one, only tells lies, the other only tells truth, what do you ask

I ask if they have a union.

the left says yes, the right says no

I contact their union guy

the right's cell phone rings

I wait for them to answer it

they pick it up

I ask what their recruitment policy is

they say to talk to the other guy

Since they lied to me before I'll ask again

they say that you shouldn't fill out the forms on the other side of the correct door

I go through the left door to look for the papers

you fall in the spikes

[...]

this makes me! so happy! fanfic isn’t something embarrassing! it’s this awesome world of new endings, AUs, character dives, “what ifs?” and even more!

For those worried about the crew having to do a whole job just for one person, flight staff only get paid for time they're in the air; if he'd cancelled, they wouldn't have gotten paid for zip.

So in other words, he gave them an easy day where they can spend most of it on break, and also airplane staff should unionize.

Also the plane likely has to get to NC somehow so you might as well have fun with it

tags by @boggmann

The guy who shot Ronald Reagan has been selling cat paintings on ebay

He has 100% positive feedback

I bought a bunch of bananas and I’ve caught Cleo staring at them every day since

Update: I took the last one and now she wants to know where her bananas went

How do you know that she doesn’t just really love that bowl?

Because when we leave the bananas on the table without the bowl she stares at them with just as much love!!! She ONLY looks at the empty bowl right after we remove the last banana. Then she’s no longer interested

PSA: *Beware* AI-generated fungi guudebooks!!

…Not a phrase I imagined myself typing today. But, via @heyMAKWA on Twitter:

“i'm not going to link any of them here, for a variety of reasons, but please be aware of what is probably the deadliest AI scam i've ever heard of:

“plant and fungi foraging guide books. the authors are invented, their credentials are invented, and their species IDs will kill you”

…So please be careful if you run across anything of this kind.

this is so upsetting, PLEASE rb to spread awareness

PLEASE, PLEASE REBLOG THIS, WHETHER YOURE JEWISH OR NOT.

THIS IS A SUPER IMPORTANT PART OF OUR HISTORY, DONT LET IT GET DESTROYED.

perhaps help take steps to stop them now from future attempts...

Pieces of Viking pottery with traces of cat and dog paws, seen at the Musée de Normandie in Caen Castle

“So back in the day pets already ruined their owner’s artwork.” - My sis who took the photo

“ruined”? made better

It’s very humanizing to imagine some poor potter in the past screaming “nnnnooooooo bad kitty” somewhere in Scandinavia

If it was ruined, the artisan wouldn’t have baked it.

That’s… that’s a delightful point you just made.

This person chose to bake and keep their cat’s artistic contribution.

i was in spain once and there was a building with a tile that had been laid down in roman times: it had a dog’s paw print. and the thing was that after the dog did that print, the wet tile was dried, and then fired, and then shipped, and then laid, and for two thousand years every person who encountered that tile thought ‘aw! paw print!’ and kept it. this vast agreement by thousands of people over all these centuries, in memory of a dog only one of us could have met. 

i loved that tile. 

Every comment.

As anyone who has worked with wet clay knows, these pawprints could be removed with a dab more clay and a stroke of one hand.

That they weren’t, says all that needs said.

The hand was too busy stroking something furry that purred or wagged its tail.

Making a Chinese lacquerware bracelet

song: 兰亭序 - 周杰伦

English added by me :)

I think these options are unbiased enough for @staff to accept a blaze if anyone with money wants to give it some reach now that we're going site-wide here.

Can we get. one million votes

I need to draw men being obnoxious to their partners and getting In The Way right now immediately.

it is it's nature to Be In The Way.

Just... Pick them up??? Grab a blanket, wrap 'em up, then move them out of the way.

the consequences of doing that:

just needed to make a conclusion to this

tbh this post is Just for the it/its crowd now. keep shining.

(but for real it makes me happy other it/its folks are getting a lil joy out of an it/its character like. casually existing and having a fun gender.)

have i ever talked about my “mob grows up to be a meteorologist and all his friends watch the weather like it’s the superbowl” headcanon on here

mob: the forecast calls for a 50% chance of rain

the comically large group of people crowded around the spirits and such tv to watch his first broadcast:

Loving your brown dark eyes is realising that no one can do better the blue eye shadow than you.

adding onto it!

I'm not an expert, I know nothing about ornithology or biology or zoology or wildlife science or animal behaviours or animal intelligence, but sometimes I think about the fact that birdwatchers in Toronto observed a raven learn how to mimic crow calls, make a nest with a crow and raise a pair of crow-raven hybrids the birdwatchers referred to as cravens and I just think. That's gotta be love, baby.

@elodieunderglass

I’ve got a craven for you babe

“I hate the Police” 💀💀

HELLO FELLOW CRIMINALS. I LIKE DOING CRIME. WHERE DO ALL OF YOU DO YOUR CRIMES? HOW MANY CRIMES DO YOU ON A REGULAR BASIS? ARE YOU PLANNING ANY CURRENT CRIMES? I AM NOT A COP

Ihatethepolice1

If there was a way to run SUPER MEGA AD BLOCKER on this website I fucking would

“Please oh please open up your computer to a porn virus! If you don’t you’re evil!”

Freeloader Comin’ through!

We didn’t start this war internet users have with ads - We might have moaned about banner ads, but it was only when they started making noises when we might be listening to music or a podcast or whatever, causing two sound sorces at once, that we started trying to block ads universally rather than just a specific type of ad (pop ups).

And since then ads have gotten worse - Actual malware rather than merely breaking one of the fundamental sins of web design - though shalt not autoplay anything with sound. And the more aggressive a website is with ‘please turn off adblock’ the less I trust it to bother to vet ads and advertisers to make sure they’re not installing malware.

Not to mention that the idea that avoiding ads is “freeloading” is hilariously backward. Advertisement is a transaction between the platform and the advertiser, the user has no obligation to provide the views/clicks the platform has promised. Using an adblocker isn’t freeloading in the same way that leaving the room to get a snack during a commercial break isn’t cheating the tv network.

Ok y’all, I work as a web developer and I’m here to tell you that you are 100% right and that it’s shit. SO I’m going to tell you how to get around websites that block you from using their website if you’re using an adblocker. 

Every website uses a language called JavaScript; long story short it’s a website language that allows developers to do the crazy shit you see on websites. Now the easiest thing to do is to disable JavaScript to stop them from knowing you have an adblocker:

Oh no! I’m blocked from viewing the website. It would be a terrible shame if I were able to right click and select the “inspect” feature

Click the three dots in the top right and open the “Settings” Menu

And then scrolled down to “Debugger” and checked the “Disable Javascript Option”

And then just refreshed the page

Reblogging to save my life

saving a life

That part.