I’m addicted to the drugs and the lifestyle that they bring. The copping, the mixing, the using, the rushes, dangers, and destructions.
Excerpt from my journal
I cant cry, so instead, I’ll get high.
~
The insanity of drug addiction has you so conflicted. You know that getting high will kill you, you hate living in the despair that active addiction brings. you want to escape from this hell, you want to be doped up out of your mind. Some days you want to fight for your life, others you hope this shot will kill you. you want all of this to end yet you want to continue feeling that high… Sometimes you’re clean and you want desperately to stay that way while simultaneously wanting to use drugs.
“Was it worth it? No it wasn’t.”
— a journal entry about relapsing. 7-10-18
Why is it so hard to stay sober…
temptation is a bitch
orphanpawn
