began leafing through her file. He didn’t even know where to begin. “Mrs. Frizzle, you are charged with no less than two hundred and thirty two counts of violating the Statute of Secrecy. Note that this is one count for each muggle known to be exposed to magic through your actions, and not a reflection of how many actions you have taken.” He drew out a page from the file. “Actions that include unlawful use of a sentience charm upon a muggle bus, unlawful use on that same bus of indestructibility charms and some sort of curse or hex that made the damn thing not only unresponsive and utterly unusable to anyone but yourself and your students, but also made us unable to decharm, move or even hide it, several unlawful uses of shrinking charms, bubble head charms, transfiguration, and at least one unregistered charm of your own making that allowed you to leave the planet entirely!” He slammed his hand down on the podium. “Do you have anything at all to say for yourself?!”

Mrs. Frizzle smiled politely. “Prime Minister,” she said calmly, “With all due respect, I have a question for you. Have you ever captured lightning in a bottle?”

“Have I- What?” Fudge spluttered, taken aback by her odd question. 

“Have you ever captured lightening in a bottle?” She repeated, eyes flashing. 

“Of course I haven’t, what sort of nonsense-” He began, but she threw up her hand and interrupted him. 

“Muggles have. They’ve known how to use the same energy that comprises lightening to light their homes for over 100 years now. They can generate what amounts to lightening in a bottle with water, or the light and heat from the sun, or the wind. They can carry music in their pockets. They have been able, for nearly 30 years now, to leave the Earth and stand on the Moon.” Mrs. Frizzle straightened her dress. “I have, yes, been using my magic to help teach my students, but what I’ve been teaching them is science! It’s a shame that we don’t learn science as children the way muggles do. They know how the planets move! They know why the Earth turns! Muggles have a wealth of knowledge that rivals that of the centaurs, and we just,” She gestures around incredulously. “We just ignore it! Did you know they are able to not only capture movement, but also sound on film? It’s incredible!” 

Fudge waved a hand to silence the incensed grumbling of the Wizengamot. “Mrs. Frizzle,” he hissed angrily. “It does not matter how many trinkets and non-magical work-arounds the muggles have made, regardless of how incredible you find them. Their ‘science’ is not on trial here, you are, for exposing muggles to magic!”

“Minister, you do know my students are all muggle borns,” Mrs. Frizzle said, perhaps a touch angrily, her usual enthusiasm for science replaced by an anger at tech marvels being referred to as ‘trinkets’. 

“They’re not the only ones who have seen your…Magic Bus!” Fudge roared, slamming his fist on the podium and eliciting a dull rumble of approval from the Wizengamot. “Mrs. Frizzle, since you have failed to mount a defense, we will now take a vote. All in favor of conviction?” 

A sea of hands shot into the air. 

“All opposed?” 

2 or 3 hands were placed waveringly in the air, then quickly fell. 

“Mrs. Frizzle, you are found guilty of 232 counts of breaking the Statute of Secrecy. The wand you surrendered upon entering the Ministry will be kept, and you are fined in the amount of 1,160 galleons. If you cannot pay this fine, you will be given a job on low level staff or doing community service until such time as the debt is paid. Good day.” Fudge closed her file and handed it the the Junior Undersecretary, who ferried it back to the Hall of Records. 

Mrs. Frizzle stomped out, angry but not ready to give up. Luckily for her, they hadn’t taken her backup wand. She had classes tomorrow, after all, and they couldn’t very well explore the world of pollen without a proper shrinking charm. She made a mental note to stop by her cousin Xenophillius’ house to pick up her backup to her backup. She loved his house. Shaped like a chess peice, can you imagine?

This is why the Wizarding World of Harry Potter is just so…..dumb.

I think you’re all forgetting the obvious… Mary Poppins.

“Back again, Mary?” Dumbledore twinkled at the woman in the felt hat standing ramrod straight in front of the chair in the pit. She’d always been one of his favourite students.

Keep reading

I’m so fucking happy that I found this post again

Tumblr won’t let me read Mary Poppins. T_T

I found it again, and it got better.

My cat has cancer

Recently one of my cats was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer. We can not afford chemo for him and without it he will die within 6 months to a year.

His name is Sylvester and he’s 16 years old and one of the best cuddliest nicest cats I’ve ever known. He loves being carried like a baby. We’ve had him since before he even opened his eyes and we fed him cat formula with a dropper.

I hate to ask, but please please if you can donate or share I’d love you forever and so would Sylvester.

@mostlycatsmostly

100% canon don’t tell me otherwise

this is really gross? like you couldn’t stop being homophobic for actual people ? you had to like a gay fictional pairing?

Not even remotely true.

But even if it were, does it ultimately matter what stops a homophobe from being homophobic, as long as they…yanno…stop being that way?

As @discoursecatharsis said, I’m sorry us older millennials grew up in a far more homophobic culture where no one talked about being queer except as a joke or a tragedy, if it were even talked about at all. For a lot of folks, fandom was the only safe outlet to explore this stuff. Anime was still a growing new thing and one of the few places in media where being gay wasn’t always a punchline so OFC all the baby gays still pretending to be cis and/or het glomped onto it.

Was it perfect? No. Even back then, I was distinctly sick of the uke/seme dynamics being forced into every pairing no matter how ill-fitting. But at least yaoi didn’t bury their gays or censor romantic attraction, so we took it and ran with it.

We grew up–society changed and we too updated our ideals of what being gay meant. More importantly, more people we knew came out. My cousin’s been gay my whole life so I had that but my friends didn’t start coming out till they’d left the little hick conservative town we grew up in. I grew up in driving distance of San Francisco. If my Californians were that fucking scared in a state that considered gay bashing a hate crime in the 2000s, how do you think the rest of the country was doing?

I mean, Twitter OP has a bi flag RIGHT FUCKING THERE.

Think, for God’s sake. 🤦

I can think, can you?

Dont come at me with that bullshit that “things were worse” when there were people who knew what was right.

I’m a queer person and I hate to think that someone got over their homophobia over fictional characters vs having human compassion. and if that works you up and gets you mad, then that’s genuinely very sad.

You’re the one calling a clearly bi person (the flag in the icon is very visible) gross when you know nothing about them aside from one out-of-context tweet. Being queer didn’t stop you from acting like a judgmental asshole.

And human compassion is the prerequisite for any kind of anti-homophobic revelation. Fiction is just one vehicle of exposure to different concepts. For it to work as it does, there HAS to be a capacity for compassion already. So from one queer person to another: put your human compassion to use and stop judging your fellow LGBTQ+ people for what kickstarted the fight against their conditioning.

A lot of people can’t “get over homophobia with real people” because they don’t know any real people who are queer, LGBT, MOGAI, etc. Or at least, they don’t know that they know any. They have two sources of information about queer people:

I am THRILLED to hear someone got over homophobia without having to drag some poor queer person through months of questions and awkward misunderstandings and random stabs of bigotry because they didn’t realize what they were doing or saying was hurtful.

It WAS different, though.  This is disjointed and messy, but hear me out.

I was born in 1977. I’m an 80′s kid. I grew up in the second largest city in Oklahoma. It’s a pretty liberal city, but still, it’s Oklahoma, and, again, this was the 80s.  AIDS was burning through my elders’ generation like a wildfire; hospices were full; sodomy was a crime people were still imprisoned for; there was no explicit representation in entertainment, and precious little implicit. People. Hated. Us.  Even more openly than they do now.

Matthew Shepard was murdered in 1998. He was only half a year younger than me. More heinous things had happened, and still do happen, but that? That one made the local news, and even as we shuddered and wept about it, it was the first time I or any of my colleagues had ever seen an act of homophobic violence publicly condemned in mainstream media of any kind. One of his murderers still tried a “gay panic” defense, and we had to see that, which hurt.

Things were pretty bad.

I was raised by agnostic/atheist people, my father was from L.A. out of liberal Boston stock. My mother was Oklahoman by way of Texas and Louisiana, from a moderately conservative family (they weren’t pricks about it, they didn’t let their -isms show around anyone but other family).

So I honestly had about as liberal an upbringing as you can expect anyone born and raised here to have.

I still heard, from family and from adults around me, awful gay jokes.  There was no internet, so there was no googling for LGBT resources.  I found the local LGBT teen outreach program by finding a slip of paper tucked into a library book, and I didn’t know when I called the number, or even when I showed up the first time to a meeting, whether it would be legit or run by anti-gay bigots looking for a captive audience and possibly some kids to blackmail or out to their parents. I didn’t even have a concept of “transgender” until I was in my later teens, and wasn’t comfortable with the idea until much later which, oops, SURPRISE, I’M NOT CIS!

I knew a lot of kids whose parents didn’t let them read anything that wasn’t pre-approved.  Many of them did not read well anyway, and didn’t have an interest in books (which is not a bad thing, some people just don’t and that’s fine as long as they aren’t trying to keep others from reading).  Many had their television viewing restricted, and there was zero representation anyway. People had fits when a prime time show had their hetero main character become a single mother via IIRC artificial insemination.  SINGLE MOTHERS?  THE WORLD IS FUCKING ENDING.  When Ellen came out, oh my god, people lost it.  You should have heard the things that got said about her in our newspaper, which everyone read because there was no internet to give them other sources for news and the corner store only ever stocked 5 copies of the New York Times that were from 2 days before.

When you are raised in an environment where nothing is there to show you what a better world looks like, you are left to find that world for yourself when you are older.  And even then, you have to go looking for it, and you may not have any idea of how to go about that.

YES, there were people who knew better.  But you don’t get people like that right out of the gate unless they are taught better, usually by family (schools still don’t do enough of this, when I was a kid they still taught that it was morally wrong, and conservative states fight like hell to have even less information, and to be able to label queers as deviants).  Dismissing someone who was confused, possibly even bigoted, but who came to a deeper understanding via fiction? That’s not right. The resources might not have been around them at the right time. Or the resources may have been there, maybe they didn’t care, and for some reason it was fiction that finally broke through that wall for them.

Regardless of the climate now, things may have been very different when/where this happened for them.  And if not?  It’s not less valid.  Yes, things are so much better now (unless you were there, or are willing to listen to and understand people who were, you won’t understand how much). It’s amazing.  Absolutely amazing.  I’m watching She-Ra with my own two eyes and feeling the pain in my heart that the child I was didn’t have this show, because she really needed it and might have grown up to be a better person sooner.  I’m holding hands with my girlfriend in public in Oklagoddamnhoma and nobody hisses or calls the cops. Things are so much better. Not good enough, but better.

One of the reasons we clamor so stridently for inclusion is to normalize queerness for folks who are not queer.  And with the internet, with fanfiction, even fiction that doesn’t have queer representation can still have that effect through fandom-created queer content. I don’t know if Free! had explicitly queer content; not my fandom.  I do know that literally all the fan content for Free! I saw was queer. Very, very loudly so.

So queer entertainment reaching people? This is the kind of thing we say we want to see.  It’s not right to then tell people this isn’t a good enough reason to clue up. It is.  Any reason is good enough.  This isn’t a test of virtue, babes.  We aren’t weighing our hearts against feathers.  This is, literally, a fight for our lives, and we should not give one tin shit in a teacup why people fall into the trenches with us.  We should welcome them.  Is it sad they didn’t realize it sooner?  Sure.  Yes.  But we don’t throw out allies, especially other queer people, because they hold the “right” beliefs for the “wrong” reasons.  If you talk to other queer people and allies outside of Tumblr, especially in person and especially your elders, you are going to find that there are a lot of reasons people come around, and not all of them are going to be narratives that make you comfortable or that make them look particularly virtuous.  We are a diverse community with many voices, we came here down many roads (some of them shitty ones), and that is what makes us so powerful, so enduring, and so proud.

So y’all who are disgusted that it took fanfiction to break through this person’s walls, I get where you are coming from.  When you’ve had your ass kicked for liking the wrong kind of person, it is frustrating to feel like the suffering and pain many queer folks go through wasn’t enough to get through to someone.  I understand that.  I get that.  I feel you.  It’s lamentable, yes. Christ, the way people are still treated today is a fucking tragedy so it’s not like things are all roses. If harm was ever done to you, that’s horrible and I’m sorry and I will be fighting beside you to keep that from happening to anyone else until my dying day.  But for pity’s sake, “Imaginary gays helped me incorporate the idea of queer people into my worldview in a positive way!” is not gross or bad enough to warrant pushing people away.

We are in this together.

I don’t know how you got here.  You are here, and that’s all I need to know.  Give me your hand, you gorgeous disaster, we have other beautiful people to save.

“This isn’t a test of virtue, babes.  We aren’t weighing our hearts against feathers.  This is, literally, a fight for our lives, and we should not give one tin shit in a teacup why people fall into the trenches with us.”

Disclaimer: I in no way hate her. As much as I like her music, I wasn’t very happy with how the video was handled (I also avoided seeing stuff from the vid as much as I can).

To add on, I’d also like to add that:

1.) She was also dressed in stereotypical lgbt style

2.) it’s not cool how all homophobics are portrayed as poor toothless trash who can’t spell, and it could be harmful towards those with dyslexia and other learning disabilities. Excuse me, but one of my closest friends is lesbian and she has dyslexia, and I have another close friend who is bisexual and also has dyslexia (this is what I really wanted to vent out). Oh and Bella Thorne has/had dyslexia, yet she’s lgbt. So yeah....no thank you to that video. Oh and classism, portraying all lgbt as glamourus and rich, and the homophobics as poor. Yikes.

End of me venting cause I needed to get this off my chest for the longest time.

good addition!