poeiraefemera
can you blend winston smith from 1984 please
Winston Smith from Nineteen Eighty-Four is being blended!!
“69” is now known as “96”.
Thanks to inflation the cost of eating out has gone way up.
NEW TUMBLR UPDATE:
You can only like 4 posts a day and if you even think of reblogging we're going to blow your brains out
Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated
Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-
Me: he needs to be sedated
Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-
Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off
Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate
Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him
Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him
Me:
A man with 3 caution stickers on his med file
Since this post blew up and people have asked for this villain’s record, here are some of Stinky Bastard Man’s more heinous crimes:
- Screamed so loudly with such unbridled fury the one time he wasn’t sedated at the vet that he caused a little girl in the waiting room to burst into tears
- Ripped an escape hole in the patio screen door in a single night
- Snuck into the garage overnight where he managed to pull down his massive food bag from the top shelves, ripped it open and ate so much he couldn’t/wouldn’t move when we found him in the morning
- Learned how to open the laundry cabinet to sleep on the clean towels
- Learned how to open doors, thus allowing the dog to follow in after who then eats from the trash
- Bats off anything on our windowsills that gets in the way of his sitting. Current succulent casualty count: 4
- Thankfully cannot open the bedroom door due to rusty mechanisms, but managed to slip in one night when it wasn’t fully closed. Jumped down from my windowsill squarely onto my stomach, leaving me to bolt awake screaming from the blow and convinced I was under attack
- Tricked me into loving him forever anyway
Ripped an escape hole
in the patio screen door
in a single night
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
oh my god he’s THIS Stinky Bastard Man!!!!
the stinky bastard man, the stinky bastard myth, the stinky bastard legend
It should be night for a month just so we can see who panics who lives and who dies
wouldn’t even notice with the shit i got going on
if you’re having a bad day, here’s a cute little marching band
blockbhyo
this actually made me cry with joy also one of them is eating noodles
It just keeps going and getting better. *^^*
Me two minutes ago: “cry with joy? an animation of cats playing instruments made someone cry with joy?”
Me now: (sobs into a tissue) “OH MY GOD THAT ONE IS PLAYING TWO RECORDERS AT THE SAME TIME” (blows nose)
CAT PARADE IS BACK
2023 goals:
cry less??????
what the fuck is this genre of gif called. i had a collection of these kinds of images and i lost them all these are only ones i can find.
idk but here’s my collection
no fucking way the queen of england just died
waiting for my knight in shining armor (ibuprofen) to rescue me from the horrors (head hurty)
someone sent this to me, i thought tumblr would enjoy it dearly
apparently no one was paying attention in middle school language arts when we learned what a fucking protagonist was
Scissors are a type of crocodile
call me some type of crocodile the way i be scissoring ur mom
i swear i have an aesthetic it’s just hidden under my sweatpants and tshirts
you’re very special to me *gives you this*
take them i have plenty more
They are so shaped
one of the animals ever for sure